Caring For Mom

Once a month I have one of my boy's Mom's come to my apt to clean. She is a retired nurse and just wanted something to do. Well several months ago, before I hired her, I had asked my Mom to clean my place once a month and I would pay her. She said HELL NO!!! I work a full-time job and I have my own house to maintain, hire a maid.

Well my Mom's situation has changed. So one of the first things I offered to her after she got laid off is if I could hire her to clean my place. For some reason she was insulted by my request. So I said FINE, I'll give the money to someone else, excuse me for wanting to pay my Mom to provide me a much needed service. Of course if my Mom needed $100 I would give it to her but I also know that she is the type that doesn't want, like or will accept handouts. I thought cleaning my house was a fair swap. She does it to my nephew all the time. She will pay him to do things for her so what's wrong with me paying her to do something for me?

What I'm learning about my Mom is that she has a very hard time accepting what I say or tell her to do the first time I say it. It's like she has to take a survey of people she knows before she will accept that I'm right. So a few days after I made this offer one of the women that was laid off with her called to check-in. She told her that her sister had made her a similar offer and she jumped on it. Why should that money go to someone else when I need it? My Mom relented. She told her former co-worker that her daughter had offered her the same deal but she had turned it down. Her co-worker laughed and so did my Mom. She realized that she had to get over herself and this wasn't about pride.

My Mom calls me and asks, "So when do you want your place cleaned?" I said excuse me, I thought you said you didn't want to clean my place. So she told me the story I just told y'all. And I'm learning that as her and I move forward through her situation she will need time. What I think might be a great idea she may not be convinced on and just needs time and sometimes someone else to talk to about it before she says yes or no.

When she did come to clean my place she got off easy. Because when I have the maid come I don't stay in the apartment and I don't help her. But my Mom got $100 and an assistant. We cleaned my place together. I did leave for a bit to go to the gym so we wouldn't be in each other's way (or get on each other's nerves). Also as a kid it was always best if I stayed out of her way when she was cleaning. Apparently as an adult that rule still holds true. Not the quality time I would prefer but my Mom likes that kind of thing. She thinks any time spent together is quality time.