Video Vixen

Y'all know how much I LOVE to dance. Dancing is my natural high. When I'm really stressed out option A is sex cause there is no better stress reliever. But a close second would be dancing. But my style of dancing is a blessing and a curse.

Dating in NYC has been hit or miss...more miss than hit. And I have tried everything from answering personal ads on Craig's list to Eharmony.com and everything in between. So someone suggested I try going to the club more. And said, "maybe if you didn't stand on poles the whole time, away from everyone you'd get hollered at."

I see his point and maybe it's just me, but I like to go to the club to dance not necessarily to meet guys. I must be one of the few people that can have a good ass time just dancing by myself especially if the DJ is good. Cause if a dude is on my ass or holding me I'm not free to really move.

Guys think that just because I dance like a stripper that they got a freak. If I really was a freak the guys I meet at clubs would never get close enough to me to find out. And the only bold guys at the club are the ugly, short ones. They are always the first ones that try to holla or get up on my ass.

Could I change the way I dance? Yes, but what's the point of that. I love to dance...I like to dance like the chicks you see in the videos and on the stripper poles. Why? Cause it's FUN!!! It makes me feel good. It's like the sexy inner diva makes her appearance.

The video vixen needs an outlet. Some place to dance where my style of dancing is appreciated and it's known that I'm just dancing. So I signed up for a hip hop dance class. And if I can pull off a good speed dating event between now and when classes start I'm going to enroll in a second class. This doesn't help my dating problem but it sure will make me feel good.

Affair, Adultery & Cheating

Silly question, because I guess it is all about semantics but what is the difference between having an affair, adultery and cheating? I hit the American Heritage Dictionary for answers.

Affair - A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.

Adultery - Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.

Cheating - To be sexually unfaithful

Not a clear distinction from one to the other and not sure a clear distinction can be made. None of these terms take in to account emotional cheating. I consider emotional cheating as to love the person you are with but be in love with someone else. You may never act on this feeling but the fact that your heart belongs to someone besides the person you are with is a crime.

So is there really a difference or is it all semantics?

Whose Got Next?

Would you rather know or not know the person your ex is going to date next? What if the person next was actually the person who had last? And what if the next was around while you were #1?

Hip Hop Musings

I'm working on a project at work so I've been listening to a lot of Launch. Here are some random thoughts the music has inspired.

Will Rich Boy be a one hit wonder? I mean...who names themselves Rich Boy before they are rich. And he is a funny looking dude...his face/head has an awkward shape.

I'm really feeling the song "Wouldn't Get Far" by The Game. The song makes me think of my trip to Vegas. At one point, when I was actually awake during the car ride MS played that song. Although the song lyrics have nothing to do with travelling the words "wouldn't get far" makes me think about how I almost didn't make it to Vegas.

Could Mims really make a million saying nothing on a track? I thought he was saying that to imply that he was a producer before he was a rapper or something. Kanye West could make a million saying nothing on a track. And why Mims got Remy Ma in his video like that is a good look?

If you have ever seen the "I'm a Flirt" remix video at the end a phone number flashes across the bottom of the screen. So I was tempted to see what I would hear when I called up. It's a recording with a few snippets off his upcoming album called "Double Up."

I think R. Kelly came up with the song i'm a flirt in one of my his many court appearances because the first verse says "I swear to tell the truth and the whole truth." Why does T. Pain's voice sound like Roger in the song "Computer Love." If I had a boyfriend T. Pain could not get my boyfriend mad. And I don't care how much R. Kelly would ever flirt cause I'd be scared to leave the club with him...he might piss on me...or worse.

Paying Myself First

The new year is underway and I'm hard at work on my resolutions. One of my resolutions is to pay off some credit cards. But a part B or 1a is to save some money as well.

I was inspired by an email I received from Queen T. She just started an ING Direct savings account and sent me an email. If I opened an account with $250 to start I would get a $25 bonus and she would get a $10 bonus. That was just the motivation I needed. But there are several good online savings accounts with higher interest rates. Two other good options are HSBC Direct and Emigrant Direct. I also opened an account with HSBC.

I remember going to a seminar called "Pay Yourself First" and in the seminar the lecturer said to see paying myself as another bill that I have to pay every month. That way you won't miss it and you will be saving. So for now, I'm having a samll sum automatically deducted from my checking each month and put in to each account. I know it isn't a lot but it is a good start given that I wasn't saving anything before. And I can still focus on paying off some of my credit cards.

If you are serious about paying yourself first too, send me an email. I can send you an invitation to join ING Direct and you too can get a $25 bonus.

Fall Back

How do you know when it's time to fall back from a relationship?

Too many times I hear people say they didn't end a situation when they should have...earlier on...before the other person cheated...before the other person admitted they were in love with their best friend (the same person you always suspected)...before the secret love letters found while doing laundry...before the missing condoms...before the 3am phone calls from "only friends"...before the coming home late or not coming home at all...before the lying began...before the snooping began...before the trust faded...before the person broke your heart.

Before all of this happens there are always signs that we should fall back and let it go...but why don't we? Why don't we use the common sense we were born with and fall back and then move on? Why can we advise our friends but when we find ourselves in the same situation we can't take our own advice? Do we stay and try to make it last because the thought of that person being with someone else or already having you replaced is more than your heart can bear?

One That Got Away

I blogged about this topic in my former life.

I found another interesting blog post on the topic:

"Have you ever Googled an ex? Have you ever wondered what happened to the first, the truest and/or the greatest love of your life?

Have you ever wanted to sit down with that person and ask: How often, if ever, do you think of me (and in what context)? Do you have any regrets? What do you think would have happened if we ended up together? Were we soul mates? If so, how could you move on to someone else so quickly, so easily and painlessly with someone else? Have you ever considered how that person would respond if and when you did contact (let’s say) her today? With dismissive laughter? A restraining order? Tears of joy?"

But I have some more questions on the topic:
- Are you the one that got away from someone...do you know it because they told you or you just feel it?

- Do you ever wonder if you are the one that got away from someone else?

- Has someone really gotten away from you if you are still able to communicate with them, see them, etc.?

- What was your reasoning for letting someone get away? Is that reasoning as valid today as when it happened?

- What if you reconnected with your one that got away and the feelings were just as strong as before but they were married, would you consider an affair? Or if your one that got away reconnected with you and you were married...would you consider an affair or even a divorce?

The one that got away is a very interesting topic to me. Because it calls in to question if you believe in the ideas of true love and soul mates and if you believe in having only one true love or soul mate.