2006 American Music Awards

You know you are a blogger when it is second nature to sit at your computer and type initial thoughts/reactions to an awards show. I haven't blogged in like a week and now I feel the immediate need to blog. So here's my recap of the entire show.

First off, why do we have the American Music Awards? What distinguishes it from the Grammy's? Is it more exclusive? Last time I checked winning an AMA does not increase record sales but winning a Grammy does.

Why did the American Music Awards start off so slow? How you gonna have Beyonce open with a slow song and immediately follow with Carrie Underwood and her medley of 3 of her songs. I wanted to see Beyonce do some of her signature dancing...so clearly I was disappointed.

Jimmy Kimmels opening was not bad but he spent too much time talking about Snoop. I thought the K. Fed spoof was kind of funny but then it become clearly fucked up when the first presenter was his soon to be ex-wife Britney Spears.

Is it me or does it seem like Mariah's album came out like 2 years ago...so why is she still being nominated for awards. Was glad that Mary J. Blige won.

Next presenters I missed their intro so was that the Cheetah Girls or 3LW the 2.0 version?

I love the Pussycat Dolls song...I didn't like their first single...and you know I love the dance in the video...so I was disappointed in the performance. Why was one cat missing, one cat fucked up the chair portion of the dance and when the mysterious missing cat did appear she sounded like a dying cat? And why didn't Snoop perform with the Pussycat Dolls?

Am I the only one that hasn't seen High School Musical?

The Black Eyed Peas did not have any competition in the best group category.

Jimmy Kimmel's Black Eyed Peas/Kramer joke was not funny. But at least he had jokes based on recent/current events.

Nelly Furtado...why was she up on a pedestal doing nothing? And what was up with the sound effects guy? As my sister Kee Lo Lo so eloquently put it he looked like our brother Unk T doing something he would do just to annoy/provoke laughter out of the crew.

Why did some awards have no set up video intro like whatever award Eminem won and wasn't there to accept? It went so fast I didn't even catch what award it was. Did they do that to save time in the shows broadcast for performances and for winners that were actually there?

What was up with all the wind blown hair every time a female performed?

I think they cut out the video introductions of nominees to save time because they kept doing that throughout the show even if the winner was seated in the audience. Country band/duo/group...Who cares? I don't.

Never heard of Snow Patrol...Yes I'm one of the few people in the world that does not watch Grey's Anatomy...But I liked the song/performance. Maybe I will now be inspired to spend my X-mas vacation catching up on past seasons of Grey's Anatomy so I can see what all the hub bub is all about.

Gwen Stefani is always on some other stuff. But I gotta respect her individuality and creativity...I mean she had us spelling banana and liking it...so I don't expect any less from her. And she kept her Asian chicks so that was not a one album phase. Two most memorable lines from her performance: "From the back..but don't let him ride." "Does he know how to wind you up?"

Then to follow up with Jay-Z!?!??! The back to back performances at least kept stuff flowing but the pairing of who would perform after who was a little odd. Beyonce was real hype for her man in the front row and throwing up the diamond. And that random guy in Jay-Z's performance was dancing real hard...like harder than I can ever dance...and that's saying a lot. I wonder how his album sales were today since most of us aggins downloaded it about a month ago.

Red Hot Chili Peppers had a very interesting acceptance to not even be at the show.

The Diana Ross look on Vanessa Williams must have been to get us ready for Dreamgirls. And a note on the Kay Jewelers sponsorship of a lounge or something...I'll take anything from Kay BUT an engagement ring. Just a word to the wise in case anyone plans on popping the question.

Flavor Flav as the adopted baby was hilarious...and he broke his clock.

Who was Jamie Foxx holding hands with? Cause when the camera shot to him during the Flavor Flav moment he was ready to fall out his chair but was holding some woman's hand tight.

Sean Paul was not paying attention so clearly he didn't want the award.

Kimmel had to have a follow up Flavor Flav joke about him and his soon to be 8 kids.

OK...so who is the fat chick sitting next to Jamie Foxx that was holding his hand...when he won the award we clearly saw who she was and she was not someone MzB would be friends with. I hope the woman with the weave was his mother he ain't seen in years and not the other chick.

Why was Sharon Stone a presenter? She was clearly cold or at least that is what her nipples indicted. Dixie Chicks was a chance to take a bathroom break and copy edit what I had written.

Tenacious D...I want Jack Black to just give it up...Rock School was a funny movie but give it up. I'm not going to see the movie and it's not going on my Netflixs list and that is saying a lot coming from someone like me that will watch ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. I have watched some of the worst movies ever in the hopes that by the end of the movie it would redeem itself and not even I will give this movie half a chance.

Because of the pairing of Mary J. Blige after Tenacious D I almost missed the performance. I was feeling her gold boots and it made me think of the Quo's...you know how gold boots are a turn on for them. I didn't buy or download Mary's last album so I didn't know the song she sang. Unfortunately I'm one of those people that loved the cracked out and depressed Mary J. Blige. Her songs from that time in her life just touched a place within me..."My Life" will always be my favorite Mary album...she could come out with 20 more albums I will always LOVE "My Life."

Kirk Franklin had no competition in his category. I LOVE that CD. I used to listen to that first single, "Looking for You," every morning as I drove to and from work when I lived in Atlanta. It would just get me hype.

The Lionel Richie flashback showed me where P. Diddy got his inspiration for shiny suits. And I was glad to see Nicole Richie has gained a few pounds back. I like his song and it was nice that everyone stood up for his performance. He took us back in time...nice trip down memory lane with "All Night Long".

Fall Out Boy was another performance that I could use as a potty break. But for the record running up the aisle to the stage is not a great way to start your performance.

I agreed with Kimmel's joke about what a rapper does when a country singer is performing...they are on their sidekicks and blackberry's.

Is Carrie Underwood the most successful American Idol winner?

At least I had or think I had heard the Rascal Flats song before. But if life is a highway I'm not sure if I want to ride it all night long.

It was nice of Jamie to dedicate his performance to Gerald Levert and his family. And it was one of the best if not the best performance of the night. He looked good, sounded good and I love that song. He got me teary...that's the sign of a good performance with me.

And I was actually ok with Kimmel's transition joke.

Text-in award...I didn't even know they were having a text-in award.

Carmen Electra introducing Barry Manilow...ok...why is he even performing? I swear him and Tony Bennett are preserved with formaldehyde.

Black Eyed Peas just kept on winning...last I counted it was three wins.

And I like this John Mayer song...but I refuse to wait on the world to change...I'm just going to keep on progressing. I got hooked on this song because of CSI.

I like Chamillionaire and Weird Al together...Riding Dirty and White and Nerdy...but I thought they were going to present an award.

How does Akon and Snoop qualify for show finale status? Still shocked at the pole dancers on network TV. Didn't Akon's album come out today as well. What idiot thought it was a good idea to put his album out the same day as Jay Z? But I was feeling the dance moves...gonna have to YouTube the performance. Akon is all over the radio in NYC...I don't know about the rest of the country.

Tyrese aka Black Tie...he needs to give up on the rap cause only his love songs really hit.

But the show did end on a good night with Mary J. Blige winning her second AMA of the night.

Throughout the show there were some sound tech issues. You would hear random scratching and static and stuff. And the cameramen kept fucking up.

Is it me or do less and less actual winners show up at the AMA? So what's the point of having the AMA's...for advertisers? The AMA's are losing their luster.