Must Have Something in my Roots

My name is Mia and I am a workaholic.

Several people in my family suffer from "Workaholism." Workaholism is the compulsion to work a lot and/or hold several jobs, positions, hustles whether you need to or not.

It originates with my father. I was really young when my Dad was alive so I don't remember all of his hustles but I do remember one of them being a tow truck driver. Daddy always did whatever he had to legally do to keep us above water. But workaholism is not necessarily genetic because my siblings and I don't have the same Dad yet they are clearly workaholics too.

My oldest brother might be the worst offender. He is a regional sales manager for TWO companies. And how he does it amazes me. He works out of the house and has 2 company cars, 3 company computers and just 1 cell phone (cause he said keeping track of 2 would be too much). In addition to 2 full time hustles he also has 2 part time hustles. He drives nurses around (home nursing service) and has a business with one of his friends where he cleans offices. And like that isn't enough to occupy his time he also coaches kids in basketball all year long.

My next brother just has a full-time job and one part-time hustle. He has always been the one in our family known as being a "Jew." No offense to Jews but if anyone can make a dollar out of fifteen cents, it's this brother. His ridiculous methods of cheapness has been fodder for family and friends for years.

And then there is me. All my life I have watched the people in my family hustle and the hustle bug finally bit me in high school. In addition to school and all those extracurriculars I worked part-time at a law firm and I hustled condoms at school. That's right...condoms. Back in my high school days people were too "scared" to go out and buy condoms. But I had a friend that worked at CVS and he would steal or get a discount on large quantities of condoms. He was my supplier. I would sell the condoms at school. My best days were Fridays. Everyone wanted condoms for the weekend. It was so ridiculous...all they had to do was go buy them themselves...but whatever...helped to pay my pager bill.

Growing up I always told myself I'm going to go to college so I can have just one job to pay the bills and not have to hustle. In college there were times where I had FOUR jobs. After college I can only think of a few years where I didn't hold down a full-time job and at least one hustle. Then I moved back to NYC. Why oh why did I do that? NYC is the hustler capital. There are so many opportunities here it's hard to not fall in to some kind of hustle.

When I moved back last year I was at the New York Times for about 3 months before I acquired a hustle...interning for Forbes magazine. That hustle came to an end and I was feening for my next hustle like a crackhead looking for their next hit. I switched up jobs completely and told myself, no more hustles. But in a few short months I had found my next hustle...hosting speed dating events.

Fast forward to today and I just acquired another hustle. I'll be working part-time for a company ALL journalists should know...mediabistro.com.

I suffer from workaholism not because I'm greedy. My workaholism is a by-product of debt. I just don't want to be in debt and hustling gets me extra money to pay off debt. My workaholism is also out of necessity. You can't imagine what it is like to have a mortgage in Atlanta and an apt in NYC. The housing market is so bad I just can't unload the house. And it's hard to keep a tenant in my place when this is a buyer's market. So my options are to either pay the mortgage every month or jack up my credit. I'd rather work 12 jobs and never sleep than jack up my credit because credit is easy to mess up and hard as hell to fix.

I have a financial goal in mind and as long as I keep my eyes on the prize and stay focused on my focus my workaholism will only be used for good and not evil purposes.

Heart of the Matter

If I had $100 for every time someone asked my why I was single I could pay off my student loans. But seriously I had a day where 5 totally unrelated people asked me some form of the same question. I'll go with the "cute" version..."How could your pretty tail be lonely?" EASILY!

Normally when I'm asked whatever version of the same question I have to refrain from rolling my eyes and sighing in frustration. But given the person that asked me hadn't talked to me in awhile I decided to not skim over an answer. And of course he asked a two part question, "What do you want in a man?" If I had $100 for every time someone asked me that question I could pay off all my credit cards.

I told him that he knows me and the kind of person that I am. I don't require a lot in the form of a man buying me things. But from a man what I do require is invaluable and once given can't be gained back. He said, "Virginity?" I died laughing at that one. I said, "No...time, attention, trust, emotional support, unconditional love and ultimately your heart. All concepts that are apparently too mature for the boys I meet. I'm ready to share my world not just my bed."

His response was, "Wow, you are growing up. I know that quality people are hard to find but they are out there. Just don't lower the bar. Trust me, it's better to wait for the right person then to get caught up and realize you were wrong."

But then he pissed me off. "You have grown a lot but you don't know what you want. You are still a baby. What you said is a good start but then you gotta deal with specifics."

Why did he say that? I have plenty of specifics: grounded, financial responsible, emotionally stable, driven, passionate, able to balance competing forces like work, family, friends and a relationship, belief in a higher power, compatible sex drive, similar values, similar interests, ready to grow with someone and I could go on and on.

After that all he could say was, "Wow, I am convinced." I know why I am single...blogged about that before. I know what I want...blogged about that before. I've been through enough hardships, heartbreaks, kissed enough toads, etc. to know who I am and what I want. I'm just tired of waiting for him to find me.

Turkey Bowler

Last night I went bowling with some of my coworkers and got my first Turkey...incredible...I know...unbelievable...I know...can I do it again...who knows. But I'm going to a singles bowling event on Thursday so I'll get to test my luck in more ways than one ;)

Something To Be Thankful For

Thanks Nike for so eloquently concluding the fiasco that has been Imus, Rutgers and the whole "nappy headed ho" thing:

Thank you, ignorance.

Thank you for starting the conversation.

Thank you for making an entire nation listen to the Rutgers team's story. And for making us wonder what other great stories we've missed.

Thank you for reminding us to think before we speak.

Thank you for showing us how strong and poised 18- and 20-year-old women can be.

Thank you for reminding a sports nation that another basketball tournament goes on in March.

Thank you for showing us that sport includes more than the time spent on the court.

Thank you for unintentionally moving women's sport forward.

And thank you for making all of us realize that we still have a long way to go.

Next season starts 11.16.07


And in the words of Forest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that."

What Happened to Dating?

I once posted an ad on Craig's List asking this very question. And I know I have blogged in the past on dating ideas. Apparently what has happened to dating is that people have gotten lazy and have lost creativity...they don't think outside of the box.

So here are some date ideas and some are actually free or cheap:

- Free movie screening or matinee (leaves the rest of the day to do something else)

- Every place has after work drink specials

- Most jobs give employees discounts to things around the city like museums

- Dinner, drinks and games at Dave & Busters and not expensive if you do the Power Combo...it comes with a $10 game card

- You can get half priced tickets to Broadway shows or go to an off Broadway show or even go to a community theater

- Walk across the BK bridge and talk and get to know each other while gazing at the beautiful skyline that is NYC

- Go bowling or play pool

- Take a salsa class together... A lot of places will offer the first trial class free

- Roam around a book store or a library

- Hit up a Starbucks or better yet a not-so-name brand coffee shop

- Share your MP3 collection with each other

- Roam around a part of town you have never roamed before... You never know where you could end up or what you might find, including about each other

- Summer is almost here and there will be PLENTY of street festivals

- Carnivals are another staple of summer

- Hit the beach...Jones Beach or Coney Island are not that far

- Go cart racing is always fun

- Share a hotdog as you walk around Central Park...An impromptu picnic would be an even nicer touch.

- Horse and carriage ride...every gir's dream

- Workout together. I avoid the gym because I don't know how to use the equipment but if someone offered to show me I would go.

- Make plans to cook something together. Even something as simple as baking a cake or cookies.

- Play miniature golf

- Watch the sunrise or sunset together

- Read a book aloud together. I prefer a Zane short story or even some poetry.

- Buy the ingredients to make an ice cream sundae, and create it together. Or if that is too much work, find the nearest Mr. Softee truck.

- Go to a comedy club. Everyone likes to laugh.

- Visit a museum

- Ascend to the top of the Rock or the Empire State building

- Go sightseeing...It's not just exclusive to tourists

- Take me out to the ballgame...Buy me an italian sausage, a soda and a carvel sundae in a Yankee cup

- Rent canoes and paddle around the nearest lake. I always wanted to rent a paddle boat on the Potamic

- Go to the zoo

- Visit the botanical gardens

- Play a board game

- Teach me how to play chess

- Drive some place close that you have never visited before

- Visit a bed and breakfast for a nice overnight getaway

- Go to a strip club together (not recommended for a first date)

I know I'm not the only one with ideas. Come on people....dating ideas? Now, if I can just find some dates to do all the things I have thought of.

Liar, Liar...Pants on Fire

I can deal with a lot of things. Lying is not one of them.

I had an ex that would lie to me about little, stupid, insignificant shit. And when I would catch him in these little "white lies" he never had a good reason for lying. And that would just piss me off to no end. Cause if you will lie to me about the little things you will lie to me about the big things.

I had another ex that was bold with the lying. This dude would look me in the eye and lie to my face. To me, that is the equivalent of someone spitting in my face. It's one thing (and still not the right thing) to lie to me on IM, email, text message, phone...whatever...but to look me directly in my face and lie to me is beyond disrespectful.

Too many people talk about keeping it real and always being honest. But that's some BS...cause if put in a situation where lying is an easy out most people would just choose to lie.

I don't know how many times I have to blog this, text this, chat this, discuss this if I tell you to be honest with me, not to lie to me, DON'T DO IT! I'm tired of people lying to me to supposedly protect my feelings. More BS. You ain't protecting my feelings you are looking out for your own ass. Let me worry about my feelings. Cause when I find out the truth and anyone who knows me knows I ALWAYS find out the truth it's going to piss me off even more. If you had told me from jump, I could have just thanked you for your honesty and walked away.

I had another dude that I was casually seeing. He later admitted there was more to the situation than he had initially told me. I was mad, don't get me wrong, but because he was honest with me I wished him the best and kept it moving. No drama, no arguing, no tears. He admitted to me something he should have made clear from jump but that was neither here nor there because at least he was now giving me necessary information so I could decide how to proceed.

I cannot make the right decision if I'm not being told the truth. If a person gets in to a situation that requires them to lie to me about it then they shouldn't have been in that situation in the first place. But don't lie to avoid the consequences. If you were bold enough to do what you did irregardless of possible negative outcomes, then face what's coming. Or at least give me the chance to walk away without feeling like you completely disrespected me.

I think this quote sums it up for me, "It is better to be told a hurtful truth than to be told a comforting lie."

Video Vixen

Y'all know how much I LOVE to dance. Dancing is my natural high. When I'm really stressed out option A is sex cause there is no better stress reliever. But a close second would be dancing. But my style of dancing is a blessing and a curse.

Dating in NYC has been hit or miss...more miss than hit. And I have tried everything from answering personal ads on Craig's list to Eharmony.com and everything in between. So someone suggested I try going to the club more. And said, "maybe if you didn't stand on poles the whole time, away from everyone you'd get hollered at."

I see his point and maybe it's just me, but I like to go to the club to dance not necessarily to meet guys. I must be one of the few people that can have a good ass time just dancing by myself especially if the DJ is good. Cause if a dude is on my ass or holding me I'm not free to really move.

Guys think that just because I dance like a stripper that they got a freak. If I really was a freak the guys I meet at clubs would never get close enough to me to find out. And the only bold guys at the club are the ugly, short ones. They are always the first ones that try to holla or get up on my ass.

Could I change the way I dance? Yes, but what's the point of that. I love to dance...I like to dance like the chicks you see in the videos and on the stripper poles. Why? Cause it's FUN!!! It makes me feel good. It's like the sexy inner diva makes her appearance.

The video vixen needs an outlet. Some place to dance where my style of dancing is appreciated and it's known that I'm just dancing. So I signed up for a hip hop dance class. And if I can pull off a good speed dating event between now and when classes start I'm going to enroll in a second class. This doesn't help my dating problem but it sure will make me feel good.

Affair, Adultery & Cheating

Silly question, because I guess it is all about semantics but what is the difference between having an affair, adultery and cheating? I hit the American Heritage Dictionary for answers.

Affair - A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.

Adultery - Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.

Cheating - To be sexually unfaithful

Not a clear distinction from one to the other and not sure a clear distinction can be made. None of these terms take in to account emotional cheating. I consider emotional cheating as to love the person you are with but be in love with someone else. You may never act on this feeling but the fact that your heart belongs to someone besides the person you are with is a crime.

So is there really a difference or is it all semantics?

Whose Got Next?

Would you rather know or not know the person your ex is going to date next? What if the person next was actually the person who had last? And what if the next was around while you were #1?

Hip Hop Musings

I'm working on a project at work so I've been listening to a lot of Launch. Here are some random thoughts the music has inspired.

Will Rich Boy be a one hit wonder? I mean...who names themselves Rich Boy before they are rich. And he is a funny looking dude...his face/head has an awkward shape.

I'm really feeling the song "Wouldn't Get Far" by The Game. The song makes me think of my trip to Vegas. At one point, when I was actually awake during the car ride MS played that song. Although the song lyrics have nothing to do with travelling the words "wouldn't get far" makes me think about how I almost didn't make it to Vegas.

Could Mims really make a million saying nothing on a track? I thought he was saying that to imply that he was a producer before he was a rapper or something. Kanye West could make a million saying nothing on a track. And why Mims got Remy Ma in his video like that is a good look?

If you have ever seen the "I'm a Flirt" remix video at the end a phone number flashes across the bottom of the screen. So I was tempted to see what I would hear when I called up. It's a recording with a few snippets off his upcoming album called "Double Up."

I think R. Kelly came up with the song i'm a flirt in one of my his many court appearances because the first verse says "I swear to tell the truth and the whole truth." Why does T. Pain's voice sound like Roger in the song "Computer Love." If I had a boyfriend T. Pain could not get my boyfriend mad. And I don't care how much R. Kelly would ever flirt cause I'd be scared to leave the club with him...he might piss on me...or worse.

Paying Myself First

The new year is underway and I'm hard at work on my resolutions. One of my resolutions is to pay off some credit cards. But a part B or 1a is to save some money as well.

I was inspired by an email I received from Queen T. She just started an ING Direct savings account and sent me an email. If I opened an account with $250 to start I would get a $25 bonus and she would get a $10 bonus. That was just the motivation I needed. But there are several good online savings accounts with higher interest rates. Two other good options are HSBC Direct and Emigrant Direct. I also opened an account with HSBC.

I remember going to a seminar called "Pay Yourself First" and in the seminar the lecturer said to see paying myself as another bill that I have to pay every month. That way you won't miss it and you will be saving. So for now, I'm having a samll sum automatically deducted from my checking each month and put in to each account. I know it isn't a lot but it is a good start given that I wasn't saving anything before. And I can still focus on paying off some of my credit cards.

If you are serious about paying yourself first too, send me an email. I can send you an invitation to join ING Direct and you too can get a $25 bonus.

Fall Back

How do you know when it's time to fall back from a relationship?

Too many times I hear people say they didn't end a situation when they should have...earlier on...before the other person cheated...before the other person admitted they were in love with their best friend (the same person you always suspected)...before the secret love letters found while doing laundry...before the missing condoms...before the 3am phone calls from "only friends"...before the coming home late or not coming home at all...before the lying began...before the snooping began...before the trust faded...before the person broke your heart.

Before all of this happens there are always signs that we should fall back and let it go...but why don't we? Why don't we use the common sense we were born with and fall back and then move on? Why can we advise our friends but when we find ourselves in the same situation we can't take our own advice? Do we stay and try to make it last because the thought of that person being with someone else or already having you replaced is more than your heart can bear?

One That Got Away

I blogged about this topic in my former life.

I found another interesting blog post on the topic:

"Have you ever Googled an ex? Have you ever wondered what happened to the first, the truest and/or the greatest love of your life?

Have you ever wanted to sit down with that person and ask: How often, if ever, do you think of me (and in what context)? Do you have any regrets? What do you think would have happened if we ended up together? Were we soul mates? If so, how could you move on to someone else so quickly, so easily and painlessly with someone else? Have you ever considered how that person would respond if and when you did contact (let’s say) her today? With dismissive laughter? A restraining order? Tears of joy?"

But I have some more questions on the topic:
- Are you the one that got away from someone...do you know it because they told you or you just feel it?

- Do you ever wonder if you are the one that got away from someone else?

- Has someone really gotten away from you if you are still able to communicate with them, see them, etc.?

- What was your reasoning for letting someone get away? Is that reasoning as valid today as when it happened?

- What if you reconnected with your one that got away and the feelings were just as strong as before but they were married, would you consider an affair? Or if your one that got away reconnected with you and you were married...would you consider an affair or even a divorce?

The one that got away is a very interesting topic to me. Because it calls in to question if you believe in the ideas of true love and soul mates and if you believe in having only one true love or soul mate.

NBA All Star Weekend

I arrived Friday morning around 4am and what did I do...go out of course. The anxiety of getting there mixed with the strip being all lit up I was ready to party.

My girls and I made a quick run to McDonalds which would be the late night eating spot every night. I told them to not feel bad about eating McDonalds this late because technically it was breakfast time on the east coast. I changed my clothes and I went over to MGM Grand just to walk around and see what was up.

My girls had been to Studio 54 earlier in the night and had gotten in to VIP thanks to Vince Young and his entourage. A little sad I missed out on that but more was yet to come.

Friday I was up and out by 11am. I hit the strip early to see what parties were going on that night and what I could get in for free or discounted. I ended up getting on the RSVP list for Pure but that night we came close but ended up some place different. For lunch I went to the buffet at Ceasar's at it wasn't that great. I think the best buffets in Las Vegas are at the Bellagio and Aladdin. Later that afternoon I got up with one of my girls from Carolina and we had a few frozen drinks and hit the tables. I spotted the Office Spouse and his crew...or I should say he spotted me...cause surely if he had kept on walking I wouldn't have noticed...that was the only sighting all weekend.

So the plan on Friday was to go to the So So Def party at Aladdin and if that wasn't popping head over to Pure. We get to Aladdin and there is a lounge in the middle of the casino and we go in there and chill for a minute. End up chilling with Chingy and his entourage. The So So Def party was wack, maybe because it was early, but we left and were headed over to Pure. Just as we were making our way to Pure a guy stops us and offers us free passes to Light. Light is one of my absolute favorite clubs in Vegas because they have 4 poles which allows a woman to let her inner stripper girl out. So we totally changed plans and headed over to Light. It was a mob scene outside of the club because Sprite was doing a promotional party for LeBron James and the release of his 3 commercials that users are supposed to vote on. Somehow we hooked up with some random white chick who seemed to know everyone at the door and we were in the club by 10:30pm. Well the Sprite party was not over and in fact was just getting started so we got up close and personal with LeBron...so close I could count the pimples on his face...he needs Proactive. We partied so hard that my feet have never, ever, ever hurt so bad.

The line to get a cab back to the hotel was ridiculous...so we chose to walk with no shoes on...at first. We got maybe a block away and a random cabby picked us up. It was the end of us his shift but he saw us struggling and picked us up. The cab ride was only $5 but we gave him $20 just because we were so thankful.

Saturday I was up and out early again, back on the strip people watching and trying to secure another party for our last night in Vegas. I got so much random free stuff on the strip...from LeBron t-shirts to a special poker chip that would get me and the girls in to a party at the Empire Ballroom for free to magazines and CD's. We went shopping, or in my case window shopping cause y'all know I hate shopping and celebrity watching. There were so many celebrities every where and they were just mixed in with us regular folks. There were honestly too many celebrities to name them all.

Saturday night we are looking cute, of course, as we waited in line to get in to LeBron's party at the Empire Ballroom. After waiting for an hour, which was an hour later than the get in free poker chip was supposed to work, someone comes out and makes an announcement that they are having sound problems but they would still honor the chip. Now there was a VIP line where people paid $150+ for advanced tickets and $300+ for VIP. I might have had to wait in line but those VIP's looked stupid paying for the same party I was getting in to for free. We partied in line and had a good time laughing, talking and of course drinking. I had never been to the Empire Ballroom before and it is actually a nice venue. We paid a security guard $20 each and was able to go in and out of the VIP area at our leisure.

It wouldn't be Vegas if someone didn't get drunk off their ass and for once that person was not me. When one of my girls came over and took a shot of a dark liquor and a light liquor me and the guys I were talking to gave each other the "she's going to be spending the evening in the bathroom" look and we were right. But her getting sick didn't ruin the night just added to the experience. When the vomiting was under control we sent her back to the casino with some random guy in a Ferrari...I know, sounds dangerous but it worked...and we stayed and partied for another hour or so.

The trip went by so fast it was like a blur but honestly I couldn't have stayed another day. I got a terrible cold and I needed a day at home just to recover before I went back to work. Las Vegas you can only take in small doses because too many days in Sin City might kill you.

All in all it was a great weekend. I met some really nice guys no matter where I was but of course no one I would keep in touch with. Saw some people I hadn't seen since graduating from school. And all in all it was exactly what I expected. It was the most black people I have ever seen in one place and that is saying a lot since I have been to Essence Fest and Bayou Classic in New Orleans as well as lived in one of the blackest cities in the USA...Atlanta. It was also women dressed like they were going to the club even though it was 1 in the afternoon. There were the GQ guys and the thug guys and just a little bit of everything in between.

But if you weren't paying attention 1st night I paid nothing to party and second night I paid nothing initially to party and then $20 to the bouncer. So I partied my ass off in Las Vegas for $20. I am so glad I didn't buy tickets in advance for any of the parties that were being advertised on the internet.

I will be going to New Orleans. I'm already making plans. I hope the NBA does All Star weekend in Vegas again, and soon before my days of travelling across country to party my ass off are over.

Birthday Wish

I can't believe my birthday is a week away. As usual I don't have anything planned. But I did make sure to take the day off so if all I want to do is sleep the day away I can.

Y'all know me...I don't want or ask for a lot. If I get something I'm always appreciative. If I don't get anything, I'm still happy to be alive and live to see another year.

But if you are wondering what to get the birthday girl I can only think of three things I want:

1. A watch
I'm tired of not knowing what time it is when I'm on the subway and I can't get the time on my cell phone because there is no service underground.

2. Earrings
I seriously need some gold earrings. If I don't start wearing some earrings again my upper holes will close. I can only wear gold earrings cause I'm allergic to everything else.

3. Digital Camera
I feel like I've missed out on capturing so many moments in my life. So despite the fact that I really do hate taking pictures I need to keep record of some of my memories.

Special request of my ATL friends, if y'all are so inclined, I would really LOVE some bottles of that wine Smoochie had at our Turkey Day dinner. And one of those nice wine openers so I don't have to sneak in to Mz. B's crib and steal hers ;)

If nothing else be sure to wish me Happy Bday on my bday.

I MUST Love This Game

Commissioner David Stern...if you are reading this...no one loves this game more than I do. For months I have been so hyped about going to Las Vegas for NBA All-Star weekend. And with one snow storm my dreams were about to be snowed under.

The original plan was to fly out to Vegas on Valentine's Day to get there before the crowds and celebrate loving me on the day of love. Thanks to the snow storm that hit NYC on V-day eve my plans were blown to hell.

Valentine's morning I was checking the status of my flight online every 10 minutes. My flight was at 12:29 and I held out until 11:00am before I finally left for the airport. Just as I pulled up to Laguardia my cell phone rings. It's an automated message from American telling me my flight was cancelled. Why didn't they call me 30 minutes ago? I could have stayed home and been on the internet and the phone figuring out how to fix my travel plans.

I stayed at the airport for 3 more hours trying to figure out how to get out on a flight that day or the next day. Everything was a bust. No flights available until Saturday night. The airline refunded my ticket and the hotel I was staying at refunded my one night stay. I sadly took the bus home, because the cab line was too long at the airport and I was ready to unpack and go back to my daily grind.

But thanks to my indescribable office spouse, he would not let me give up. There just has to be a way.

He was able to catch a flight out of Newark on Continental to Los Angeles and was going to drive with his boys to Vegas. He told me if I could get to LA I could ride with his boys to Vegas. So there was still hope.

I got home at 3pm and was on the phone and the internet for 4 hours trying to figure out how to get to L.A. or Las Vegas. Around 7:30pm a solution finally came and my Vegas adventure was about to begin. Get to Las Vegas or die trying...lol...well not die but try my hardest.

I caught a 10pm Amtrak train to BWI airport. I got to the airport around 1am and had to sleep on a bench in the airport. Luckily I brought my neck pillow with me and there were other stranded passengers in the airport so the airline gave us sodas, snacks, pillows and blankets (the skinny airline kind). By 5am I was in line and checking my bag on Southwest to LAX. My flight was supposed to leave at 9:30am with a layover in Phoenix and I would land in LA at 2:45pm. Due to flight delays I got bumped to an earlier non-stop flight that was departing at 9am. I was supposed to land in LA at 12 noon but actually landed at 11:30am. So things were starting to look up.

I caught a shuttle to the apartment of my office spouse's friend in Pasadena. Of course the office spouse (and everyone else) thinks I'm crazy on the regular but even more crazy for travelling by plane, train and automobile to get to Vegas. I had been on the go since 7:30am on Wednesday morning and it was now 1:30 Thursday afternoon or 4:30 for y'all east coast folks. The office spouse said it was time for me to chill and relax after all I went through. So we went and got some lunch and sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Eating lunch outside, in the sun, in the middle of February. ONLY on the west coast. After lunch I took a shower, handled some business on the internet and took a nap. My journey was almost complete.

By about 11:30pm (2:30am EST) we were on the road to Vegas. I arrived at the casino I was staying at about 4am and that is when the real adventure began.

I think this blog is long enough so you'll have to wait for part two. But I gotta close with some thank you's and shout outs.

Commissioner Stern - after reading my adventure if this does not prove that I love this game I don't know what else does. For my effort I should get tickets to all the NBA All-Star festivities in New Orleans next year.

Office Spouse - What would I do without you? This weekend would have never been able to go down without you.

MC - thanks for letting me crash on the Wash U couch and for letting me get comfortable in your crib like it was my own home.

Story - Next time you are on the right coast I promise to take you anywhere you want to go.

All the people I met on the train, in the airports, on the planes - thanks for adding to the adventure. Everyone has a story to tell and y'all each added to mine (although too many side tales to add to this blog).

Second Date

First dates are easy to come by. You go on a date and either you click or you don't. But because first dates are so easy to come by, second dates are a little harder to have.

I don't take any potential suitor seriously until we have been on a second date. But how many dates does it take for you to know if you are feeling someone?

I'm giving this internet dating thing another try because conventional dating, whatever that means, has not worked for me. I met this really nice guy and we have a lot of similar interests but our schedules, location and preferred modes of communication pose a serious challenge to getting to know each other.

I met him through a Craig's List ad and after our first date he said he would take the ad down. I advised him against that. I said you never know who you will meet and you should not put all your eggs in one basket. But after our second date he reposted his ad. Part of me wanted to be offended but a larger part of me really didn't care that deeply. But I sent him an email teasing him about his repost and I must have hit a nerve. It was like he felt guilty about posting and he went on and on about how he would like to get to know me better if I would only make the time.

He's a nice guy...a great guy...just not sure if he is great for me. We have a good time when we do hang out but I don't feel that desire to make time. You know that feeling that no matter how busy your schedule is you are going to find time to see that person. I don't have that feeling. But how do you tell someone, in a nice way, I think you are cool but I don't see this going anywhere and yet still remain cool with the person? Oh well, I guess it's back to the Craig's List ads for me.

First Speed Dating Event

My new side hustle for 2007 is hosting speed dating events around Manhattan for Cupid.com.

I held my first event on Monday at this great location called Fashion 40 Lounge. There were 27 people, 14 women and 13 guys. It was a good looking group and pretty diverse although still majority white. But everyone had a really good time and the venue was happy with the money they made from the bar. I already have 3 more events booked for the coming months with Fashion 40 so I think I'm off to a great start.

I know some of you are like why in the hell would you sign up to do something like this and what kind of people speed date? Well I'll ask the last question first. Busy professionals are the people that sign up for speed dating. They are tired of the bar/club scene and they have busy and demanding careers that doesn't leave much time to find a mate and date. So with speed dating they can meet potential dates for about the same price they would spend going seeking at a bar or club. And I'm talking good looking people with really good jobs.

So why did I decide to do it? Hosting speed dating events totally fits with my personality. And anyone who read my blog when I worked for the AJC knows dating, relationships and sex is a topic I like to talk about. Helping people meet people is right up my alley.

My first year in NYC was all about adjusting and getting settled but not really about going out and dating. Now I have a very good excuse for going out and I'm getting to know a lot of owners and managers at various venues throughout the city. I'm a people person and I get to meet so many people doing this. And even though I am hosting I have gotten hit on a few times which falls in line with me wanting to date more in 2007.

Last but definitely not least is I get to have fun and make a little money on the side. When I say little I mean I'll never be able to quit my job and do this full time. This side hustle is going to help me to achieve one of my 2007 resolutions because chump change does add up.

If I wasn't an event coordinator I would have probably attended a speed dating event just for fun. I'm pretty open to trying new things. And we all know that if what you have been doing in the past has not worked then it's time to do something different.

Anyone in NYC wants to give speed dating a try, let me know...I promise to give you a very nice discount and on some occassions I might be able to get you in for free.

Just To Get By

Excuse me y'all. I just gotta take a moment out to rant about something that is on my mind and on my heart.

I'm tired y'all...just tired. I'm tired of this race called life. Cause no matter how hard you work to get ahead it just seems like you never really get ahead.

I went to college...why...because I was always told/taught that going to college is how you become successful. And I got a degree...for what? Cause I was supposed to and they say you'll make more money. Whatever, I'll be paying student loans for as long as I'll be paying a mortgage for that degree that is supposedly going to make me successful and help me to make more money.

All my life I've been working to get ahead so I could help my family and I'm still not in a position to do that. So what's the point? Should I get on welfare and section 8 housing so I can coast through life not giving a shit. Poor and lower income folks may not have a lot but they get by...I work every day and I'm still just getting by so who really has the right plan. I'm tired of busting ass to just get by.

I don't want to be rich. By no means is obtaining large amounts of money my goal. Cause like Biggie said, more money, more problems. I have always said I just want to get to a position of comfort. So when I want to go on vacation I can just go. When my family needs some financial help, I don't even have to think twice. Where every month I'm not "figuring out" how to pay the bills.

I'm a self proclaimed hustler...don't get me wrong. Everyone, even folks with money, hustle. But when you hustling for survivial even the hustler can get tired of having to hustle. Anyone feeling me on this?

Fresh Direct

The last place anyone would ever expect to find me is a grocery store. I live around the corner from a grocery store. Walk past the grocery twice a day, every single day. But I could literally count the number of times I have actually been in that grocery store. And with Fresh Direct I don't EVER have to go grocery shopping again.

I don't know what it is about grocery stores but every time I step foot in one I feel like I'm Alice in Wonderland. I never know where anything is and even if I have a grocery list to get myself organized I'll end up going down the same aisles two or three times because I didn't realize several items on my list were in the same aisle. Whenever I have gone grocery shopping I spent HOURS in the store and bought way more than I intended to buy.

But now I buy my groceries online and life could not be better.

A year ago if someone had told me I would be buying my groceries online I would have laughed at them. I had this perception of online grocery shopping as being lazy, costly and just boogie. Why should I pay someone to get my groceries? But my perception was all wrong.

Online grocery shopping is not lazy but efficient. I just did a time management webinar today and one of the time saving tips was to buy your groceries online. You won't waste time "window" shopping and picking up unnecessary items.

Shopping online for groceries costs the same and sometimes even less. At least with Fresh Direct they have sales all the time and every week there are "President's Picks" in which the company president picks like 10-20 items to charge 50% off...I have caught specials on shrimp, crab cakes, meat, already cooked meals, etc. And delivery is only $5. So you mean all I have to do is pay someone $5 to pick up all my groceries and deliver them to my door as opposed to lugging them myself? The service alone is worth more than $5. Fresh Direct also has incentives for newbies like $25 off your first two orders. So for the last few months I have just been signing up using different email addresses so I can get the discount. The minimum order is $40. I can get $40 of food for $15 plus delivery. That sounds like free food to me and I like getting free stuff...especially food.

Now some of my friends do tease me and say that I have gotten boogie...that I think I'm too good for the grocery store. On the contrary, I'm just all about saving time because as we all know time is money. So instead of spending hours in the grocery store I could be doing something productive or heaven forbid doing something fun.

I like online grocery shopping so much I'm thinking about trying other online grocery stores like Amazon and yourgrocer.com. Now you'll have to excuse me as I have some groceries to put away.

This email was inspired by yet another delivery straight to my door from Fresh Direct.