I read this article and I was so irritated by what it said. It's basically an article saying if you want to be married and have a family, settle. SETTLE!?!?!?
Settling is bullshit. I don't expect perfection. I have very realistic expectations of what I want out of a spouse...a life mate. Ultimately all I want is to be loved by that person and I shouldn't have to settle for him liking me but not loving me or me liking him but not loving him.
I really do want someone who loves me....I want someone who I am #1 with...someone who 100% wants to be with me and I 100% want to be with him. I shouldn't have to settle for the guy that is interested in me even if I'm not really feeling him.
I realize 30 is around the corner and like one of my closest friends that is turning 30 this year I'm starting to accept that maybe I won't get married and have kids. But I'd rather be single than settling. I still have hope. I still believe there is someone out there for me. Is getting married by 30 looking likely, no...but I'm not going to settle and marry anyone just to be married by 30.
This article was a jolt to my system. It came at a time when I was questioning a situation I was in. I had no choice but to acknowledge that I was settling for a situation I wasn't really happy with rather than having nothing. I was settling for the more than friends but less than being the girlfriend he truly loved and was committed too scenario. I had to choose to love myself enough and not continue to be in that situation. It's not easy. It's extremely hard to love someone and put time and energy in to making something work. And then to have to accept defeat...that your best wasn't good enough and that you couldn't make the situation work for both people.
He once said we would probably be better off apart. I hope he's right. But even if he's wrong...I'm not settling for less than what I want or less than what I feel I deserve. I deserve to be someone's girlfriend, straight up, real title, full commitment...not the chick that you've been dating and everyone knows you are together but it ain't really official. I've been that chick one too many times in my life and I don't like being her. Ultimately I deserve to be someone's wife. I'm a tenderoni, around the way, homey, lover, friend, ride or die chick. And a man that can appreciate all aspects of that about me is out there.
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Miscommunication
I think one of my biggest hinderances in dating, besides my hectic schedule, is the way in which I communicate. Funny thing for a journalist to be saying. But it's true. Just like you can be sexually incapatible you can be incompatible in the way you communicate.
I communicate best through IM, email and text messages. The last relationships as well as guys I have dated I got to know in those ways. It works for me because it allows me to multitask. So if a guy is the type that likes to talk for hours on end on the phone we are immediately incompatible. Time spent talking on the phone we could be on a date.
I'm just too busy and have too many things to do to spend a large amount of time yapping on a phone. But I can talk on IM for HOURS because I'm doing 30 other things while IMing.
When it cames to dating I'm my own worst enemy...from the way I communicate to how much time I have to devote to dating/getting to know someone to the standards/expectations I have. But I haven't given up hope...I'm a Pisces...we love to love...my Mr. Right is out there and we are just waiting to stumble upon each other.
I communicate best through IM, email and text messages. The last relationships as well as guys I have dated I got to know in those ways. It works for me because it allows me to multitask. So if a guy is the type that likes to talk for hours on end on the phone we are immediately incompatible. Time spent talking on the phone we could be on a date.
I'm just too busy and have too many things to do to spend a large amount of time yapping on a phone. But I can talk on IM for HOURS because I'm doing 30 other things while IMing.
When it cames to dating I'm my own worst enemy...from the way I communicate to how much time I have to devote to dating/getting to know someone to the standards/expectations I have. But I haven't given up hope...I'm a Pisces...we love to love...my Mr. Right is out there and we are just waiting to stumble upon each other.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
20 Dates for under $20
I know I haven't blogged in a while but I've been busy. No, not busy having ginormous amounts of fun. Busy working and trying to hang out when I'm not working. But this post comes by way of an email...another reminder to keep the faith and not lose your wallet in this crazy game called dating:
1. Find the best happy hour in town. Look through your newspaper or search online for local restaurants and bars with happy hours. Most places offer half-price food and drink specials, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than $20.
2. Go to a museum. Most museums either have free admission or offer free entry on certain days of the month.
3. Visit your local zoo. Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than $10. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic while you're there.
4. Go on a romantic hike. Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with a bottle of champagne, glasses and fresh strawberries.
5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or beach. Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids.
6. Beat the heat with an ice cream date. Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching.
7. Hit the dollar movie theater. Lots of cities have discount movie theaters showing second-run features. Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.
8. Take a downtown walking tour. Discover things and places you never knew existed. While you're there, pick up a free visitors guide for more date ideas.
9. Plan a cheap picnic. Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own backyard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of $5 wine.
10. Take a blanket to the beach. Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese, then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on a blanket.
11. Stroll through the botanical gardens. Spend the day “walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests” walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests, for less than $10 a ticket.
12. Be a kid again. Go bowling, play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag.
13. Build a bonfire. All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity to make 'smores.
14. Rent something. Go roller- or ice-skating, rent a two-seater bike and pedal through the park, or paddle a boat on a pond.
15. Paint pottery together. Lots of studios let you get creative for around $6 an hour.
16. Pitch a tent. Park fees are usually less than $10, which leaves money for food and firewood. Go camping and roast hot dogs as you gaze at the stars.
17. Go wine tasting. Most wineries charge around $5 for a tasting of five different wines -- plus, “you'll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date” you'll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date.
18. Take a scenic drive. Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe.
19. Explore local galleries and artists. Many cities have art walks one night a month during the summer, with the bonus of a free glass of wine.
20. Rack 'em up at your local pool joint. With pool games costing less than $2, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer.
1. Find the best happy hour in town. Look through your newspaper or search online for local restaurants and bars with happy hours. Most places offer half-price food and drink specials, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than $20.
2. Go to a museum. Most museums either have free admission or offer free entry on certain days of the month.
3. Visit your local zoo. Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than $10. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic while you're there.
4. Go on a romantic hike. Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with a bottle of champagne, glasses and fresh strawberries.
5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or beach. Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids.
6. Beat the heat with an ice cream date. Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching.
7. Hit the dollar movie theater. Lots of cities have discount movie theaters showing second-run features. Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.
8. Take a downtown walking tour. Discover things and places you never knew existed. While you're there, pick up a free visitors guide for more date ideas.
9. Plan a cheap picnic. Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own backyard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of $5 wine.
10. Take a blanket to the beach. Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese, then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on a blanket.
11. Stroll through the botanical gardens. Spend the day “walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests” walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests, for less than $10 a ticket.
12. Be a kid again. Go bowling, play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag.
13. Build a bonfire. All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity to make 'smores.
14. Rent something. Go roller- or ice-skating, rent a two-seater bike and pedal through the park, or paddle a boat on a pond.
15. Paint pottery together. Lots of studios let you get creative for around $6 an hour.
16. Pitch a tent. Park fees are usually less than $10, which leaves money for food and firewood. Go camping and roast hot dogs as you gaze at the stars.
17. Go wine tasting. Most wineries charge around $5 for a tasting of five different wines -- plus, “you'll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date” you'll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date.
18. Take a scenic drive. Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe.
19. Explore local galleries and artists. Many cities have art walks one night a month during the summer, with the bonus of a free glass of wine.
20. Rack 'em up at your local pool joint. With pool games costing less than $2, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Teach Me How To Love
How do you define love? If you look the word up in the dictionary there is over 25 different explanations for it. I don't think there is one right or wrong definition. The dictionary just proves that love is defined and applied differently based on the individual. Whenever I question what love is or need to be reminded of the kind of love I want to give and receive I turn to my faith.
According to 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and 13:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
To me, this is the definition of a perfect love. I am not perfect so I do not seek perfection I just strive to be better.
According to 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and 13:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
To me, this is the definition of a perfect love. I am not perfect so I do not seek perfection I just strive to be better.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Heart of the Matter
If I had $100 for every time someone asked my why I was single I could pay off my student loans. But seriously I had a day where 5 totally unrelated people asked me some form of the same question. I'll go with the "cute" version..."How could your pretty tail be lonely?" EASILY!
Normally when I'm asked whatever version of the same question I have to refrain from rolling my eyes and sighing in frustration. But given the person that asked me hadn't talked to me in awhile I decided to not skim over an answer. And of course he asked a two part question, "What do you want in a man?" If I had $100 for every time someone asked me that question I could pay off all my credit cards.
I told him that he knows me and the kind of person that I am. I don't require a lot in the form of a man buying me things. But from a man what I do require is invaluable and once given can't be gained back. He said, "Virginity?" I died laughing at that one. I said, "No...time, attention, trust, emotional support, unconditional love and ultimately your heart. All concepts that are apparently too mature for the boys I meet. I'm ready to share my world not just my bed."
His response was, "Wow, you are growing up. I know that quality people are hard to find but they are out there. Just don't lower the bar. Trust me, it's better to wait for the right person then to get caught up and realize you were wrong."
But then he pissed me off. "You have grown a lot but you don't know what you want. You are still a baby. What you said is a good start but then you gotta deal with specifics."
Why did he say that? I have plenty of specifics: grounded, financial responsible, emotionally stable, driven, passionate, able to balance competing forces like work, family, friends and a relationship, belief in a higher power, compatible sex drive, similar values, similar interests, ready to grow with someone and I could go on and on.
After that all he could say was, "Wow, I am convinced." I know why I am single...blogged about that before. I know what I want...blogged about that before. I've been through enough hardships, heartbreaks, kissed enough toads, etc. to know who I am and what I want. I'm just tired of waiting for him to find me.
Normally when I'm asked whatever version of the same question I have to refrain from rolling my eyes and sighing in frustration. But given the person that asked me hadn't talked to me in awhile I decided to not skim over an answer. And of course he asked a two part question, "What do you want in a man?" If I had $100 for every time someone asked me that question I could pay off all my credit cards.
I told him that he knows me and the kind of person that I am. I don't require a lot in the form of a man buying me things. But from a man what I do require is invaluable and once given can't be gained back. He said, "Virginity?" I died laughing at that one. I said, "No...time, attention, trust, emotional support, unconditional love and ultimately your heart. All concepts that are apparently too mature for the boys I meet. I'm ready to share my world not just my bed."
His response was, "Wow, you are growing up. I know that quality people are hard to find but they are out there. Just don't lower the bar. Trust me, it's better to wait for the right person then to get caught up and realize you were wrong."
But then he pissed me off. "You have grown a lot but you don't know what you want. You are still a baby. What you said is a good start but then you gotta deal with specifics."
Why did he say that? I have plenty of specifics: grounded, financial responsible, emotionally stable, driven, passionate, able to balance competing forces like work, family, friends and a relationship, belief in a higher power, compatible sex drive, similar values, similar interests, ready to grow with someone and I could go on and on.
After that all he could say was, "Wow, I am convinced." I know why I am single...blogged about that before. I know what I want...blogged about that before. I've been through enough hardships, heartbreaks, kissed enough toads, etc. to know who I am and what I want. I'm just tired of waiting for him to find me.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
What Happened to Dating?
I once posted an ad on Craig's List asking this very question. And I know I have blogged in the past on dating ideas. Apparently what has happened to dating is that people have gotten lazy and have lost creativity...they don't think outside of the box.
So here are some date ideas and some are actually free or cheap:
- Free movie screening or matinee (leaves the rest of the day to do something else)
- Every place has after work drink specials
- Most jobs give employees discounts to things around the city like museums
- Dinner, drinks and games at Dave & Busters and not expensive if you do the Power Combo...it comes with a $10 game card
- You can get half priced tickets to Broadway shows or go to an off Broadway show or even go to a community theater
- Walk across the BK bridge and talk and get to know each other while gazing at the beautiful skyline that is NYC
- Go bowling or play pool
- Take a salsa class together... A lot of places will offer the first trial class free
- Roam around a book store or a library
- Hit up a Starbucks or better yet a not-so-name brand coffee shop
- Share your MP3 collection with each other
- Roam around a part of town you have never roamed before... You never know where you could end up or what you might find, including about each other
- Summer is almost here and there will be PLENTY of street festivals
- Carnivals are another staple of summer
- Hit the beach...Jones Beach or Coney Island are not that far
- Go cart racing is always fun
- Share a hotdog as you walk around Central Park...An impromptu picnic would be an even nicer touch.
- Horse and carriage ride...every gir's dream
- Workout together. I avoid the gym because I don't know how to use the equipment but if someone offered to show me I would go.
- Make plans to cook something together. Even something as simple as baking a cake or cookies.
- Play miniature golf
- Watch the sunrise or sunset together
- Read a book aloud together. I prefer a Zane short story or even some poetry.
- Buy the ingredients to make an ice cream sundae, and create it together. Or if that is too much work, find the nearest Mr. Softee truck.
- Go to a comedy club. Everyone likes to laugh.
- Visit a museum
- Ascend to the top of the Rock or the Empire State building
- Go sightseeing...It's not just exclusive to tourists
- Take me out to the ballgame...Buy me an italian sausage, a soda and a carvel sundae in a Yankee cup
- Rent canoes and paddle around the nearest lake. I always wanted to rent a paddle boat on the Potamic
- Go to the zoo
- Visit the botanical gardens
- Play a board game
- Teach me how to play chess
- Drive some place close that you have never visited before
- Visit a bed and breakfast for a nice overnight getaway
- Go to a strip club together (not recommended for a first date)
I know I'm not the only one with ideas. Come on people....dating ideas? Now, if I can just find some dates to do all the things I have thought of.
So here are some date ideas and some are actually free or cheap:
- Free movie screening or matinee (leaves the rest of the day to do something else)
- Every place has after work drink specials
- Most jobs give employees discounts to things around the city like museums
- Dinner, drinks and games at Dave & Busters and not expensive if you do the Power Combo...it comes with a $10 game card
- You can get half priced tickets to Broadway shows or go to an off Broadway show or even go to a community theater
- Walk across the BK bridge and talk and get to know each other while gazing at the beautiful skyline that is NYC
- Go bowling or play pool
- Take a salsa class together... A lot of places will offer the first trial class free
- Roam around a book store or a library
- Hit up a Starbucks or better yet a not-so-name brand coffee shop
- Share your MP3 collection with each other
- Roam around a part of town you have never roamed before... You never know where you could end up or what you might find, including about each other
- Summer is almost here and there will be PLENTY of street festivals
- Carnivals are another staple of summer
- Hit the beach...Jones Beach or Coney Island are not that far
- Go cart racing is always fun
- Share a hotdog as you walk around Central Park...An impromptu picnic would be an even nicer touch.
- Horse and carriage ride...every gir's dream
- Workout together. I avoid the gym because I don't know how to use the equipment but if someone offered to show me I would go.
- Make plans to cook something together. Even something as simple as baking a cake or cookies.
- Play miniature golf
- Watch the sunrise or sunset together
- Read a book aloud together. I prefer a Zane short story or even some poetry.
- Buy the ingredients to make an ice cream sundae, and create it together. Or if that is too much work, find the nearest Mr. Softee truck.
- Go to a comedy club. Everyone likes to laugh.
- Visit a museum
- Ascend to the top of the Rock or the Empire State building
- Go sightseeing...It's not just exclusive to tourists
- Take me out to the ballgame...Buy me an italian sausage, a soda and a carvel sundae in a Yankee cup
- Rent canoes and paddle around the nearest lake. I always wanted to rent a paddle boat on the Potamic
- Go to the zoo
- Visit the botanical gardens
- Play a board game
- Teach me how to play chess
- Drive some place close that you have never visited before
- Visit a bed and breakfast for a nice overnight getaway
- Go to a strip club together (not recommended for a first date)
I know I'm not the only one with ideas. Come on people....dating ideas? Now, if I can just find some dates to do all the things I have thought of.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Video Vixen
Y'all know how much I LOVE to dance. Dancing is my natural high. When I'm really stressed out option A is sex cause there is no better stress reliever. But a close second would be dancing. But my style of dancing is a blessing and a curse.
Dating in NYC has been hit or miss...more miss than hit. And I have tried everything from answering personal ads on Craig's list to Eharmony.com and everything in between. So someone suggested I try going to the club more. And said, "maybe if you didn't stand on poles the whole time, away from everyone you'd get hollered at."
I see his point and maybe it's just me, but I like to go to the club to dance not necessarily to meet guys. I must be one of the few people that can have a good ass time just dancing by myself especially if the DJ is good. Cause if a dude is on my ass or holding me I'm not free to really move.
Guys think that just because I dance like a stripper that they got a freak. If I really was a freak the guys I meet at clubs would never get close enough to me to find out. And the only bold guys at the club are the ugly, short ones. They are always the first ones that try to holla or get up on my ass.
Could I change the way I dance? Yes, but what's the point of that. I love to dance...I like to dance like the chicks you see in the videos and on the stripper poles. Why? Cause it's FUN!!! It makes me feel good. It's like the sexy inner diva makes her appearance.
The video vixen needs an outlet. Some place to dance where my style of dancing is appreciated and it's known that I'm just dancing. So I signed up for a hip hop dance class. And if I can pull off a good speed dating event between now and when classes start I'm going to enroll in a second class. This doesn't help my dating problem but it sure will make me feel good.
Dating in NYC has been hit or miss...more miss than hit. And I have tried everything from answering personal ads on Craig's list to Eharmony.com and everything in between. So someone suggested I try going to the club more. And said, "maybe if you didn't stand on poles the whole time, away from everyone you'd get hollered at."
I see his point and maybe it's just me, but I like to go to the club to dance not necessarily to meet guys. I must be one of the few people that can have a good ass time just dancing by myself especially if the DJ is good. Cause if a dude is on my ass or holding me I'm not free to really move.
Guys think that just because I dance like a stripper that they got a freak. If I really was a freak the guys I meet at clubs would never get close enough to me to find out. And the only bold guys at the club are the ugly, short ones. They are always the first ones that try to holla or get up on my ass.
Could I change the way I dance? Yes, but what's the point of that. I love to dance...I like to dance like the chicks you see in the videos and on the stripper poles. Why? Cause it's FUN!!! It makes me feel good. It's like the sexy inner diva makes her appearance.
The video vixen needs an outlet. Some place to dance where my style of dancing is appreciated and it's known that I'm just dancing. So I signed up for a hip hop dance class. And if I can pull off a good speed dating event between now and when classes start I'm going to enroll in a second class. This doesn't help my dating problem but it sure will make me feel good.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Affair, Adultery & Cheating
Silly question, because I guess it is all about semantics but what is the difference between having an affair, adultery and cheating? I hit the American Heritage Dictionary for answers.
Affair - A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.
Adultery - Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.
Cheating - To be sexually unfaithful
Not a clear distinction from one to the other and not sure a clear distinction can be made. None of these terms take in to account emotional cheating. I consider emotional cheating as to love the person you are with but be in love with someone else. You may never act on this feeling but the fact that your heart belongs to someone besides the person you are with is a crime.
So is there really a difference or is it all semantics?
Affair - A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.
Adultery - Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.
Cheating - To be sexually unfaithful
Not a clear distinction from one to the other and not sure a clear distinction can be made. None of these terms take in to account emotional cheating. I consider emotional cheating as to love the person you are with but be in love with someone else. You may never act on this feeling but the fact that your heart belongs to someone besides the person you are with is a crime.
So is there really a difference or is it all semantics?
Monday, March 12, 2007
Whose Got Next?
Would you rather know or not know the person your ex is going to date next? What if the person next was actually the person who had last? And what if the next was around while you were #1?
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Fall Back
How do you know when it's time to fall back from a relationship?
Too many times I hear people say they didn't end a situation when they should have...earlier on...before the other person cheated...before the other person admitted they were in love with their best friend (the same person you always suspected)...before the secret love letters found while doing laundry...before the missing condoms...before the 3am phone calls from "only friends"...before the coming home late or not coming home at all...before the lying began...before the snooping began...before the trust faded...before the person broke your heart.
Before all of this happens there are always signs that we should fall back and let it go...but why don't we? Why don't we use the common sense we were born with and fall back and then move on? Why can we advise our friends but when we find ourselves in the same situation we can't take our own advice? Do we stay and try to make it last because the thought of that person being with someone else or already having you replaced is more than your heart can bear?
Too many times I hear people say they didn't end a situation when they should have...earlier on...before the other person cheated...before the other person admitted they were in love with their best friend (the same person you always suspected)...before the secret love letters found while doing laundry...before the missing condoms...before the 3am phone calls from "only friends"...before the coming home late or not coming home at all...before the lying began...before the snooping began...before the trust faded...before the person broke your heart.
Before all of this happens there are always signs that we should fall back and let it go...but why don't we? Why don't we use the common sense we were born with and fall back and then move on? Why can we advise our friends but when we find ourselves in the same situation we can't take our own advice? Do we stay and try to make it last because the thought of that person being with someone else or already having you replaced is more than your heart can bear?
Monday, March 05, 2007
One That Got Away
I blogged about this topic in my former life.
I found another interesting blog post on the topic:
"Have you ever Googled an ex? Have you ever wondered what happened to the first, the truest and/or the greatest love of your life?
Have you ever wanted to sit down with that person and ask: How often, if ever, do you think of me (and in what context)? Do you have any regrets? What do you think would have happened if we ended up together? Were we soul mates? If so, how could you move on to someone else so quickly, so easily and painlessly with someone else? Have you ever considered how that person would respond if and when you did contact (let’s say) her today? With dismissive laughter? A restraining order? Tears of joy?"
But I have some more questions on the topic:
- Are you the one that got away from someone...do you know it because they told you or you just feel it?
- Do you ever wonder if you are the one that got away from someone else?
- Has someone really gotten away from you if you are still able to communicate with them, see them, etc.?
- What was your reasoning for letting someone get away? Is that reasoning as valid today as when it happened?
- What if you reconnected with your one that got away and the feelings were just as strong as before but they were married, would you consider an affair? Or if your one that got away reconnected with you and you were married...would you consider an affair or even a divorce?
The one that got away is a very interesting topic to me. Because it calls in to question if you believe in the ideas of true love and soul mates and if you believe in having only one true love or soul mate.
I found another interesting blog post on the topic:
"Have you ever Googled an ex? Have you ever wondered what happened to the first, the truest and/or the greatest love of your life?
Have you ever wanted to sit down with that person and ask: How often, if ever, do you think of me (and in what context)? Do you have any regrets? What do you think would have happened if we ended up together? Were we soul mates? If so, how could you move on to someone else so quickly, so easily and painlessly with someone else? Have you ever considered how that person would respond if and when you did contact (let’s say) her today? With dismissive laughter? A restraining order? Tears of joy?"
But I have some more questions on the topic:
- Are you the one that got away from someone...do you know it because they told you or you just feel it?
- Do you ever wonder if you are the one that got away from someone else?
- Has someone really gotten away from you if you are still able to communicate with them, see them, etc.?
- What was your reasoning for letting someone get away? Is that reasoning as valid today as when it happened?
- What if you reconnected with your one that got away and the feelings were just as strong as before but they were married, would you consider an affair? Or if your one that got away reconnected with you and you were married...would you consider an affair or even a divorce?
The one that got away is a very interesting topic to me. Because it calls in to question if you believe in the ideas of true love and soul mates and if you believe in having only one true love or soul mate.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Second Date
First dates are easy to come by. You go on a date and either you click or you don't. But because first dates are so easy to come by, second dates are a little harder to have.
I don't take any potential suitor seriously until we have been on a second date. But how many dates does it take for you to know if you are feeling someone?
I'm giving this internet dating thing another try because conventional dating, whatever that means, has not worked for me. I met this really nice guy and we have a lot of similar interests but our schedules, location and preferred modes of communication pose a serious challenge to getting to know each other.
I met him through a Craig's List ad and after our first date he said he would take the ad down. I advised him against that. I said you never know who you will meet and you should not put all your eggs in one basket. But after our second date he reposted his ad. Part of me wanted to be offended but a larger part of me really didn't care that deeply. But I sent him an email teasing him about his repost and I must have hit a nerve. It was like he felt guilty about posting and he went on and on about how he would like to get to know me better if I would only make the time.
He's a nice guy...a great guy...just not sure if he is great for me. We have a good time when we do hang out but I don't feel that desire to make time. You know that feeling that no matter how busy your schedule is you are going to find time to see that person. I don't have that feeling. But how do you tell someone, in a nice way, I think you are cool but I don't see this going anywhere and yet still remain cool with the person? Oh well, I guess it's back to the Craig's List ads for me.
I don't take any potential suitor seriously until we have been on a second date. But how many dates does it take for you to know if you are feeling someone?
I'm giving this internet dating thing another try because conventional dating, whatever that means, has not worked for me. I met this really nice guy and we have a lot of similar interests but our schedules, location and preferred modes of communication pose a serious challenge to getting to know each other.
I met him through a Craig's List ad and after our first date he said he would take the ad down. I advised him against that. I said you never know who you will meet and you should not put all your eggs in one basket. But after our second date he reposted his ad. Part of me wanted to be offended but a larger part of me really didn't care that deeply. But I sent him an email teasing him about his repost and I must have hit a nerve. It was like he felt guilty about posting and he went on and on about how he would like to get to know me better if I would only make the time.
He's a nice guy...a great guy...just not sure if he is great for me. We have a good time when we do hang out but I don't feel that desire to make time. You know that feeling that no matter how busy your schedule is you are going to find time to see that person. I don't have that feeling. But how do you tell someone, in a nice way, I think you are cool but I don't see this going anywhere and yet still remain cool with the person? Oh well, I guess it's back to the Craig's List ads for me.
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