Goals for 2008 Recap

Here's a look back on what were my goals for 2008 and how well I did or didn't do.

FINANCES
1. Increase my 401K contributions - did not happen
Given the state of the stock market I decided to just continuing contribution 6% of my salary and not increase it to 10%. My Personal Rate of Return from 01/01/2008 to 12/31/2008 is -45.3%. I don't have money to lose like that so I'm just going to keep steady but increasing my contributions is just not a good option. I'll stick to maxing out the company match

2. Rainy Day Fund - took a serious hit
I had one too many rainy days so the growth of my rainy day fund took a serious hit. I went through several months of problems with my house in Atlanta where I had to go through several evictions so I had to use my rainy day fund to pay the mortgage. I'm hoping that now I have a stable, reliable tenant in my home I can resume building my rainy day fund.

3. Pay Down Debt - on track but didn't beat the deadline
I wanted to have my debt consolidation loan paid off by December 2008 but again the issues with my home in Atlanta prevented me from doing this. But I'm not discouraged. It will be paid off by September 2009, the original end of the loan date. Maybe I will be able to pay this off a few months sooner than 9/09 but again I'm not disappointed or discouraged. I know when the end is near and I can even circle the calendar on my date. Beating the deadline is just part of me being Type-A.


CAREER
I changed jobs in January from Sports Illustrated to InStyle but career goals remained the same.

1. Enroll in management classes and training programs - I did it
I actually was selected for a management training program through my company, Time Inc. I took one class in the series but because of financial concerns the classes have been put on hold. I'm going to look in to other management training programs outside of the company.

2. Classes, classes and more classes - took more Mediabistro classes but not ones outside of MB
I took a lot of classes through Mediabistro.com. And as long as I keep working there I hope to take more. I didn't end up taking the writing class at the New School but maybe I can enroll some time in 2009.

3. Take control of my workaholism - 50% achieved
This is probably not the time to be quitting gigs, even if they are part-time. But earlier this summer I finally quit the speed dating job and it was such a huge relief. I had to work so hard for the money I made and I honestly don't miss it. I just adjusted my spending. I've transitioned at Mediabistro in to teaching online classes. I hope to do more of that in 2009. But as a result of the economy my hours as a night assistant have been cut in half. I am contemplating quitting the night assistant position to focus on the teaching. But we'll see about that because I am such a workaholic I always have to fill my time with money making opportunities.

4. Get Published - I didn't even try
I have resumed blogging on a more regular basis but I gave up completely on trying to write and get published. The industry is shrinking so I'll leave the freelancing to those who are passionate about it and have the time to focus towards doing a good job at it.

HEALTH & FITNESS

1. Get back in shape - did not achieve
Santa got me a Wii for Christmas so now I don't have to spend money on a wasted gym membership. So I didn't exercise much in 2008 but I know I will in 2009.

2. Keep on cooking - I did but I know I can do even more
I am proud of how much cooking I did this year. It was a heck of a lot more than in 2007. So I'm happy with my progress on this and I want to do even more cooking in 2009.

3. Read more books - did not happen
In 2007 I read 15 books and in 2008 I thought I could fit in 30 books. But I read the exact same number as the year before. For me it's hard to balance reading the newspaper every day with reading books. Then throw in all the free magazines I get from my job and it gets overwhelming. So I read a lot but I didn't read all the books I intended to read. I'm going to try again in 2009.

If I had to give myself a grade for how I progressed on my goals in 2008 I would give myself a "C." I made progress on some things but I know me and I know I can do better and I can do more.

What resolutions/goals did you have for 2008? Did you achieve them? Check back tomorrow for my goals for 2009.

Staycation & New Year's Eve

I'm doing my first staycation and I just can't seem to relax. I made a list of all the things I want to accomplish while I'm home for a week. Some of the things on the list are fun like finish reading a book and watch some movies. But the rest is about getting organized for the new year. I'm trying to clean, organize and purge. Gotta make room in my life for new things to enter.

Also I have NO PLANS for New Year's Eve. I know that is pretty shocking to everyone because I usually do it big. But I have had such a good year I really think I'm just going to stay home. Enjoy the fact that I'm happy and healthy. At home I have all the comforts I need from food and drinks to the tv and radio.

As this year has proven nothing is guaranteed. Job security is just not what it used to be. I have no idea if I will still have the job I currently have in 2009. Plus I have a problem spending $175 for a place I can normally get in for free or for $10 or $20. Given the current state of the economy I just can't justify the expense.

Anyone else off this week? What do you have planned? What are you doing for New Year's Eve?

All That Ails Me

I'm only 28 years old but my health and fitness is a big concern for me.

I have scoliosis, a medical condition in which a person's spine is curved from side to side, and may also be rotated. I also have serious muscle spasms. Stress builds up in the muscles in my shoulders and back. So as a result of these two conditions I see a chiropractor and physical therapist twice a week. But don't feel too bad for me. Words can't describe the relief I feel when I get my bones adjusted. And I get a medical massage that is covered by insurance. I just have to make my insurance co-payment. Do you know anywhere else you can get a great 30 minute massage for $15?

I also have had allergies and asthma for most of my life. I'm tired of suffering because of my allergies and asthma. So I'm doing something about it. I now get an allergy shot twice a week. I have to get the shots for 4-6 months but after this initial treatment I'll only have to go once every 6-8 weeks. It is worth it to me so I won't get sick when I go over my friends apartments that have pets. I won't have to avoid cut grass anymore.

But my biggest concern is doctor's fatigue. Doctor's fatigue is when I reach a point that I get so tired of going to the doctor that I miss appointments and stop making new appointments.

In 2009 I'm really going to try to focus on my health and fitness. I'm getting near the end of my 20's and it's only down hill from here so I have to get on top of this now.

What are you doing about your health and fitness? What do you plan to do differently in the New Year?

Kicking the Coke Habit

Several times I have blogged about My Coke Rewards habit. I'm down to my last caps and I think I can kick the habit for good.

I knew my addiction was a problem when I would see a coke cap in a garbage can. I would look around, look around if no one would see me, I would take the cap and get to the nearest sink to wash the cap (and of course my hands). It used to actually bother me to think about all the coke caps that get wasted every day.

But I can actually thank Delta for me finally deciding that it's just not worth it to collect and enter codes anymore. I initially joined to get Skymiles to feed another one of my addictions, travel. But Delta stopped offering miles about a year ago. And I kept collecting in the hopes they would come back but they haven't. So I'm entering my last codes. I have 2 accounts so if I enter 20 codes a day I can be done with this by the new year.

Even after I finish entering I'm not sure what I'll spend my points on because the rewards aren't quite as rewarding as travel miles. My top options are:
- $20 Omaha Steaks Gift Card (I LOVE Food)
- 30 free 4X6 prints from Snapfish (I always take and upload photos but prints are becoming a lost art.)
- Donation to the USO (100 coke points can equal a $5 donation to support our troops)
- Rent one blockbuster movie and get one for free (help to supplement my dvd watching between Netflixs shipments)
- One month membership to Rhapsody Unlimited (normally you only get about 30 listens free a month and I can go through that in a day)

Coke may have extended the program for another year but I'm hoping after 12/31 I won't be collecting and entering points to the level that I do now. To all those who supported my addiction, it was appreciated. And if you still save points for me, I won't be mad at you :)

Thank You Santa

Dear Santa,

I don't know how I can ever thank you, Santa, for the joy and happiness you gave to me today. I woke up this morning to find a Wii under my Christmas tree. I guess my reasoning for wanting one must have been pretty convincing. This weekend I'm going to try and find/buy a Wii Fit. How can I ever thank you for encouraging my health and fitness? Thank you for getting me started on a path to a better me.

Now you'll have to excuse me. It's my turn to play tennis. I only have one remote so the family is taking turns.

I love you Santa,
ME

Lexus Lover

This time of year the car dealers and manufacturers play the best, most tempting car commercials. And with the lowest grade cas costing $1.49 a gallon it is soooo tempting to go out and buy or lease a car.

Every year I always see the Lexus commericials with the big red bow on top of the cars. I would probably go in to hysterics if someone ever bought me a Lexus. My first choice is the Lexus LS 460, the car that can park itself. But I would probably go all out and buy the hybrid version, the Lexus LS 600h. I am one of those people that will carry newspapers, magazines, empty plastic bottles and empty cans around in my bag until I can find a proper place to recycle them. I also live in NYC so I would probably want a vehicle with some height to it. So if I wasn't buying a Chevy Tahoe hybrid I'd get a Lexus RX Hybrid. And I don't need a new car, these all come as certified used cars.

I know, I know...Lexus are just souped up Toyota's but I love them. And as much as the cost of cars and the cost of gas comes down there are 2 very strong reasons for why I'm not buying a car:
1. I live in NYC, I don't really need the car I have it's just nice to have it.
2. I don't want a car payment or higher insurance payment. My car is paid in full and even though she is old she still runs well and I plan on riding her until the wheels fall off.

Do the car commercials have you dreaming of a new car for Christmas? How much does the cost of gas effect your car purchasing?

As Seen on TV

I remember when the George Foreman grill started out as an infomercial. I was in college and I remember I got sucked in to it. I would watch the infomercial over and over and over. I finally bought a Foreman grill when it hit stores. And sadly I now own 3 of them, 1 of them is still in the box.

But every now and then there is an infomercial that truly catches my attention and stays on my brain. I seriously contemplate buying these products. I even bookmark the websites for them and every so often I'll go back and look at them and reconsider if I really want them.

Here are the top 3 "As Seen on TV" items I am considering buying.

1. Hip Hop Abs
I LOVE to dance and I LOVE to dance Hip Hop so this infomercial gets me every time. I won't even embarrass myself by telling you how many times I have gone back to the website and contemplated buying. I already dance around in my living room. Why not dance around to a structured routine/workout?

2. The Bender Ball
I work so much that I just don't have time to go to a gym. And I HATE doing situps because they hurt my lower back. But the bender ball makes it look so comfortable. Notice I said comfortable, not easy. I even tried putting a pillow under my lower back. It helped a little with the pain but it wasn't helping me with the effectiveness. This might just be worth the $20.

3. Snuggie Blanket
I was interested in this one because I'm always sitting on my couch with a blanket on my legs. But it's hard to type on my computer with a blanket around my arms. The Snuggie is the blanket with sleeves. My boy just told me to wear a sweatshirt, which I do, but I'm a sucker for fleece. What really got me was that I could get 2 for the price of 1 so I would keep 1 and give my Mom 1.

Speaking of my Mom she is also a sucker for "As Seen on TV" infomercials. She waits until a product hits the stores but when she sees it, if the infomercial really got her she will buy it. Her latest purchase, Aqua Globes. She like her Aqua Globes so much that she bought me Aqua Globes too.

What infomericials have caught your attention? Have you ever ordered on the phone or online from an infomercial? Have you ever bought something you saw in an infomercial once it was sold in stores?

Holiday Gift Giving

I'm so thankful that I don't get caught up in holiday gift giving. I don't give presents, for the most part, at Christmas to my family because I give to them all year long. In this economy it's not worth it to me to put myself in to debt just for the fanfare of one day.

This year my niece wanted to come to New Jersey to visit during her winter break and my Mom really wanted to have her visit. So I told them both that the purchase of the plane ticket would be my mutual present to both.

But for the most part I don't stress about buying everyone presents. Christmas is only one day out of the year and I seriously give all year long. When someone asks for $20, buy me this, get me that, etc., etc. I just don't believe in stressing myself out for one day.

Now there are exceptions to every rule. I MIGHT buy my new great niece a present but then again she is only a few months old so she's not old enough to appreciate any gifts. I would rather just spend some quality time with my family eating, talking, laughing and watching movies. That's a happy holiday to me. No one has to spend a lot of money or go broke or stress out or feel guilty about not being able to buy someone else a present.

How are you handling holiday gift giving this year? Is the current economic state making you approach the holiday differently?

Times Square Billboard

My face graced a billboard in Times Square. On Saturday December 13, 2008 at 8:17pm my photo was displayed on the Time magazine promotional billboard for the pending Person of the Year issue.

Your picture can be on the billboard too. Just upload your photo at this website and they will send you an email when your photo actually displays in Times Square.

Shopping Temptations

I think the stores and my credit cards are in cahoots to keep me in debt.

The stores are having incredible sales right now. 20% off everything...25% off everything...40% off your entire purchase. The ads in the newspaper are very tempting especially when some places got hip to the fact that it's better if you DON'T ask people to bring in a coupon and you just offer them the discount off top.

And then to make matters worse almost every single one of the credit cards I have has increased my credit limit. Just as I've been working to get out of credit card debt they go and raise my limit. Damn them both. I'm NOT falling for it.

I don't even walk past stores. Not like walking past a Macy's would tempt me to go in but you won't catch me in shopping districts. And I'm using the additional credit limits to consolidate debt and pay less interest overall. I'm sure that's not what the credit cards intended when they upped my limit but that is MY plan.

So the stores and credit cards will not break me before Christmas BUT I'm not sure I'll be able to resist the after Christmas sales when they realize they haven't sold enough and are trying to get people to shop as much as possible before January 1.

Am I the only one feeling tempted? Have you given in to the temptations? If not, how are you holding out?

2009 Shopping List/Wish List

Dear Santa,
I don't ask for a lot but what I do ask for I usually really really want. So please evaluate my list and the reasoning for each items and judge accordingly.
Signed,
A Bad Girl Gone Good ;P

- Wii and Wii Fit
I haven't owned a gaming console since my Ninendo with the running pad and the gun to play duck hunt and clay fighting. It's really a case of me wanting a Wii fit and I can't buy a Wii fit without having a Wii. I think a Wii/Wii Fit would be of more value and use to me than a gym membership. I can workout at home any time I want, what could beat that.

- Nintendo DS
They had me at the commercial for the Personal Trainer: Cooking game. I don't even want to call it a game because anything that makes cooking easier for me to do is more than child's play.

- Earrings
But specifically I want a pair (or two) of Harry Mason earrings. I haven't owned a pair since my trip to San Francisco back in February 2006. I loved the earrings and I had them for awhile but when you lose one there is no point in wearing the other.

- Mac Computer
If I had to (or could afford) to buy another notebook it would be a MacBook Pro with the 15 inch screen. My Dell notebook has a 17 inch screen. If I had to (or could afford) to buy another desktop it would be a Mac Pro. I'm tempted by the iMac but the Apple store is always so ridiculous I haven't had a chance to go to the store and really compare for myself. All I know is I need quality computers that can handle serious web production

- Everything else
These are the things that I keep putting on my list so no need to go in to detail again....just reference previous lists.

2008 Shopping List Recap

It's that time again for me to review the shopping/wish list I created for last year and see what I got, what I didn't and what will remain on the list. It always amazes me when I look back on it because I don't actually go back to reference the list during the year.

- New Computer(s)
I bought myself a new Dell laptop BUT I really want a Macbook Pro or a Mac desktop so this may go back on the 2008 list.

- Fry Daddy
Still haven't gotten it...still burning the hell out of myself when I cook.

- Watch
I rely on my 2 cell phones to know what time it is so I may have to take this one of the list.

- Earrings
It's ridiculous how I lose earrings. So on the 2008 list this will go.

- Sex and the City: The Complete Series (Collector's Giftset)
Still haven't bought it. Sadly this one has been on my list since the show ended.

- Sex and the City Essentials
Hasn't been on the list as long but I still want it and I still don't have it..

- Wine
I bought a significantly larger amount of wine this year than in years past. This will probably remain on the list.

- Harry Potter Boxset Books 1-7 (Hardcover)
I got this as a birthday present (thanks jerk face, you know who you are).

- Victoria's Secret gift card
No gift card but that didn't stop me from shopping at Vicky's.

- FOOD
I ALWAYS want this and I always get this. Several people took me out to eat this year.

- TIVO with recordable DVR
I still don't have it. I need to just break down and order a DVR from my cable company.

- Pearls
Still haven't gotten this but I'm thinking about using my Citicard Points to get a set.

- African American History For Dummies
I'm a member of paperbackswap.com and this is on my wish list so whenever it becomes available it will be mailed to me.

Check back tomorrow for my 2009 wish list.

The Color of My Money

I've taken a lot of online surveys and quizzes for fun but this one my girlfriend found was pretty damn accurate:

It's basically a quiz that determines what careers are best for you based on the colors you prefer to look at - but not necessarily the colors you prefer to wear or decorate with.

When people ask me what would I have become if I didn't become a journalist I ALWAYS say librarian and people laugh cause whatever they think of when they think of a librarian, they can't picture me as that. But this survey agreed with what I have been saying all along. Librarian would have been a great career choice for me.

See my results below and take the quiz for yourself.

• Best Occupational Category

  You're a CREATOR

  Key Words:
  Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional

  These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

  CREATOR OCCUPATIONS
  Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

  CREATOR WORKPLACES
  Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.

  Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

• 2nd Best Occupational Category

  You're a PERSUADER

  Key Words: Witty, Competitive, Sociable, Talkative, Ambitious, Argumentative, and Aggressive

  These enterprising types sell, persuade, and lead others. Positions of leadership, power, and status are usually their ultimate goal. Persuasive people like to take financial and interpersonal risks and to participate in competitive activities. They enjoy working with others inside organizations to accomplish goals and achieve economic success.

The Vegas Curse

Now that I'm done gushing about Vegas I have to admit I have a Vegas curse. The curse is that EVERY TIME, without fail, that I go to Vegas SOMETHING happens in terms of travel either on my way there or on my way back. So much has happened you would think it would make me stop going back to Vegas...but I keep going back.

Here are a few examples of my travel disasters:

December 2008 - I get to the airport to go and they tell me I never bought my ticket I only reserved it. So Delta, why did you hold a ticket for me for almost 2 months because that is how far in advance I supposedly "ordered" it? Then I get to Vegas and they "lose" my bag. Translation: my bag didn't make my connection and was coming in on a later flight. So why am I paying you money to get my bag there when I arrive and you get it there after I arrive? Then on the way back why do I have to sit in the airport for 3 hours? You tell me I can't get on a plane seperate from my bag YET my bag arrived back in NYC before I did.

September 2008 - I literally passed out on the plane. I was fast asleep and I felt my blood pressure dropping, blood rushing to my feet and I was nautious. I try to get up to go to the bathroom and I fall out in my seat. I still haven't been able to explain how that happened.

August 2007 - It's NYC, you think no matter what the weather is, the subways always run. WRONG!!! There was a HUGE rainstorm that flooded the subway. But I wasn't worried I take the bus to the airport, not the subways. Well the subways were so packed I almost missed my flight. I literally stopped a random guy at a stop light and said I would pay him if he would take me to the airport. At first he thought I was a cop, when I convinced him I was desperate to make my flight, he gave me a rid.

February 2007 - the journey to Las Vegas was so outrageous I had to do a blog entry about it.

I could go on and on and on about the travel disasters that have happened to me in regards to my trips to Las Vegas. Should I let my travel mishaps keep me from going back to Las Vegas in 2010?

What is your worst travel nightmare?

Home for the Holidays

I love to travel. Even my boss mentioned that I'm always going somewhere. (Shut up anyone who is thinking, "Yeah, going insane.") But I'm actually looking forward to staying home for the holidays.

My holiday break doesn't officially begin until December 24th BUT the majority of my team at work goes on vacation Friday December 19th. So I'm looking forward to the 19th when everything at work will slow down.

So far it looks like my Mom and some of my family are going to come over Christmas Eve and we are going to cook Christmas dinner. Then my niece is flying in from Ohio X-mas night so we will either scoop her up at the airport and come back to NYC or hang out in NJ.

But I'm really looking forward to sleeping late, staying in my apt, maybe not taking a shower for a day or two as I lamp on my couch watching football (college bowl games) and dvd's....lots of reruns and marathons on TV, getting to finish one of the many books that I'm midway through. I also want to do some purging. It's the end of the year, out with the old, in with the new so time to clean house (physcially and metaphorically).

What do you have planned for the holidays?

Best Vacation EVER!!!

Sorry for the late blog folks. I thought I had banked a few blogs in anticipation of my vacation and that I knew I would be too tired to blog.

I won't give a full fledged recap (to protect the person I went on this trip with) but I will hit the highlights of why this trip qualifies for one of the best vacations I have ever taken.

1. As always, we stayed in a great condo. I *heart* timeshare condos for vacation lodging.

2. We found a casino whose sports book pays on ties for parlays. They also do 6, 6.5 and 7 point teasers (You gotta be in to sports gambling to understand the significance of that.) I will be going back there to gamble.

3. We went indoor skydiving. I loved it so much I want to go skydiving for real in some place exotic like Costa Rica.

4. I did things and went places I had never done or gone before on all my previous trips to Las Vegas.

5. I took my first helicopter over Hoover Dam. And my travel buddy got to fly the helicopter. If he ever gives me his permission I will post the pictures.

I could list 20 highlights...easy...but I'll keep it short and simple to just 5.

As always I left my Vegas vacation happy and I'm already longing to go back. But I'm looking forward to 2010 in Las Vegas. It will be like a brand new city to me with all the changes coming. They are building new casinos, a new indoor water park and an indoor ski resort...you heard me, indoor skiing in the middle of the desert.

So I'm going to list 5 things I would like to do when I go back to Las Vegas in 2010...yes I said 2010 not 2009.

1. See O and/or La Reve.

2. Visit the Grand Canyon.

3. Visit the new indoor water park.

4. Check out the new City Center.

5. Go to a club and a restaurant that I have never been to before...there are plenty of options for that in Vegas.

What's your best vacation?

Cheese Keeps on Moving

At my job there seems to be a new announcement/change every week.

Last week in October we were warned by an email from Ann Moore that the layoff axe was going to drop. For the next two weeks we got memo's of senior people choosing to "retire." Two weeks before Thanksgiving the layoffs officially started. So the next week was all about transition people's assignments to other people and/or figuring out what tasks were no longer essential. The week of Thanksgiving was short and bitter sweet. It was the last days for those that were laid off. The week after Thanksgiving was hectic as we adjusted to new responsibilities and missing the people that were once there. In my case, I also got the curve ball that we were moving offices, again. We were being integrated in to the magazine so now the magazine and website are all on one floor.

So now my big adjustment is that my new office is a cave or at least that is what I have nicknamed it. I used to have an office with 2 big windows. Mind you I was always facing my computer but it was nice to be able to do a weather or time check every now and then. Now I have an inside office with no window and it's dark. We have these sensor lights and because I make such slight movements when I'm at my computer it ALWAYS shuts off on me. So just imagine sitting in a windowless office at your computer and suddenly the lights go out. My computer monitor thus serves as a flashlight.

It's no secret that I HATE my new office. I'm not claustrophobic but sitting in a cave for 8+ hours is depressing. On the brighter side of things, at least I still have a job. But I wish I could work from home more. A lot of natural light floods my office in my apt. Oh well, it is what it is. The cheese has moved so I'm moving with it.

Travel Nightmare

My worst nightmare actually came true...but not for me.

My worst nightmare is to go on vacation and come back to find out that I don't have a job or that my home has been burned down or someone very close to me has died. Well one of these 3 things did actually happen to one of my friends.

One of my boys, who happens to love Vegas as much as I do, went on vacation and came back and was laid off from his job. He was out in LA and Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. Vegas is a good time and you can really spend some loot, not just gambling. But you don't really think about that when you go on a trip cause you know you can always make more money when you go home. That is unless you get laid off. And that is exactly what happened to him.

As much as I travel that is a HUGE fear for me. Because when I go on vacation I spend money. Mind you I always have a budget BUT if I blow my budget a little it shouldn't be that big of a deal right? WRONG. In this current economic state you just never know.

Today is my first day back from vacation so let's hope I still have my job AND that I can get in to my office (that's another blog for tomorrow).

Computer Love

Has anyone ever asked you to name one thing you can't live without? Sadly, for me, I can't live without my computer connected to the internet. A computer without an internet connection is just a box. It's the internet that makes it come alive and useful.

I can live without a phone...just chat on AIM or G-chat.
I can live without a TV...just watch TV on my computer.
I can live without a DVD Player...just watch movies on my computer.
I can live without a radio...just listen to music on my computer.
I can live without books, newspapers and magazines...just read on my computer.
I can live without physical stores...just shop on my computer.
I can live without going to a restaurant...just order food on my computer.

So when I go away and I don't have my computer I can still get all my emails on my phone. But it's not quite as comfortable typing an email on my Blackberry as it is on my computer. After about 2 days of not having a computer I begin to go through withdrawal.

One of my boys has been without a computer at home for a few months now. I would go crazy with frustration. If my computer was to break today I'd have to order a computer ASAP. Otherwise I would spend additional hours at work because I couldn't go home and be online.

I love my computer. It's the first thing I get on in the morning and the last thing I'm on before I go to sleep. I cannot live without my computer.

Bye Bye Vegas

I'm getting ready for my last vacation of the year. This one has special significance because this is also my Farewell to Vegas trip. For those who don't know I'm taking a break from Vegas for 2009. There is a pool for when/if I will break and fly to my beloved city in 2009 (if anyone is interested in placing a bet).

As with every Vegas trip I'm going to try and do a few things I have never done before in addition to some of my favorites. I really want this trip to be memorable since I know that I won't be back to Vegas for 12 months or even longer. I hope I don't cry when I have to get back on the plane and fly to NYC. Hopefully I'll be too happy, content and tired and the vision of Vegas show girls can dance in my head as I travel back east.

Given the economy this might actually be my last vacation for awhile. For 2009 the only planned trips I have is Obama's inauguration (which doesn't count) and my girlfriend's wedding in Atlanta. The inauguration doesn't count because D.C. is a short drive away and I'm staying with my sister. Atlanta is a trip because I have to get a flight, hotel room and rental car. So cost is the determining factor on what I call a trip/vacation.

I thought about trying to take a year off from traveling. Literally not going on any trips that involve flying or driving for more than 2 hours. But even I know travel is the one thing I can't give up.

Say Cheese

I've been reading and re-reading "Who Moved My Cheese?" A lot has been going on personally and professionally and the simple parable of the book keeps my spirits up and serves as a reminder. So I wanted to post the books reminders on my blog because I'm sure I'm not the only one that has to be reminded that the cheese (whatever your cheese is) will move and you have to be willing to move with it.

Change Happens

They Keep Moving The Cheese

Anticipate Change

Get Ready For The Cheese To Move

Monitor Change

Smell The Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old

Adapt To Change Quickly

The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese

Change

Move With The Cheese

Enjoy Change!

Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese!

Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again & Again

They Keep Moving The Cheese.

School's In

I've worked many different side hustles but I'm about to embark on one that puts my years of experience to use. A week from now I'll start teaching an online course, "Writing and Editing for the Web." People ask me all the time for advice on how to break in to the web, especially in today's job market. I think my course will be a good overview/introduction/starting point. At the end of my class a person will have a blog (if they don't have one), an improved blog (if they do have one) and a written piece ready for submission to a website. Best of all they will have a better understanding of the online industry.

So if you know anyone who might be interested in taking my class, send them the link. If my class doesn't fit their needs, I'm sure they can find others also offered by MediaBistro.

Spelling Bee

Nothing major in this post I just wanted to share a special memory.

So one Saturday night I was at home and Akeelah and the Bee was on Lifetime. That movie holds a special place in my heart because it provokes several good memories.

I saw the movie in Seattle with one of my mentors Reggie Stuart. We were in Seattle for the American Society of Newspaper Editors (ASNE) convention. So we are in the theater watching previews and the fire alarm goes off. They made us evacuate the building. They didn't know when we could go back in to the movie theater. So what did we do? We walked over to Starbucks (there is one on every corner in Seattle) and got a hot drink. Hopefully we could see the movie when we finished. Patience is a virtue that everyone knows I lack but I was with Reggie so I was good. We enjoyed our hot beverages and walked back over to the theater. We got to see the movie (it was worth the wait) and we each got 10 passes to see movies for free at any AMC theater. Of course I was sitting in the theater crying...I'm a sucker for a touching story. The movie makes me think of my time in Seattle and especially getting to spend some quality time with one of my mentors. That will always be one of my most special memories of Reggie.

The movie also makes me think of a guy I used to date. Back in December of 2005 I was preparing to leave Atlanta for a job at the New York Times. At the last minute I decided to spend New Year's Eve in NYC and bring some of my stuff home. I had a great New Year's Eve but New Year's Day was pretty cool too. I spent the day watching reruns of previous Scripps National Spelling Bees with the guy I was dating at the time. I know it sounds nerdy but we had such a good time. Too bad I'm not a good speller and thanks to technology I don't have to be. But I can appreciate the people who are.

And lastly this movie actually makes me think about another movie and another guy. I have never done a New York Times crossword puzzle but being the nerd that I am I can appreciate a movie about it and the people who are obsessed with it. Wordplay is a great documentary and because it's about words the movie Akeelah the Bee makes me think about it. My best memory associated with the movie is spending a Sunday morning cuddled in the bed with a guy I was dating. We had slept in and when we woke up I made breakfast. We ate breakfast in bed and watched Wordplay. I thought he would think I was a corny nerd but turns out he liked the movie and he was a nerd too.

I like movies that provoke feel good memories. So thanks Lifetime for the reminder.

Discomfort Food

We all have foods that for whatever reason we vow to never eat or drink again. It might not be the taste and more so the memory associated with it.

I have a serious aversion to Gatorade. Whenever I think of Gatorade I think of being sick and having to drink Gatorade to keep hydrated. I can't even publicly share the really really bad memory I have of Gatorade. But it's kind of ironic that a guy I have dated LOVES Gatorade. His favorite flavor is the one that I have the WORST memory of. I used to keep it stocked in my fridge for him. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

I also have an aversion to Ramen Noodles. It makes me think of the brokest time in my life, mainly college. I always vowed that I would never ever buy Ramen after I graduated college. It became a personal goal because Ramen, in my head, represents being broke and struggling to survive. Again, same guy LOVED Ramen. He would buy it for me when I was sick. But technically I didn't break my vow because he bought it, not me.

I like bananas, I don't like bananas is my cereal. The texture of a banana combined with corn flakes or cheerios I just don't like. I have a kinda strange memory associated with this one. My Dad died when I was 6 but some things I distinctly remember about him. Like how he would try to get me to eat cereal for breakfast and would put bananas in it. I wouldn't eat it. He would call my Mom at work complaining that I wasn't eating. And Mom would ask, well what did you try to feed her, she's kinda picky about her food. He would mention the bananas and Mom would tell him to make another bowl, minus the bananas. But no matter how many times my Mom would tell him this he would never remember. So once a month we would have this banana in my cereal situation. To my Dad's credit, he worked a lot and so it was only about once a month where he was 100% solely responsible for getting me breakfast. Most days my Mom or Grandma handled that task. Honestly, looking back, I wish I could sit down with my Dad for breakfast. I'd eat whatever he gave me.

What are your discomfort foods? Are there foods that provoke a certain negative memory for you? Enough talk about food...let's EAT. Happy Thanksgiving

Comfort Food

There are certain foods that make me feel good. And it's not because the food tastes so great but because I have a particular happy memory attached to them.

The other day I was at my side hustle and I noticed there were Lorna Doone's in the vending machine. I IMMEDIATELY had to have them. I haven't had Lorna Doone's in years but when I think of Lorna Doone's I think of my Grandmother. It was something she would give us as a treat.

I'm almost 30 years old and for as long as I can remember I have eaten Chef Boyardee's Beefaroni. If you come to my apt, I always have at least 1 can in the cabinet. Again, this is another food I associate with memories of my Grandmother. And she didn't have the pleasure of a microwave or the new single serve microwave containers. I remember her heating it up on the stove for me for lunch.

Whenever I get sick I HAVE to have chicken noodle soup from a chinese takeout. Especially if whatever that has me sick is making me throw up. For some odd reason I can deal better with that coming back up then say Gatorade or ginger ale. As a kid I would throw up the soup and a few hours later ask for more. I know, not the most comfortable memory, but my point is that it always makes me feel better and if not, I don't mind throwing it back up. LOL

What are your comfort foods? Are there foods that provoke a certain memory for you? Tomorrow I'll talk about discomfort foods. I know the timing for such a topic might be weird but it might make me appreciate my Thanksgiving dinner even more.

Disproportionate

I don't want to be one of those Black people that ALWAYS thinks someone is out to get my race BUT is it me or are Black people disproportionately more affected than other races in negative situations?

With the recent housing crisis it seems that a larger number of Black people were negatively affected by sub-prime mortgages than any other race. If the auto industry went under, as one Black journalist put it, "a good brunt of Detroit area's Black middle-class and the businesses it supports," would be disproportionately affected.

When layoffs occur at a lot of these companies, but media companies in particular, the percentage of Black people is already low to begin with. So when you layoff one Black person that could equal a high percentage. I'll use my own job as an example. Before we had layoffs our team was 17 people. Of those 17 people, 3 were Black (including myself). The staff was about 18% Black. Well my 2 Black co-workers were laid off (leaving just me) and we lost another staff member so we are down to a team of 14 people. So the staff is now about 7% Black. If you were to just look at percentages and not number of people we took an 11% loss of Black employees (also can be called an 11% loss in diversity). It is ridiculous that I now represent 7% and if I was to be laid off they would be at ZERO.

I'm sure we were all told growing up that life is not always fair. But when I stop and think about the current state of affairs for Black people it just seems like life is less fair for us. I don't know, maybe it is just that recessive Black people conspiracy theory gene we inherited from our ancestors.

My Love Affair

I have been having an affair for the past four years. With each passing year the bond grows stronger and stronger. I have tried many times to let go and move on. Saying this will be the last time. But I'm always drawn back....to LAS VEGAS!!!!

It's very obvious that Las Vegas is by far one of my favorite cities and on the top of my list of places I like to travel too. It started in December 2004. It was my first trip to Las Vegas. For me, I was in love from the moment my plane landed.

And I just keep going back. Twice a year...three times a year...four times a year. I just can't get enough. I bought a timeshare there and that was the reality check. I cancelled it before I got too connected.

I have told EVERYONE and no one seems to believe me but for 2009 I'm taking the year off from Vegas. I don't care what is happening there...I don't care if I have a free place to stay, free airline ticket, whatever it is...I will not be going to Las Vegas in 2009. There are so many other places I have never been too before I can't continue to waste precious vacation time and money on the same city.

So I'm going back to Las Vegas. One more time to say goodbye. I'm hoping that I can get tickets to the boxing match that will be going on the weekend while I'm there. It would be a symbolic example of the struggle I have in my Vegas affair to have my last trip to my beloved city end with a fight.

I know, I know... 2009 won't be the same for me without Vegas. But we have to go our seperate ways for a time. See what other places I can visit. You know you truly love something when you are able to let it go...no matter how badly letting go hurts. The seperation may be good for us. And maybe, when we see each other again, it will be like we never broke up...it will be love at first sight all over again.

Family Pet

I blogged about the funniest report on the first family. Today I'm going to blog on the second funniest report. So much attention has been given to what the first family pet will be. I was actually amazed to learn that there are hypo-allergenic cats and dogs.

Growing up, my home was animal kingdom. We had cats, dogs, rabbits, mice, hamsters, gerbils, snakes, ferrets, fish, hermit crabs...just about any critter that it is legal to have as a pet. In middle school I developed asthma and severe allergies. But when I was tested for allergens I wasn't allergic to my pets. Good thing, cause I think my mom might have gotten rid of me before them. J/K So it wasn't until I went off to college that I fully lost my immunity to furballs.

I have always wanted to have a pet. As much as I like dogs they are just too much work. If a pet relied on me to be on a regular schedule in order to be able to walk them or feed them, they would be in a world of trouble. But I have always loved cats because they are self sufficient. You don't have to take them to the kennel. Just make sure if you are going away that you leave a clean litter box and enough food/water for them to go about their business.

So I'm thinking about getting a cat if I can find some hypo-allergenic kinds. BUT I also don't want to become the cat lady. I think cats can kill a dating life because I know so few men who actually like cats.

I'm also going to talk to my asthma/allergy specialist about tackling my allergies head on. It would require me getting a shot twice a week for the next year or two. And that is a serious commitment I don't know I can maintain. I miss my chiropractor appointments all the time and that's supposed to be twice a week every week.

Do you know of any hypo-allergenic cat types? Anyone inspired by the first family to adopt an animal? Anyone had success with allergy shot therapy?

The Changing Media Landscape

Every year we talk about "the changing media landscape." But the media is changing in a way I could have never imagined.

In my short career I have seen several cycles of layoffs and buyouts in newspapers. I began my career in magazines at a time when they were going through buyouts. But I have never seen anything like this before. Media is shrinking and not just at print publications. I work at a website and was always told and taught that online was the "safe" media but when your website is tied to a print publication there is no safety.

I just want this period to be over. The daily reports of people being laid off here and laid off there. You can only take so much bad news before you mentally or emotionally breakdown. We won't get back to normal but we will figure out what the new normal is. When the dust has cleared what will the media landscape look like?

Personal Censorship

I don't like censoring myself. I consider myself a very open person. I share a lot about myself. I don't feel like I have anything to hide. But recently I had to put A LOT of people on limited profiles and I essentially had to edit my Facebook.

When it comes to Facebook I think it's a good reflection of my work/life balance. At work I work hard but when it's time to play, I play. Anyone who looks at my Facebook pictures might notice a few patterns. Like when I go out I tend to wear things that show off my legs, I think they are my best asset. I go to Vegas...A LOT...a lot of my pictures are from various trips to Vegas. I like stripper poles. Stripper poles are fun, sexy and a great prop to pose with :)

But I'm beginning to truly understand how everyone that is my Facebook friend is not really my friend. And some of those people don't know me or don't know me that well. So they see a picture of me posing with a pole and want to use it to judge me or to call in to question my performance at work. If anything, when I see photos of someone having fun outside of work on Facebook it helps me to see how well rounded and hopefully grounded they are.

We live in the United States where freedoms such as freedom of speech and expression is a bedrock of our nation. But I must now make sure to self-censor myself. And I hate it. So excuse me while I go check my Facebook friends list and see who else I need to add to the limited profile list.

Grounded

My one vice is travel. I travel more than the average person but less than the average business person. I average about one trip a month. But the airlines are determined to ground me.

One by one the airlines have been adding fees for checked luggage. I've never had a problem with them charging for 2 or more bags. But to charge me for my 1 bag that I have to check because of the liquids inside is just unfair. What I think sucks most about the baggage fee is that you have to pay both ways. So on top of the airline ticket you have to pay $30 plus just for your luggage.

The number of airlines that don't charge for checked bags was down to 3: Airtran, JetBlue and Southwest. Then the announcement came on Friday, my beloved Airtran would be charging for checked bags as well. What is a leisure traveler like myself supposed to do? Southwest does not fly out of NYC. So I'm not going to drive to Philly just to get a plane, I might as well pay the baggage fee. I like JetBlue but it doesn't fly every where I want to fly and it only flies out of JFK. I prefer to fly out of LGA, it's closer to my apt.

I'm not really sure how I'm going to deal with this change. On shorter trips it won't be a problem. I just came back from Atlanta and I carried on and kept my liquids to a minimum. But what will I do about longer trips? I have to go back to Atlanta in February and even though it will just be for a weekend I'm going to a wedding and I don't want the dress I'm wearing to be crushed in to a small carry on. I'm thinking about paying for the baggage fee one way and then just rolling the dress on the way back so I can carry it on. It won't matter that it's wrinkled for my trip home.

How are the fees for checked baggage affecting your travel? What, if anything, will you do differently when you have to fly?

Don't Take It Personnel

Before all my copy editor friends jump on me I used the word personnel instead of personal for a reason.

In my career I have always been fortunate to stay ahead of the curve...AND ahead of the cuts. When the Philadelphia Inquirer had a huge layoff that would have directly affected me if I was still working there, I was at the Atlanta Journal Constitution. When the AJC had several rounds of cuts I was already working in New York. I haven't based my career on moving on and moving up before the cuts come, it's always been coincidental.

Who hasn't been indirectly affected by layoffs? Every layoff has a domino effect even when the layoff wasn't at your place of employment. I've also been fortunate that I have never had to let any of my employees go or watch as co-workers I have grown close too, had to leave....until now.

I'm sure everyone has read the news reports about how Time Inc is cutting close to 600 people. For weeks it has been this state of anxiety. Who will stay...who will go...how will I be affected. We knew the cuts were coming and they were going to affect everyone. The cuts were going to hit at all levels and everyone would have to make sacrifices. Do more with less and still get it all done. I knew this. I expected this. I thought I even had prepared a plan to deal with this. Because this is the way of our professional culture. But knowing all this didn't make the cuts any less surprising.

Some that were cut were on my team. They worked directly with me and for me. It's a double edged reality. On one hand I am happy to still have my job. As I tell anyone that asks me, I love what I do. Every job has it's good or bad days but the position I have is perfect for my type-A personality (see I said it, for my friends who think I refuse to admit that I'm type-A). But on the other hand I hate to see anyone lose their job and ESPECIALLY anyone that is on my team. It's hard for me to think about them not being there. They helped me to transition when I switched publications.

The sad reality of today's layoffs is that it's not about performance. When your position is being eliminated it has little to do with how well you have done. Most companies do not have another position they can move you too. Sadly it is a numbers game and any of our numbers can be pulled.

So to anyone who has been laid off or might get laid off...Don't take it personal. It's not about people but personnel.

First Family Fascination

Is it me or have people not been this fascinated with/by a first family since the Kennedy's? The news outlets report on EVERYTHING about them.

I think the funniest report thus far has been the secret service names for the family. I don't know if white fraternities and sororities give members line names but BUT black greek organizations do. And the first families secret service names sound like line names.

Barack Obama = Renegade
Michelle Obama = Renaissance
Sasha Obama = Rosebud
Malia Obama = Radiance

Personally I think these will be Malia and Sasha's line names when they go to college. Daughters of the first black president and their Mom is an AKA...they need to just make them honorary AKA's, pass go and give them their letters NOW.

HNIC

I had a random thought. We always joke about who is the HNIC or being the HNIC and NOW we know who the HNIC is...Barack Obama. He is our nation's HNIC elected to be THE HNIC. Personally, I think I'm the HBIC and if you get on my bad side you will quickly find out what I mean.

For those of you who don't know what HNIC stands for I suggest:
1. Seeing the movie "Lean on Me"
2. Looking it up in the Urban Dictionary

For those of you who don't know what HBIC stands for I suggest:
1. Watching the first two seasons of "Flavor of Love"
2. Looking it up in the Urban Dictionary

Public Housing

I was in Atlanta this weekend. It was both a business trip and a pleasure trip. I went to check on my house...the one that I can't sell so I'm just trying to make sure it stays rented out. I also went to one of my closest friends 30th birthday party and then her bridal shower the next day. So I killed three birds with one stone.

When I lived in Atlanta I used to attend New Birth Missionary Baptist Church where Bishop Eddie Long is the Senior Pastor. I had an overwhelming desire to go to church no matter how late I was going to stay out the night before. So not only did I go to church but I went to early morning service (how I didn't fall asleep in service was a miracle in itself.)

Bishop Long said something very interesting in his sermon. He said Barack Obama and his family were about to move in to public housing hopefully for the next 8 years. Public housing...interesting term to apply to the White House BUT it is 100% true. It's just not what people typically think of when you say public housing.

Projects, PJ's, public housing, section 8, whatever you want to call it I grew up in public housing. There were kids in my neighborhood who thought I was only visiting family that lived there. They didn't believe I lived there because I was a ghetto nerd. I could hang out in the alley ways but I also spoke correct English. Yes, the fact that I used English more than slang meant to the other kids that I must not live there.

But just think if all the kids that are living/growing up in public housing thought of the White House as another type of public housing that they could aspire to live in. I think it could be a huge motivating factor.

Personally I am blown away by the thought that the house that slaves built is now going to be the home of a black president. Just proving once again that life is a circular cycle.

Tears of Joy

Not sure what's going on these days but I have been crying a lot lately. And it's not because I'm sad. It's because I'm happy...touched...moved...amazed...pick any positive adjective and it fits. Lately it doesn't take much for me to get all teary eyed. And no it's not hormones or PMS...I'm on the birth control shot and haven't had a visit from mother nature in quite some time.

I cried election night and several times throughout the rest of the week in relation to Obama winning. I cried when I read this article from the Washington Post about a former butler in the White House. You have to read it all the way to the end to see what touched my heart strings.

I got teary again when I was landing in Atlanta. I love Atlanta. It will always be my home away from home. I was just so happy knowing that I was going to see my friends and I was looking forward to spending the day with my best friend/sister and partying with my ATL friends.

Growing up I always thought crying was a sign of weakness. If I had to cry I would find some place to privately do it. Even at a very young age, 6, when my dad died I didn't want anyone to see me cry. So I locked myself in the bathroom and when my family wouldn't leave me alone, I ran in to a bedroom and crawled under the bed. My tears were my own.

Nowadays I've softened my stance on PDT (public display of tears). One of my girlfriends even posted a picture of me on Facebook from election night where I was both crying and smiling. So tears are okay and I prefer tears of joy to tears of sadness.

Dead Tree Sell Out

I can never, ever, ever remember a day where every single newspaper across the country SOLD OUT!!! At a time when newspapers are shrinking and magazines are following suit it was a refreshing reminder. When it comes to momentous occasions people want to have something in print to remember it. A website link is not as valuable when it comes to historical posterity.

I grew up with newspapers being a daily part of my life. My grandmother was an avid newspaper reader. Every day while eating breakfast before school my grandmother and I would read the newspaper. New York Daily News and The Record were the two papers we read every morning. When my sister came home from working in NYC she would bring a copy of the New York Times and New York Post. Newspapers was how we stayed informed and sparked many a conversation. I still read the newspaper everyday. I pick up AMNY and Metro every day and I read Washington Post and The New York Times online.

I could tell you how much I normally spend on newspapers a year. ZERO. But for this historic occasion I spent $.50 on the New York Daily News, $.50 on the New York Post, $16.20 on the New York Times (ordered it at nytstore.com), and $7.45 on USA Today (ordered it from usatoday.com). I'm still debating if I want to spend $59.95 for the Washington Post* (or just wait until I go to D.C. for the inauguration) and if I want to order the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun Times. Basically I spent more in one day on newspapers than I have spent in the last year. And subscriptions are cheap so if you add up what I spent that at least equals a weekend subscription to the New York Times.

But I, like most people in my generation, relies heavily on the Internet. I used to subscribe to newspapers but they would pile up and pile up and I never got around to reading them like I wanted too. The guilt of not having time to read the newspaper on a daily basis is one of the main reasons young people cite for not subscribing to the newspaper.

If I some day have children I want to be able to pull out the newspapers I have saved from major historic events. I think it would make my grandmother proud.

*I just found another area of The Washington Post.com that is selling copies of the paper for much cheaper. If you want the EXPENSIVE reprint of the page it's here

Back On The Blog

What would it take for me to return to the blogosphere...you guessed it. A BLACK PRESIDENT! But since the focus of my blog is dating and relationships I'm going to talk about the relationships with family and friends.

First, yesterday was personally historic for me. Three generations of my family voted yesterday. I wish I could have gotten a picture of my mother, brother and myself in line at the polls early in the morning. Or my niece in Ohio voting in her first election. (Thanks Ohio!) Or my niece in NJ, also voting in her first election. Or my uncle in Virginia (we did win Virginia right?) Or all my other family members who are spread across the east coast that represented at the polling booths. Is there some kind of cliche I can insert here about families that vote together? Like a family that votes together don't go broke together...or something like that. If not, oh well...it was still a historic day for me personally.

Next, I gotta give some love to all my friends. From my friends that were with me (Heights Crew) when the announcement happened and understood why I could not stop crying. To my best friend in Chicago who was texting me from the rally. To my friends in Atlanta who were also feeling blessed despite Georgia electorate going the other way. To my facebook friends, the status message updates just say it all. To ALL my journo friends who kept the inbox over flowing. To Poppa K who was emailing me and by far he is the biggest Obama supporter I personally know.

I have to thank my American family. That's right, my fellow Americans. You helped to make Martin Luther King Jr's dream a reality. A dream deferred is now a dream realized. This was his dream and I am alive to experience it.

Last but not least I have to thank my ancestors. There are just so many people who I wish were alive to see this. My great grandmother who never talked about her family and there was a complete disconnect because she married a black man. My great grandfather, a self-educated business man, who never got to meet his full potential because of racism. My grandmother who experienced so much racism as a child and was the first person to talk to me about politics. My father who always said and believed some day there will be a black president.

Even now just thinking about how far black people have come, how far America has come, its an overwhelming joy. From 9/11/01 to Barack Obama in 08, who could have imagined this.

The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough

I read this article and I was so irritated by what it said. It's basically an article saying if you want to be married and have a family, settle. SETTLE!?!?!?

Settling is bullshit. I don't expect perfection. I have very realistic expectations of what I want out of a spouse...a life mate. Ultimately all I want is to be loved by that person and I shouldn't have to settle for him liking me but not loving me or me liking him but not loving him.

I really do want someone who loves me....I want someone who I am #1 with...someone who 100% wants to be with me and I 100% want to be with him. I shouldn't have to settle for the guy that is interested in me even if I'm not really feeling him.

I realize 30 is around the corner and like one of my closest friends that is turning 30 this year I'm starting to accept that maybe I won't get married and have kids. But I'd rather be single than settling. I still have hope. I still believe there is someone out there for me. Is getting married by 30 looking likely, no...but I'm not going to settle and marry anyone just to be married by 30.

This article was a jolt to my system. It came at a time when I was questioning a situation I was in. I had no choice but to acknowledge that I was settling for a situation I wasn't really happy with rather than having nothing. I was settling for the more than friends but less than being the girlfriend he truly loved and was committed too scenario. I had to choose to love myself enough and not continue to be in that situation. It's not easy. It's extremely hard to love someone and put time and energy in to making something work. And then to have to accept defeat...that your best wasn't good enough and that you couldn't make the situation work for both people.

He once said we would probably be better off apart. I hope he's right. But even if he's wrong...I'm not settling for less than what I want or less than what I feel I deserve. I deserve to be someone's girlfriend, straight up, real title, full commitment...not the chick that you've been dating and everyone knows you are together but it ain't really official. I've been that chick one too many times in my life and I don't like being her. Ultimately I deserve to be someone's wife. I'm a tenderoni, around the way, homey, lover, friend, ride or die chick. And a man that can appreciate all aspects of that about me is out there.

Miscommunication

I think one of my biggest hinderances in dating, besides my hectic schedule, is the way in which I communicate. Funny thing for a journalist to be saying. But it's true. Just like you can be sexually incapatible you can be incompatible in the way you communicate.

I communicate best through IM, email and text messages. The last relationships as well as guys I have dated I got to know in those ways. It works for me because it allows me to multitask. So if a guy is the type that likes to talk for hours on end on the phone we are immediately incompatible. Time spent talking on the phone we could be on a date.

I'm just too busy and have too many things to do to spend a large amount of time yapping on a phone. But I can talk on IM for HOURS because I'm doing 30 other things while IMing.

When it cames to dating I'm my own worst enemy...from the way I communicate to how much time I have to devote to dating/getting to know someone to the standards/expectations I have. But I haven't given up hope...I'm a Pisces...we love to love...my Mr. Right is out there and we are just waiting to stumble upon each other.

NYC Lease Renewal

I just went through my first rent renewal process and I couldn't have done it without the help of friends. So before I even tell the story I want to thank Poppa K, Skizzle and German Girl.

First the back story. When I moved to NYC in January of 2006 I had challenges many people do not have. Most people move to NYC after college, somewhere in their early twenties, and they don't have any or a lot of furniture. So they can just about pick any nice apt and furnish it once they move. I moved to NYC after owning a home in ATL. And even after selling off some of my furniture I still had a lot of stuff. So SPACE was a HUGE challenge for me. I won't do a full recap you can see the blog I wrote in 2006 on the search and when I actually found my apt.

Fastforward to January 2008 and it's time to renew my lease. Maybe I am naive but given the economy I was expecting my management company to offer me the same rent if I sign a two year lease or a slightly higher rent and of course a big increase if I only wanted a one year lease renewal. I was wrong on all fronts. The landlord wanted $175 more a month if I signed a two year lease and a $205 increase if I wanted a two year lease. First off, what happened to the incentive to stay. You would think the lower increase would be offered on the longer lease term. Second, $175 represents an 11% increase in rent. My first thought was, is that even legal. That's double the rate of inflation.

So I called the management company and they told me I needed to write a letter requesting a rent negotiation and to support my case. I did that but you know me, I always have a Plan B so I started apt searching. One Saturday I looked at 7 apts. They were all nice, newly renovated BUT they were all too small. They were all liveable and I would recommend them to anyone but they were too small for me.

Next I went to see a few brokers and they all told me the same thing. My building/complex is a rare gem given the amenities, size, cost and location. Let's start with size. I have a Junior 4 - 1 bedroom. I had no idea what that really meant. Basically I have a dining room area and a den/office area that most 1 bedrooms don't have. I'm like okay, so what's the big deal about that. According to these brokers the layout/size of a Junior 4 - 1 bedroom is so different from a standard 1 bedroom that I would need to find another Junior 4 or a 2 bedroom. I take for granted the amenities I have like doorman, elevator building, security guards, laundry in the building, parking in the back, dishwasher, microwave, air conditioners. I was considering moving to Brooklyn to Flatbush Gardens but no doorman, laundry was in a another building a block away, no dishwasher, no microwave, no air conditioners. You really can't beat Central Harlem. I live 2 blocks from the 2/3 trains. And to the east, 10 blocks away is Metro North, the 4, 5 and 6 trains. To the west about 5 blocks is the A, C and E trains. I'm in the middle of it all.

Last but not least, cost. One of my friends from college moved in to my apartment complex in November. He is paying $295 a month more than I pay in rent. If you go to the website for my complex they are charging almost market rate for apartments. A studio is $1,350, a 1 bedroom is $1,630, a 1 bedroom with terrace is $1,805, a Junior 4 is $1,920 and a 2 bedroom is $2,670. I can't believe it's that expensive in Harlem.

After doing some market research and looking at several apartments I just hoped and prayed my letter to management would work so I wouldn't have to move. I HATE moving and I LOVE my apartment. My letter was two pages long and included everything from the rate of inflation to reasons why they should continue to have me as a tenant to how renewing my lease at a lower rate was saving them money. The letter was GREAT and if anyone is going through a lease renewal negotiation, email me and I will send you a copy so you can adjust it for your needs. My letter was soooo good that I'm presenting at the next tenant's association meeting about how to negotiate a rent renewal.

I called on Friday and they said the decision letter was being mailed that afternoon and they couldn't tell me over the phone. Saturday when I got home from work the new paperwork was in the mail. They agreed to a $105 increase in rent (about 6% increase) a month if I signed a two year lease vs. the initial $205 increase in rent a month if I signed a two year lease. I signed, sent it back and it's all good. I'm staying in Harlem for another two years AND I can still stick to my new year's goals of downsizing on the side hustles and I'll still be able to afford my apt.

Special K Diet

For the last two weeks I have been on the Special K Diet. If you have never heard of the diet here's the website to design your own plan http://www.specialk.com/?id=challenge

Now I know you are thinking, why are you, of all people, trying to lose weight. The diet says you can lose up to 6 lbs in two weeks. But my goal wasn't to lose a certain amount of weight it was about fitting in to a pair of jeans. My girlfriend Brooke helped me to purge my closet Steve Gunn style. (Gotta watch Project Runway to know who he is.) And hidden in the back of my closet I had these size 1 Calvin Klein jeans. Brooke said, you will never fit in to those jeans. They went up my legs fine, the hard part was fastening them. So I said I would go on the Special K diet and I would be able to fit in to those jeans.

Basically the diet is you eat a bowl of Special K for breakfast, a bowl of Special K for lunch, have the Special K snacks or fruit, yogurt, etc. in between and you eat a healthy dinner. I had to slightly vary this up because of course I decided to start this diet in the middle of NYC Restaurant Week. There were days I would eat the cereal for breakfast, have a normal lunch and then eat the cereal for dinner.

BUT my problem was whatever that one normal meal was I would go overboard because I was soooooo hungry. Like one day for lunch I had a sandwich, apple, granola bar, yogurt, bag of potato chips, brownie, small pasta salad, small soup and a soda. Probably NOT what they had in mind when they said normal meal...but for me, and anyone who really knows me, that is a normal meal. Another day I had Wendy's: chicken blt salad with extra honey mustard dressing, baked potato with broccoli, bacon and cheese, chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce, a large Sprite and a large frosty. Again, probably not a normal meal but for me, I consider that a healthy meal. I probably shouldn't have gotten the extra dressing or the cheese on the potato.

Once restaurant week was over I got better about the diet. My next problem would be the snacks at work. It seems like there are always cookies, brownies, cupcakes, fudge...something so good but so bad if you are on a diet. Needless to say I cheated on the diet...a lot. But the one thing I didn't do was try on the jeans every day to see how I was doing. I just said to myself wait until the end, it will be worth it. But I had already noticed my other clothes fitting a little different. Other jeans I have weren't as tight as before and some of my dress pants and skirts for work were a little loose too.

But it's day 14, the day of judgment. I got up this morning and I looked at the jeans and I looked at my belly that still hasn't gone down from the fabulous dinner I had at Ruby Tuesday's with my Mom and Sister. I walked over to my mirror and tried the jeans on.

The legs were never an issue but I think they slipped on a little easier than they did two weeks ago. But the true test would be if I could fasten the jeans. And without having to lay on the bed or the floor they fastened. YEAH SPECIAL K!!!!

But the diet isn't over. I've decided that the diet wasn't so bad. I never had mood swings or nightmares about food or any of the things a lot of people experience when they are dieting so I'm going to keep going at least for another week. I guess when I run out of cereal and snacks I'll stop. Plus I'm going to New Orleans the end of this week for NBA All-Star and I plan on EATING...a lot. Gumbo, crawfish, beignets, po'boys...oh I can't wait.

I didn't step on a scale before or after the diet so I have no idea how much weight I lost and I really don't care. I don't think a pound or two up or down can really hurt anyone. I suggest this diet for anyone who doesn't mind eating a lot of cereal or drinking a lot of milk. Special K has lots of varieties to keep you from getting bored with the cereal. I also think this diet is good for someone not looking for huge or dramatic results. If you are just trying to lose a few pounds in two weeks, it works. I actually think if I hadn't overloaded during my one normal meal a day I probably would have lost a little more.

Ultimately I probably just need to join a gym and do some situps. A new gym is opening 1 subway stop away from me and they are only charging $20 a month membership. Given that my company will reiumburse me for half of the gym membership I'm considering joining. The deciding factor will be if they offer classes cause just working out on equipment doesn't keep me motivated. Getting back in shape is one of my goals for 2008 so I'm going to do my research on gyms before I join.

Mother & Daughters

My sister just turned 50. It's a huge accomplishment to live that long. I wanted to do something special for the occasion. So I bought my sister and mom tickets to see the Color Purple on Broadway before it ends it's run. But before the show I took my sister and mom to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner.



It was the first time in a long time that all three of us were together. My sister and I haven't always gotten along especially in the last few years. But since her move to Maryland she is a lot happier and I'm happy for her. She was the sister I remembered the one who was always laughing and making others laugh but at the same time you knew she wouldn't take no crap. Today was one of those days I will cherish. It's about making memories and this will be a good one.

New Year, New Job

When I said in my Goals for 2008 that I was planning on making major career moves in the new year I was very serious. Effective January 7, I will no longer be with Sports Illustrated. I'm staying within the Time Inc. company and moving over to InStyle.com as the Editorial Producer.

Below is the official announcement:

Please join me in welcoming Tiffany Black to InStyle.com as Editorial Producer starting January 7th. Tiffany is currently a producer at SI.com for the mySI product and manages NFL game day blogging. She was formerly a sports producer at the New York Times on the Web. Before coming to New York, Tiffany worked online for the Atlanta-Journal Constitution and the Philadelphia Inquirer. Tiffany is a graduate of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. She was born and raised in Hackensack, New Jersey and currently lives in Harlem. Tiffany will report to Kristen Beirne.

After more than a year of assisting me and Kristen, Nakisha Williams will now work for Tiffany as an Editorial Assistant helping her get up to speed and continuing her Product Finder and reporting responsibilities.

Lisa Tilson, whom we all know as one of our industrious interns, will replace Nakisha as the Editorial Assistant working for me and Kristen. She starts in her new role on January 7th. Prior to coming to InStyle.com, Lisa was an intern at MarthaStewart.com. She is a graduate of the University of Kansas where she worked on the Kansas Alumni Magazine and at the University Daily Kansan. She was also captain of the school’s swimming and diving teams.

Please do what you can to help Tiffany, Nakisha and Lisa transition to their new responsibilities.

Thanks.
Gail Glickman Horwood (my new boss)
Executive Director, InStyle.com


I expect more great things to come in 2008 :-P