Mom Says Thank You

It's been a few weeks and my Mom is adjusting to her new life as a semi-retiree. She still wants a job but during the day she is spending a lot of time at church. She will go to prayer service and to programs for the unemployed that are held at church.

Being a caregiver can be a thankless and stressful job. I don't think my Mom and I have argued this much since I was a teenager. But in the end things work out I just wish it didn't have to get to the point of an argument to finally reach a solution.

Despite losing her job I think my Mom is extremely thankful. Going to church and seeing how bad some people have it she realizes she is one of the "lucky" ones. Her home is paid for so all she has to worry about is property taxes and home insurance. My brother is doing renovations to her home so she got a new bathroom and the new kitchen is almost complete. She doesn't take that many daily medications so the prices are reasonable and it will be easy to get her on a Medicare Part D prescription plan. She has very little debt; just a car note and a few credit cards to pay off. But I think my Mom is most thankful for me.

One day I snapped at her because she said she hadn't pulled her credit in years. I pull my credit once a year so to tell a person like me that she hadn't looked at her credit in years was the equivalent of saying she had spent her life savings on 1 lottery ticket. So when I snapped at her she said, "Luckily I have a daughter who thinks about those things so I don't have too." Touche.

Well one day we were talking and she said thank you. She acknowledged that it hasn't been easy but she is lucky to have a daughter that is so smart and always on top of things. She said, "I just hope when you get to be my age that you have someone looking out for you like you take care of me." I hate sappy moments so I made a joke. "I thought I didn't have a choice." But even if I did have a choice of course I would choose to help my Mom.

I really think going to church and the various programs and watching the news and seeing how other people are struggling and they don't have someone to help them figure things out made her realize that even though I can be a bitch I really mean well.

So I'm hoping this realization on my Mom's part will lead to more open discussions and less battles.