I read this article and I was so irritated by what it said. It's basically an article saying if you want to be married and have a family, settle. SETTLE!?!?!?
Settling is bullshit. I don't expect perfection. I have very realistic expectations of what I want out of a spouse...a life mate. Ultimately all I want is to be loved by that person and I shouldn't have to settle for him liking me but not loving me or me liking him but not loving him.
I really do want someone who loves me....I want someone who I am #1 with...someone who 100% wants to be with me and I 100% want to be with him. I shouldn't have to settle for the guy that is interested in me even if I'm not really feeling him.
I realize 30 is around the corner and like one of my closest friends that is turning 30 this year I'm starting to accept that maybe I won't get married and have kids. But I'd rather be single than settling. I still have hope. I still believe there is someone out there for me. Is getting married by 30 looking likely, no...but I'm not going to settle and marry anyone just to be married by 30.
This article was a jolt to my system. It came at a time when I was questioning a situation I was in. I had no choice but to acknowledge that I was settling for a situation I wasn't really happy with rather than having nothing. I was settling for the more than friends but less than being the girlfriend he truly loved and was committed too scenario. I had to choose to love myself enough and not continue to be in that situation. It's not easy. It's extremely hard to love someone and put time and energy in to making something work. And then to have to accept defeat...that your best wasn't good enough and that you couldn't make the situation work for both people.
He once said we would probably be better off apart. I hope he's right. But even if he's wrong...I'm not settling for less than what I want or less than what I feel I deserve. I deserve to be someone's girlfriend, straight up, real title, full commitment...not the chick that you've been dating and everyone knows you are together but it ain't really official. I've been that chick one too many times in my life and I don't like being her. Ultimately I deserve to be someone's wife. I'm a tenderoni, around the way, homey, lover, friend, ride or die chick. And a man that can appreciate all aspects of that about me is out there.