As most of you know Father's Day holds little meaning for me. Not because I don't love my Father but he has been dead for 23 years. Over the years my Mom would encourage me to get cards for the male influences in my life at Father's Day. But it's not the same as when it's your own Dad.
I have been blessed to have a few good father figures in my life. The other day I went to Hallmark and they had a new category "Like A Father." So I found an appropriate card and sent it to the current "Like A Father," figure in my life.
But this Father's Day is different for me. The stars, moon and calendar have aligned in such a way that Father's Day is also my Father's birthday. If he had lived he would have turned 60 on Father's Day.
A few weeks ago my brother said that our Mom's birthday was his birthday. And I said why? He said, because if she wasn't born we wouldn't be here so it's our day too. That's an interesting concept. My Father's birthday is also my birthday.
If I still lived in Atlanta I would have made the 2.5 hour drive to Tifton, GA. That is where he is buried. But logistics as they are I can't do that. I feel like I should do something but I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll call my father's brother but it's probably a little strange to do that given that I am estranged from his family.
To those that still have your Dads, whether the relationship is good, bad or indifferent, give them a call...send them a text...cause whether they are active or not in your life, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them.
Showing posts with label Family Matters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Matters. Show all posts
Friday, June 19, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
In Suze Orman, I Trust
Before you mumble and groan that I'm talking about my financial shero again I promise to only bring Suze Orman up when it is absolutely necessary. Well last Saturday I was watching her show and she gave away something for FREE.
Suze Orman has a Will & Trust kit that normally sells for $13.50 (not a bad price) but she is giving it away for FREE. So I know your next question is what is a Will & Trust Kit and what does it include. I snatched the description from the website:
This is an easy-to-use and fast way for you and other members of your household to create your own advance directive, also known as a living will, durable power of attorney for health care, living revocable trust, and all the other must-have documents you need to protect you and your family. It’s as easy as 1-2-3—simply personalize, print, and protect. Suze Orman and her own estate trust attorney have created the most state-of-the-art documents found anywhere. There are more than $2,500 worth of estate documents in this kit. Why pay thousands of dollars when you can get the same documents in this kit!
This kit includes:
• More than 50 state-of-the-art documents
• Free automatic on-line updates
• Verbal and written instructions taking you step by step through the four must-have documents (living will, durable power of attorney for health care, living revocable trust, financial power of attorney)
• Password protection securing multiple users’ information
• A tutorial that shows you everything you need to know
• 10 electronic books
Now I know you are like why do I need a will, trust or any of these documents. Bottomline, because you just never know. For example, I'm single with no kids but I have a house in Atlanta. If I don't create a will the house would just go back to the bank. There may be someone in my family I want to will the house too. Or God forbid I get in to an accident, my family has no idea where I stand on wanting my organs donated or if I want to be taken off life support, etc., etc. I know no one wants to talk about/deal with these issues but if this economic crisis has taught us anything it's that at minimum we need to have some plan in place for the future because you just never know.
It's extremely easy to get the kit:
1. Go to Suze Orman.com
2. Click on Will & Trust Kit
3. Click on Gift Code
4. Enter "People First" in to the code area
5. You will immediately be given an activation code to start using her Will & Trust Kit
If you don't want to use the kit right away, just get the activation code so you can use it at a later date. Some things are happening in my family that I'll talk about in the coming weeks but I'll just say that an offer for a kit like this for FREE couldn't have come at a more appropriate time in my life.
Suze Orman has a Will & Trust kit that normally sells for $13.50 (not a bad price) but she is giving it away for FREE. So I know your next question is what is a Will & Trust Kit and what does it include. I snatched the description from the website:
This is an easy-to-use and fast way for you and other members of your household to create your own advance directive, also known as a living will, durable power of attorney for health care, living revocable trust, and all the other must-have documents you need to protect you and your family. It’s as easy as 1-2-3—simply personalize, print, and protect. Suze Orman and her own estate trust attorney have created the most state-of-the-art documents found anywhere. There are more than $2,500 worth of estate documents in this kit. Why pay thousands of dollars when you can get the same documents in this kit!
This kit includes:
• More than 50 state-of-the-art documents
• Free automatic on-line updates
• Verbal and written instructions taking you step by step through the four must-have documents (living will, durable power of attorney for health care, living revocable trust, financial power of attorney)
• Password protection securing multiple users’ information
• A tutorial that shows you everything you need to know
• 10 electronic books
Now I know you are like why do I need a will, trust or any of these documents. Bottomline, because you just never know. For example, I'm single with no kids but I have a house in Atlanta. If I don't create a will the house would just go back to the bank. There may be someone in my family I want to will the house too. Or God forbid I get in to an accident, my family has no idea where I stand on wanting my organs donated or if I want to be taken off life support, etc., etc. I know no one wants to talk about/deal with these issues but if this economic crisis has taught us anything it's that at minimum we need to have some plan in place for the future because you just never know.
It's extremely easy to get the kit:
1. Go to Suze Orman.com
2. Click on Will & Trust Kit
3. Click on Gift Code
4. Enter "People First" in to the code area
5. You will immediately be given an activation code to start using her Will & Trust Kit
If you don't want to use the kit right away, just get the activation code so you can use it at a later date. Some things are happening in my family that I'll talk about in the coming weeks but I'll just say that an offer for a kit like this for FREE couldn't have come at a more appropriate time in my life.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
My X-mas Vacation
Remember when we were kids and we had to write essays like "What I did on my Summer Vacation." Well now that the holidays are over I can look back, fondly, on how I spent my Christmas Vacation.
X-mas Eve - the family came over and I cooked gumbo (traditional brown and red). We had a good time talking, laughing and watching movies.
X-mas Day - more food, more talking, laughing, listening to music and watching movies. My niece arrived from Ohio.
Day after X-mas - I went to see my chiropractor. Family can be a real pain in the neck...lol. But we were all pretty lazy that day. Ate leftovers and did more of the same.
Two days after X-mas - most of my family went home. My niece from Ohio stayed over and I made sure she got a beef patty (apparently there are none in Dayton, Ohio), we went to Dave & Busters, we went and saw the tree, we got cupcakes at Magnolia's, we ate at IHOP (there is no IHOP in Dayton...closest one is Cleveland).
Three days after X-mas - took my niece ice skating and then took her to Jersey to spend the rest of her break with the family over there. And so I could spend the rest of my vacation in solitude.
No offense to my family but after a long, hard year that ended more sour than I expected I was really just looking forward to a quiet staycation. Just me, at home, catching up on reading, watching a few movies and purging my apt.
Overall it was a good, long, Christmas weekend.
X-mas Eve - the family came over and I cooked gumbo (traditional brown and red). We had a good time talking, laughing and watching movies.
X-mas Day - more food, more talking, laughing, listening to music and watching movies. My niece arrived from Ohio.
Day after X-mas - I went to see my chiropractor. Family can be a real pain in the neck...lol. But we were all pretty lazy that day. Ate leftovers and did more of the same.
Two days after X-mas - most of my family went home. My niece from Ohio stayed over and I made sure she got a beef patty (apparently there are none in Dayton, Ohio), we went to Dave & Busters, we went and saw the tree, we got cupcakes at Magnolia's, we ate at IHOP (there is no IHOP in Dayton...closest one is Cleveland).
Three days after X-mas - took my niece ice skating and then took her to Jersey to spend the rest of her break with the family over there. And so I could spend the rest of my vacation in solitude.
No offense to my family but after a long, hard year that ended more sour than I expected I was really just looking forward to a quiet staycation. Just me, at home, catching up on reading, watching a few movies and purging my apt.
Overall it was a good, long, Christmas weekend.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Back On The Blog
What would it take for me to return to the blogosphere...you guessed it. A BLACK PRESIDENT! But since the focus of my blog is dating and relationships I'm going to talk about the relationships with family and friends.
First, yesterday was personally historic for me. Three generations of my family voted yesterday. I wish I could have gotten a picture of my mother, brother and myself in line at the polls early in the morning. Or my niece in Ohio voting in her first election. (Thanks Ohio!) Or my niece in NJ, also voting in her first election. Or my uncle in Virginia (we did win Virginia right?) Or all my other family members who are spread across the east coast that represented at the polling booths. Is there some kind of cliche I can insert here about families that vote together? Like a family that votes together don't go broke together...or something like that. If not, oh well...it was still a historic day for me personally.
Next, I gotta give some love to all my friends. From my friends that were with me (Heights Crew) when the announcement happened and understood why I could not stop crying. To my best friend in Chicago who was texting me from the rally. To my friends in Atlanta who were also feeling blessed despite Georgia electorate going the other way. To my facebook friends, the status message updates just say it all. To ALL my journo friends who kept the inbox over flowing. To Poppa K who was emailing me and by far he is the biggest Obama supporter I personally know.
I have to thank my American family. That's right, my fellow Americans. You helped to make Martin Luther King Jr's dream a reality. A dream deferred is now a dream realized. This was his dream and I am alive to experience it.
Last but not least I have to thank my ancestors. There are just so many people who I wish were alive to see this. My great grandmother who never talked about her family and there was a complete disconnect because she married a black man. My great grandfather, a self-educated business man, who never got to meet his full potential because of racism. My grandmother who experienced so much racism as a child and was the first person to talk to me about politics. My father who always said and believed some day there will be a black president.
Even now just thinking about how far black people have come, how far America has come, its an overwhelming joy. From 9/11/01 to Barack Obama in 08, who could have imagined this.
First, yesterday was personally historic for me. Three generations of my family voted yesterday. I wish I could have gotten a picture of my mother, brother and myself in line at the polls early in the morning. Or my niece in Ohio voting in her first election. (Thanks Ohio!) Or my niece in NJ, also voting in her first election. Or my uncle in Virginia (we did win Virginia right?) Or all my other family members who are spread across the east coast that represented at the polling booths. Is there some kind of cliche I can insert here about families that vote together? Like a family that votes together don't go broke together...or something like that. If not, oh well...it was still a historic day for me personally.
Next, I gotta give some love to all my friends. From my friends that were with me (Heights Crew) when the announcement happened and understood why I could not stop crying. To my best friend in Chicago who was texting me from the rally. To my friends in Atlanta who were also feeling blessed despite Georgia electorate going the other way. To my facebook friends, the status message updates just say it all. To ALL my journo friends who kept the inbox over flowing. To Poppa K who was emailing me and by far he is the biggest Obama supporter I personally know.
I have to thank my American family. That's right, my fellow Americans. You helped to make Martin Luther King Jr's dream a reality. A dream deferred is now a dream realized. This was his dream and I am alive to experience it.
Last but not least I have to thank my ancestors. There are just so many people who I wish were alive to see this. My great grandmother who never talked about her family and there was a complete disconnect because she married a black man. My great grandfather, a self-educated business man, who never got to meet his full potential because of racism. My grandmother who experienced so much racism as a child and was the first person to talk to me about politics. My father who always said and believed some day there will be a black president.
Even now just thinking about how far black people have come, how far America has come, its an overwhelming joy. From 9/11/01 to Barack Obama in 08, who could have imagined this.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Mother & Daughters
My sister just turned 50. It's a huge accomplishment to live that long. I wanted to do something special for the occasion. So I bought my sister and mom tickets to see the Color Purple on Broadway before it ends it's run. But before the show I took my sister and mom to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner.
It was the first time in a long time that all three of us were together. My sister and I haven't always gotten along especially in the last few years. But since her move to Maryland she is a lot happier and I'm happy for her. She was the sister I remembered the one who was always laughing and making others laugh but at the same time you knew she wouldn't take no crap. Today was one of those days I will cherish. It's about making memories and this will be a good one.
It was the first time in a long time that all three of us were together. My sister and I haven't always gotten along especially in the last few years. But since her move to Maryland she is a lot happier and I'm happy for her. She was the sister I remembered the one who was always laughing and making others laugh but at the same time you knew she wouldn't take no crap. Today was one of those days I will cherish. It's about making memories and this will be a good one.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Giving Back
How much do you appreciate your parents? All I have is my Mom and I may cop an attitude with her every now and then but at the end of the day I would do anything for her.
I grew up in the projects but my Mom worked hard, kept a nice home and I never felt like I lived in the projects. It really is one thing to live in the projects and to feel like you are living in the projects. I never really wanted for anything. I didn't always get what I wanted but I got enough and luckily I was never a kid in to name brands and stuff so Mom didn't have to stress about saving for some Jordan's or stuff like that. (For the record, I have never owned a pair of Jordan sneakers).
So I'm grown now and what are you supposed to do when you grow up...take care of your parents. But I have had so much debt I just never felt like I was in a position to help her. I finally got my finances in order...much love to Poppa K for sharing his financial knowledge and helping me to get my debt under control. Thanks to him I was able to give my Mom the best Holiday Season ever.
I started off small...I bought her some things she wanted but didn't really need...a rice cooker, new comforter/sheet set, some gloves, a new pair of boots...and then I hit her with the BIG present. I scheduled a Home Depot window consultation. They came to the house and I bought her windows. Yes...WINDOWS. You would not believe how expensive windows are but it was necessary. And I was just happy that I was finally in a position to do so. So my Mom is having the best Holiday Season ever...she can't wait for the installation of her windows...and of course she got all teary about me spending so much money...but it's for a good cause...it's for my Mom...she sacrificed for me so it's just time I give back.
So before you buy some small token of love for your parent(s) just think about all they have done for you through the years. It's great to get them things they want but might not need. But it's an even better feeling to get them something they need but they just can't afford.
I grew up in the projects but my Mom worked hard, kept a nice home and I never felt like I lived in the projects. It really is one thing to live in the projects and to feel like you are living in the projects. I never really wanted for anything. I didn't always get what I wanted but I got enough and luckily I was never a kid in to name brands and stuff so Mom didn't have to stress about saving for some Jordan's or stuff like that. (For the record, I have never owned a pair of Jordan sneakers).
So I'm grown now and what are you supposed to do when you grow up...take care of your parents. But I have had so much debt I just never felt like I was in a position to help her. I finally got my finances in order...much love to Poppa K for sharing his financial knowledge and helping me to get my debt under control. Thanks to him I was able to give my Mom the best Holiday Season ever.
I started off small...I bought her some things she wanted but didn't really need...a rice cooker, new comforter/sheet set, some gloves, a new pair of boots...and then I hit her with the BIG present. I scheduled a Home Depot window consultation. They came to the house and I bought her windows. Yes...WINDOWS. You would not believe how expensive windows are but it was necessary. And I was just happy that I was finally in a position to do so. So my Mom is having the best Holiday Season ever...she can't wait for the installation of her windows...and of course she got all teary about me spending so much money...but it's for a good cause...it's for my Mom...she sacrificed for me so it's just time I give back.
So before you buy some small token of love for your parent(s) just think about all they have done for you through the years. It's great to get them things they want but might not need. But it's an even better feeling to get them something they need but they just can't afford.
Monday, May 14, 2007
A Mother's Lifetime
I didn't realize all the things that I have been able to do in my short life time that my Mom has never experienced.
My Mom is the hardest yet the easiest person to get a present for. It's hard because any time you ask her what she wants she either doesn't want anything or wants something very simple. Like for Christmas all she wanted was a small AM/FM radio so she could listen to her soap operas while at work.
So this year, as every other year, I struggled with what to get her for Mother's Day. I could give her flowers...again...but flowers are so temporary. She loves them when she gets them but I think I have bought my mother enough flowers from 1-800-Flowers for her to have quite an impressive vase collection.
Skizzle suggested I cook for her. I love my Mom too much to do that. Anyone that knows my cooking abilities knows why I say that. But just taking my Mom out for a meal I didn't feel really did her justice. Plus my Mom is the type to say why go out to eat when I have food here and can cook.
I just couldn't figure out what to get her. And I have a pretty good reputation of being a good gifter...I always get the right thing or something really thoughtful that is just the right thing. For days I wracked my brain with what to do. And then it all came to me at once. My Mom loves fruit. She makes a smoothie every morning. But I didn't want to get her a regular fruit basket. So I bought her an edible arrangement.
And I always go home to get my nails done so I thought a manicure and pedicure for my Mom would be a nice addition. But little did I know my mother had never had a professional pedicure or manicure in her life. LIFE...do you understand the concept? In 67 years she had NEVER EVER EVER had something as simple as a professional pedicure and manicure. I just couldn't believe it.
I can't even describe her joy at getting a simple manicure and pedicure. She said ultimately all she wanted for Mother's Day was to spend the day with her daughter. (Why the heck she would want to spend a day with me as opposed to one of my other brothers and sisters is beyond me.) She got more than she bargained for.
But then I thought about all the things I have done, the places I have been, etc. that my Mom has never experienced. My Mom has never been on a plane so she has never been to most of the places I have been. My Mom has never bought a house...she inherited my grandparent's home. My Mom bought her first car two years ago. She always had cars but she never actually bought herself one, they were always used cars purchased from friends or family but never one straight from the dealership. My mom has never been on a cruise. She's a Knicks fan but has never been to a game at Madison Square Garden. There are just so many things my Mother has never experienced (too many things to list them all) and that I take for granted.
My Mother is a reminder of how good God has been to me. I have never had a lot but God has given me so much. Parents always say they want their kids to have more than they had and that has definitely happened for me.
My Mom is the hardest yet the easiest person to get a present for. It's hard because any time you ask her what she wants she either doesn't want anything or wants something very simple. Like for Christmas all she wanted was a small AM/FM radio so she could listen to her soap operas while at work.
So this year, as every other year, I struggled with what to get her for Mother's Day. I could give her flowers...again...but flowers are so temporary. She loves them when she gets them but I think I have bought my mother enough flowers from 1-800-Flowers for her to have quite an impressive vase collection.
Skizzle suggested I cook for her. I love my Mom too much to do that. Anyone that knows my cooking abilities knows why I say that. But just taking my Mom out for a meal I didn't feel really did her justice. Plus my Mom is the type to say why go out to eat when I have food here and can cook.
I just couldn't figure out what to get her. And I have a pretty good reputation of being a good gifter...I always get the right thing or something really thoughtful that is just the right thing. For days I wracked my brain with what to do. And then it all came to me at once. My Mom loves fruit. She makes a smoothie every morning. But I didn't want to get her a regular fruit basket. So I bought her an edible arrangement.
And I always go home to get my nails done so I thought a manicure and pedicure for my Mom would be a nice addition. But little did I know my mother had never had a professional pedicure or manicure in her life. LIFE...do you understand the concept? In 67 years she had NEVER EVER EVER had something as simple as a professional pedicure and manicure. I just couldn't believe it.
I can't even describe her joy at getting a simple manicure and pedicure. She said ultimately all she wanted for Mother's Day was to spend the day with her daughter. (Why the heck she would want to spend a day with me as opposed to one of my other brothers and sisters is beyond me.) She got more than she bargained for.
But then I thought about all the things I have done, the places I have been, etc. that my Mom has never experienced. My Mom has never been on a plane so she has never been to most of the places I have been. My Mom has never bought a house...she inherited my grandparent's home. My Mom bought her first car two years ago. She always had cars but she never actually bought herself one, they were always used cars purchased from friends or family but never one straight from the dealership. My mom has never been on a cruise. She's a Knicks fan but has never been to a game at Madison Square Garden. There are just so many things my Mother has never experienced (too many things to list them all) and that I take for granted.
My Mother is a reminder of how good God has been to me. I have never had a lot but God has given me so much. Parents always say they want their kids to have more than they had and that has definitely happened for me.
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