Cheese Keeps on Moving

At my job there seems to be a new announcement/change every week.

Last week in October we were warned by an email from Ann Moore that the layoff axe was going to drop. For the next two weeks we got memo's of senior people choosing to "retire." Two weeks before Thanksgiving the layoffs officially started. So the next week was all about transition people's assignments to other people and/or figuring out what tasks were no longer essential. The week of Thanksgiving was short and bitter sweet. It was the last days for those that were laid off. The week after Thanksgiving was hectic as we adjusted to new responsibilities and missing the people that were once there. In my case, I also got the curve ball that we were moving offices, again. We were being integrated in to the magazine so now the magazine and website are all on one floor.

So now my big adjustment is that my new office is a cave or at least that is what I have nicknamed it. I used to have an office with 2 big windows. Mind you I was always facing my computer but it was nice to be able to do a weather or time check every now and then. Now I have an inside office with no window and it's dark. We have these sensor lights and because I make such slight movements when I'm at my computer it ALWAYS shuts off on me. So just imagine sitting in a windowless office at your computer and suddenly the lights go out. My computer monitor thus serves as a flashlight.

It's no secret that I HATE my new office. I'm not claustrophobic but sitting in a cave for 8+ hours is depressing. On the brighter side of things, at least I still have a job. But I wish I could work from home more. A lot of natural light floods my office in my apt. Oh well, it is what it is. The cheese has moved so I'm moving with it.

Travel Nightmare

My worst nightmare actually came true...but not for me.

My worst nightmare is to go on vacation and come back to find out that I don't have a job or that my home has been burned down or someone very close to me has died. Well one of these 3 things did actually happen to one of my friends.

One of my boys, who happens to love Vegas as much as I do, went on vacation and came back and was laid off from his job. He was out in LA and Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. Vegas is a good time and you can really spend some loot, not just gambling. But you don't really think about that when you go on a trip cause you know you can always make more money when you go home. That is unless you get laid off. And that is exactly what happened to him.

As much as I travel that is a HUGE fear for me. Because when I go on vacation I spend money. Mind you I always have a budget BUT if I blow my budget a little it shouldn't be that big of a deal right? WRONG. In this current economic state you just never know.

Today is my first day back from vacation so let's hope I still have my job AND that I can get in to my office (that's another blog for tomorrow).

Computer Love

Has anyone ever asked you to name one thing you can't live without? Sadly, for me, I can't live without my computer connected to the internet. A computer without an internet connection is just a box. It's the internet that makes it come alive and useful.

I can live without a phone...just chat on AIM or G-chat.
I can live without a TV...just watch TV on my computer.
I can live without a DVD Player...just watch movies on my computer.
I can live without a radio...just listen to music on my computer.
I can live without books, newspapers and magazines...just read on my computer.
I can live without physical stores...just shop on my computer.
I can live without going to a restaurant...just order food on my computer.

So when I go away and I don't have my computer I can still get all my emails on my phone. But it's not quite as comfortable typing an email on my Blackberry as it is on my computer. After about 2 days of not having a computer I begin to go through withdrawal.

One of my boys has been without a computer at home for a few months now. I would go crazy with frustration. If my computer was to break today I'd have to order a computer ASAP. Otherwise I would spend additional hours at work because I couldn't go home and be online.

I love my computer. It's the first thing I get on in the morning and the last thing I'm on before I go to sleep. I cannot live without my computer.

Bye Bye Vegas

I'm getting ready for my last vacation of the year. This one has special significance because this is also my Farewell to Vegas trip. For those who don't know I'm taking a break from Vegas for 2009. There is a pool for when/if I will break and fly to my beloved city in 2009 (if anyone is interested in placing a bet).

As with every Vegas trip I'm going to try and do a few things I have never done before in addition to some of my favorites. I really want this trip to be memorable since I know that I won't be back to Vegas for 12 months or even longer. I hope I don't cry when I have to get back on the plane and fly to NYC. Hopefully I'll be too happy, content and tired and the vision of Vegas show girls can dance in my head as I travel back east.

Given the economy this might actually be my last vacation for awhile. For 2009 the only planned trips I have is Obama's inauguration (which doesn't count) and my girlfriend's wedding in Atlanta. The inauguration doesn't count because D.C. is a short drive away and I'm staying with my sister. Atlanta is a trip because I have to get a flight, hotel room and rental car. So cost is the determining factor on what I call a trip/vacation.

I thought about trying to take a year off from traveling. Literally not going on any trips that involve flying or driving for more than 2 hours. But even I know travel is the one thing I can't give up.

Say Cheese

I've been reading and re-reading "Who Moved My Cheese?" A lot has been going on personally and professionally and the simple parable of the book keeps my spirits up and serves as a reminder. So I wanted to post the books reminders on my blog because I'm sure I'm not the only one that has to be reminded that the cheese (whatever your cheese is) will move and you have to be willing to move with it.

Change Happens

They Keep Moving The Cheese

Anticipate Change

Get Ready For The Cheese To Move

Monitor Change

Smell The Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old

Adapt To Change Quickly

The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese

Change

Move With The Cheese

Enjoy Change!

Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese!

Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again & Again

They Keep Moving The Cheese.

School's In

I've worked many different side hustles but I'm about to embark on one that puts my years of experience to use. A week from now I'll start teaching an online course, "Writing and Editing for the Web." People ask me all the time for advice on how to break in to the web, especially in today's job market. I think my course will be a good overview/introduction/starting point. At the end of my class a person will have a blog (if they don't have one), an improved blog (if they do have one) and a written piece ready for submission to a website. Best of all they will have a better understanding of the online industry.

So if you know anyone who might be interested in taking my class, send them the link. If my class doesn't fit their needs, I'm sure they can find others also offered by MediaBistro.

Spelling Bee

Nothing major in this post I just wanted to share a special memory.

So one Saturday night I was at home and Akeelah and the Bee was on Lifetime. That movie holds a special place in my heart because it provokes several good memories.

I saw the movie in Seattle with one of my mentors Reggie Stuart. We were in Seattle for the American Society of Newspaper Editors (ASNE) convention. So we are in the theater watching previews and the fire alarm goes off. They made us evacuate the building. They didn't know when we could go back in to the movie theater. So what did we do? We walked over to Starbucks (there is one on every corner in Seattle) and got a hot drink. Hopefully we could see the movie when we finished. Patience is a virtue that everyone knows I lack but I was with Reggie so I was good. We enjoyed our hot beverages and walked back over to the theater. We got to see the movie (it was worth the wait) and we each got 10 passes to see movies for free at any AMC theater. Of course I was sitting in the theater crying...I'm a sucker for a touching story. The movie makes me think of my time in Seattle and especially getting to spend some quality time with one of my mentors. That will always be one of my most special memories of Reggie.

The movie also makes me think of a guy I used to date. Back in December of 2005 I was preparing to leave Atlanta for a job at the New York Times. At the last minute I decided to spend New Year's Eve in NYC and bring some of my stuff home. I had a great New Year's Eve but New Year's Day was pretty cool too. I spent the day watching reruns of previous Scripps National Spelling Bees with the guy I was dating at the time. I know it sounds nerdy but we had such a good time. Too bad I'm not a good speller and thanks to technology I don't have to be. But I can appreciate the people who are.

And lastly this movie actually makes me think about another movie and another guy. I have never done a New York Times crossword puzzle but being the nerd that I am I can appreciate a movie about it and the people who are obsessed with it. Wordplay is a great documentary and because it's about words the movie Akeelah the Bee makes me think about it. My best memory associated with the movie is spending a Sunday morning cuddled in the bed with a guy I was dating. We had slept in and when we woke up I made breakfast. We ate breakfast in bed and watched Wordplay. I thought he would think I was a corny nerd but turns out he liked the movie and he was a nerd too.

I like movies that provoke feel good memories. So thanks Lifetime for the reminder.

Discomfort Food

We all have foods that for whatever reason we vow to never eat or drink again. It might not be the taste and more so the memory associated with it.

I have a serious aversion to Gatorade. Whenever I think of Gatorade I think of being sick and having to drink Gatorade to keep hydrated. I can't even publicly share the really really bad memory I have of Gatorade. But it's kind of ironic that a guy I have dated LOVES Gatorade. His favorite flavor is the one that I have the WORST memory of. I used to keep it stocked in my fridge for him. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

I also have an aversion to Ramen Noodles. It makes me think of the brokest time in my life, mainly college. I always vowed that I would never ever buy Ramen after I graduated college. It became a personal goal because Ramen, in my head, represents being broke and struggling to survive. Again, same guy LOVED Ramen. He would buy it for me when I was sick. But technically I didn't break my vow because he bought it, not me.

I like bananas, I don't like bananas is my cereal. The texture of a banana combined with corn flakes or cheerios I just don't like. I have a kinda strange memory associated with this one. My Dad died when I was 6 but some things I distinctly remember about him. Like how he would try to get me to eat cereal for breakfast and would put bananas in it. I wouldn't eat it. He would call my Mom at work complaining that I wasn't eating. And Mom would ask, well what did you try to feed her, she's kinda picky about her food. He would mention the bananas and Mom would tell him to make another bowl, minus the bananas. But no matter how many times my Mom would tell him this he would never remember. So once a month we would have this banana in my cereal situation. To my Dad's credit, he worked a lot and so it was only about once a month where he was 100% solely responsible for getting me breakfast. Most days my Mom or Grandma handled that task. Honestly, looking back, I wish I could sit down with my Dad for breakfast. I'd eat whatever he gave me.

What are your discomfort foods? Are there foods that provoke a certain negative memory for you? Enough talk about food...let's EAT. Happy Thanksgiving

Comfort Food

There are certain foods that make me feel good. And it's not because the food tastes so great but because I have a particular happy memory attached to them.

The other day I was at my side hustle and I noticed there were Lorna Doone's in the vending machine. I IMMEDIATELY had to have them. I haven't had Lorna Doone's in years but when I think of Lorna Doone's I think of my Grandmother. It was something she would give us as a treat.

I'm almost 30 years old and for as long as I can remember I have eaten Chef Boyardee's Beefaroni. If you come to my apt, I always have at least 1 can in the cabinet. Again, this is another food I associate with memories of my Grandmother. And she didn't have the pleasure of a microwave or the new single serve microwave containers. I remember her heating it up on the stove for me for lunch.

Whenever I get sick I HAVE to have chicken noodle soup from a chinese takeout. Especially if whatever that has me sick is making me throw up. For some odd reason I can deal better with that coming back up then say Gatorade or ginger ale. As a kid I would throw up the soup and a few hours later ask for more. I know, not the most comfortable memory, but my point is that it always makes me feel better and if not, I don't mind throwing it back up. LOL

What are your comfort foods? Are there foods that provoke a certain memory for you? Tomorrow I'll talk about discomfort foods. I know the timing for such a topic might be weird but it might make me appreciate my Thanksgiving dinner even more.

Disproportionate

I don't want to be one of those Black people that ALWAYS thinks someone is out to get my race BUT is it me or are Black people disproportionately more affected than other races in negative situations?

With the recent housing crisis it seems that a larger number of Black people were negatively affected by sub-prime mortgages than any other race. If the auto industry went under, as one Black journalist put it, "a good brunt of Detroit area's Black middle-class and the businesses it supports," would be disproportionately affected.

When layoffs occur at a lot of these companies, but media companies in particular, the percentage of Black people is already low to begin with. So when you layoff one Black person that could equal a high percentage. I'll use my own job as an example. Before we had layoffs our team was 17 people. Of those 17 people, 3 were Black (including myself). The staff was about 18% Black. Well my 2 Black co-workers were laid off (leaving just me) and we lost another staff member so we are down to a team of 14 people. So the staff is now about 7% Black. If you were to just look at percentages and not number of people we took an 11% loss of Black employees (also can be called an 11% loss in diversity). It is ridiculous that I now represent 7% and if I was to be laid off they would be at ZERO.

I'm sure we were all told growing up that life is not always fair. But when I stop and think about the current state of affairs for Black people it just seems like life is less fair for us. I don't know, maybe it is just that recessive Black people conspiracy theory gene we inherited from our ancestors.

My Love Affair

I have been having an affair for the past four years. With each passing year the bond grows stronger and stronger. I have tried many times to let go and move on. Saying this will be the last time. But I'm always drawn back....to LAS VEGAS!!!!

It's very obvious that Las Vegas is by far one of my favorite cities and on the top of my list of places I like to travel too. It started in December 2004. It was my first trip to Las Vegas. For me, I was in love from the moment my plane landed.

And I just keep going back. Twice a year...three times a year...four times a year. I just can't get enough. I bought a timeshare there and that was the reality check. I cancelled it before I got too connected.

I have told EVERYONE and no one seems to believe me but for 2009 I'm taking the year off from Vegas. I don't care what is happening there...I don't care if I have a free place to stay, free airline ticket, whatever it is...I will not be going to Las Vegas in 2009. There are so many other places I have never been too before I can't continue to waste precious vacation time and money on the same city.

So I'm going back to Las Vegas. One more time to say goodbye. I'm hoping that I can get tickets to the boxing match that will be going on the weekend while I'm there. It would be a symbolic example of the struggle I have in my Vegas affair to have my last trip to my beloved city end with a fight.

I know, I know... 2009 won't be the same for me without Vegas. But we have to go our seperate ways for a time. See what other places I can visit. You know you truly love something when you are able to let it go...no matter how badly letting go hurts. The seperation may be good for us. And maybe, when we see each other again, it will be like we never broke up...it will be love at first sight all over again.

Family Pet

I blogged about the funniest report on the first family. Today I'm going to blog on the second funniest report. So much attention has been given to what the first family pet will be. I was actually amazed to learn that there are hypo-allergenic cats and dogs.

Growing up, my home was animal kingdom. We had cats, dogs, rabbits, mice, hamsters, gerbils, snakes, ferrets, fish, hermit crabs...just about any critter that it is legal to have as a pet. In middle school I developed asthma and severe allergies. But when I was tested for allergens I wasn't allergic to my pets. Good thing, cause I think my mom might have gotten rid of me before them. J/K So it wasn't until I went off to college that I fully lost my immunity to furballs.

I have always wanted to have a pet. As much as I like dogs they are just too much work. If a pet relied on me to be on a regular schedule in order to be able to walk them or feed them, they would be in a world of trouble. But I have always loved cats because they are self sufficient. You don't have to take them to the kennel. Just make sure if you are going away that you leave a clean litter box and enough food/water for them to go about their business.

So I'm thinking about getting a cat if I can find some hypo-allergenic kinds. BUT I also don't want to become the cat lady. I think cats can kill a dating life because I know so few men who actually like cats.

I'm also going to talk to my asthma/allergy specialist about tackling my allergies head on. It would require me getting a shot twice a week for the next year or two. And that is a serious commitment I don't know I can maintain. I miss my chiropractor appointments all the time and that's supposed to be twice a week every week.

Do you know of any hypo-allergenic cat types? Anyone inspired by the first family to adopt an animal? Anyone had success with allergy shot therapy?

The Changing Media Landscape

Every year we talk about "the changing media landscape." But the media is changing in a way I could have never imagined.

In my short career I have seen several cycles of layoffs and buyouts in newspapers. I began my career in magazines at a time when they were going through buyouts. But I have never seen anything like this before. Media is shrinking and not just at print publications. I work at a website and was always told and taught that online was the "safe" media but when your website is tied to a print publication there is no safety.

I just want this period to be over. The daily reports of people being laid off here and laid off there. You can only take so much bad news before you mentally or emotionally breakdown. We won't get back to normal but we will figure out what the new normal is. When the dust has cleared what will the media landscape look like?

Personal Censorship

I don't like censoring myself. I consider myself a very open person. I share a lot about myself. I don't feel like I have anything to hide. But recently I had to put A LOT of people on limited profiles and I essentially had to edit my Facebook.

When it comes to Facebook I think it's a good reflection of my work/life balance. At work I work hard but when it's time to play, I play. Anyone who looks at my Facebook pictures might notice a few patterns. Like when I go out I tend to wear things that show off my legs, I think they are my best asset. I go to Vegas...A LOT...a lot of my pictures are from various trips to Vegas. I like stripper poles. Stripper poles are fun, sexy and a great prop to pose with :)

But I'm beginning to truly understand how everyone that is my Facebook friend is not really my friend. And some of those people don't know me or don't know me that well. So they see a picture of me posing with a pole and want to use it to judge me or to call in to question my performance at work. If anything, when I see photos of someone having fun outside of work on Facebook it helps me to see how well rounded and hopefully grounded they are.

We live in the United States where freedoms such as freedom of speech and expression is a bedrock of our nation. But I must now make sure to self-censor myself. And I hate it. So excuse me while I go check my Facebook friends list and see who else I need to add to the limited profile list.

Grounded

My one vice is travel. I travel more than the average person but less than the average business person. I average about one trip a month. But the airlines are determined to ground me.

One by one the airlines have been adding fees for checked luggage. I've never had a problem with them charging for 2 or more bags. But to charge me for my 1 bag that I have to check because of the liquids inside is just unfair. What I think sucks most about the baggage fee is that you have to pay both ways. So on top of the airline ticket you have to pay $30 plus just for your luggage.

The number of airlines that don't charge for checked bags was down to 3: Airtran, JetBlue and Southwest. Then the announcement came on Friday, my beloved Airtran would be charging for checked bags as well. What is a leisure traveler like myself supposed to do? Southwest does not fly out of NYC. So I'm not going to drive to Philly just to get a plane, I might as well pay the baggage fee. I like JetBlue but it doesn't fly every where I want to fly and it only flies out of JFK. I prefer to fly out of LGA, it's closer to my apt.

I'm not really sure how I'm going to deal with this change. On shorter trips it won't be a problem. I just came back from Atlanta and I carried on and kept my liquids to a minimum. But what will I do about longer trips? I have to go back to Atlanta in February and even though it will just be for a weekend I'm going to a wedding and I don't want the dress I'm wearing to be crushed in to a small carry on. I'm thinking about paying for the baggage fee one way and then just rolling the dress on the way back so I can carry it on. It won't matter that it's wrinkled for my trip home.

How are the fees for checked baggage affecting your travel? What, if anything, will you do differently when you have to fly?

Don't Take It Personnel

Before all my copy editor friends jump on me I used the word personnel instead of personal for a reason.

In my career I have always been fortunate to stay ahead of the curve...AND ahead of the cuts. When the Philadelphia Inquirer had a huge layoff that would have directly affected me if I was still working there, I was at the Atlanta Journal Constitution. When the AJC had several rounds of cuts I was already working in New York. I haven't based my career on moving on and moving up before the cuts come, it's always been coincidental.

Who hasn't been indirectly affected by layoffs? Every layoff has a domino effect even when the layoff wasn't at your place of employment. I've also been fortunate that I have never had to let any of my employees go or watch as co-workers I have grown close too, had to leave....until now.

I'm sure everyone has read the news reports about how Time Inc is cutting close to 600 people. For weeks it has been this state of anxiety. Who will stay...who will go...how will I be affected. We knew the cuts were coming and they were going to affect everyone. The cuts were going to hit at all levels and everyone would have to make sacrifices. Do more with less and still get it all done. I knew this. I expected this. I thought I even had prepared a plan to deal with this. Because this is the way of our professional culture. But knowing all this didn't make the cuts any less surprising.

Some that were cut were on my team. They worked directly with me and for me. It's a double edged reality. On one hand I am happy to still have my job. As I tell anyone that asks me, I love what I do. Every job has it's good or bad days but the position I have is perfect for my type-A personality (see I said it, for my friends who think I refuse to admit that I'm type-A). But on the other hand I hate to see anyone lose their job and ESPECIALLY anyone that is on my team. It's hard for me to think about them not being there. They helped me to transition when I switched publications.

The sad reality of today's layoffs is that it's not about performance. When your position is being eliminated it has little to do with how well you have done. Most companies do not have another position they can move you too. Sadly it is a numbers game and any of our numbers can be pulled.

So to anyone who has been laid off or might get laid off...Don't take it personal. It's not about people but personnel.

First Family Fascination

Is it me or have people not been this fascinated with/by a first family since the Kennedy's? The news outlets report on EVERYTHING about them.

I think the funniest report thus far has been the secret service names for the family. I don't know if white fraternities and sororities give members line names but BUT black greek organizations do. And the first families secret service names sound like line names.

Barack Obama = Renegade
Michelle Obama = Renaissance
Sasha Obama = Rosebud
Malia Obama = Radiance

Personally I think these will be Malia and Sasha's line names when they go to college. Daughters of the first black president and their Mom is an AKA...they need to just make them honorary AKA's, pass go and give them their letters NOW.

HNIC

I had a random thought. We always joke about who is the HNIC or being the HNIC and NOW we know who the HNIC is...Barack Obama. He is our nation's HNIC elected to be THE HNIC. Personally, I think I'm the HBIC and if you get on my bad side you will quickly find out what I mean.

For those of you who don't know what HNIC stands for I suggest:
1. Seeing the movie "Lean on Me"
2. Looking it up in the Urban Dictionary

For those of you who don't know what HBIC stands for I suggest:
1. Watching the first two seasons of "Flavor of Love"
2. Looking it up in the Urban Dictionary

Public Housing

I was in Atlanta this weekend. It was both a business trip and a pleasure trip. I went to check on my house...the one that I can't sell so I'm just trying to make sure it stays rented out. I also went to one of my closest friends 30th birthday party and then her bridal shower the next day. So I killed three birds with one stone.

When I lived in Atlanta I used to attend New Birth Missionary Baptist Church where Bishop Eddie Long is the Senior Pastor. I had an overwhelming desire to go to church no matter how late I was going to stay out the night before. So not only did I go to church but I went to early morning service (how I didn't fall asleep in service was a miracle in itself.)

Bishop Long said something very interesting in his sermon. He said Barack Obama and his family were about to move in to public housing hopefully for the next 8 years. Public housing...interesting term to apply to the White House BUT it is 100% true. It's just not what people typically think of when you say public housing.

Projects, PJ's, public housing, section 8, whatever you want to call it I grew up in public housing. There were kids in my neighborhood who thought I was only visiting family that lived there. They didn't believe I lived there because I was a ghetto nerd. I could hang out in the alley ways but I also spoke correct English. Yes, the fact that I used English more than slang meant to the other kids that I must not live there.

But just think if all the kids that are living/growing up in public housing thought of the White House as another type of public housing that they could aspire to live in. I think it could be a huge motivating factor.

Personally I am blown away by the thought that the house that slaves built is now going to be the home of a black president. Just proving once again that life is a circular cycle.

Tears of Joy

Not sure what's going on these days but I have been crying a lot lately. And it's not because I'm sad. It's because I'm happy...touched...moved...amazed...pick any positive adjective and it fits. Lately it doesn't take much for me to get all teary eyed. And no it's not hormones or PMS...I'm on the birth control shot and haven't had a visit from mother nature in quite some time.

I cried election night and several times throughout the rest of the week in relation to Obama winning. I cried when I read this article from the Washington Post about a former butler in the White House. You have to read it all the way to the end to see what touched my heart strings.

I got teary again when I was landing in Atlanta. I love Atlanta. It will always be my home away from home. I was just so happy knowing that I was going to see my friends and I was looking forward to spending the day with my best friend/sister and partying with my ATL friends.

Growing up I always thought crying was a sign of weakness. If I had to cry I would find some place to privately do it. Even at a very young age, 6, when my dad died I didn't want anyone to see me cry. So I locked myself in the bathroom and when my family wouldn't leave me alone, I ran in to a bedroom and crawled under the bed. My tears were my own.

Nowadays I've softened my stance on PDT (public display of tears). One of my girlfriends even posted a picture of me on Facebook from election night where I was both crying and smiling. So tears are okay and I prefer tears of joy to tears of sadness.

Dead Tree Sell Out

I can never, ever, ever remember a day where every single newspaper across the country SOLD OUT!!! At a time when newspapers are shrinking and magazines are following suit it was a refreshing reminder. When it comes to momentous occasions people want to have something in print to remember it. A website link is not as valuable when it comes to historical posterity.

I grew up with newspapers being a daily part of my life. My grandmother was an avid newspaper reader. Every day while eating breakfast before school my grandmother and I would read the newspaper. New York Daily News and The Record were the two papers we read every morning. When my sister came home from working in NYC she would bring a copy of the New York Times and New York Post. Newspapers was how we stayed informed and sparked many a conversation. I still read the newspaper everyday. I pick up AMNY and Metro every day and I read Washington Post and The New York Times online.

I could tell you how much I normally spend on newspapers a year. ZERO. But for this historic occasion I spent $.50 on the New York Daily News, $.50 on the New York Post, $16.20 on the New York Times (ordered it at nytstore.com), and $7.45 on USA Today (ordered it from usatoday.com). I'm still debating if I want to spend $59.95 for the Washington Post* (or just wait until I go to D.C. for the inauguration) and if I want to order the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun Times. Basically I spent more in one day on newspapers than I have spent in the last year. And subscriptions are cheap so if you add up what I spent that at least equals a weekend subscription to the New York Times.

But I, like most people in my generation, relies heavily on the Internet. I used to subscribe to newspapers but they would pile up and pile up and I never got around to reading them like I wanted too. The guilt of not having time to read the newspaper on a daily basis is one of the main reasons young people cite for not subscribing to the newspaper.

If I some day have children I want to be able to pull out the newspapers I have saved from major historic events. I think it would make my grandmother proud.

*I just found another area of The Washington Post.com that is selling copies of the paper for much cheaper. If you want the EXPENSIVE reprint of the page it's here

Back On The Blog

What would it take for me to return to the blogosphere...you guessed it. A BLACK PRESIDENT! But since the focus of my blog is dating and relationships I'm going to talk about the relationships with family and friends.

First, yesterday was personally historic for me. Three generations of my family voted yesterday. I wish I could have gotten a picture of my mother, brother and myself in line at the polls early in the morning. Or my niece in Ohio voting in her first election. (Thanks Ohio!) Or my niece in NJ, also voting in her first election. Or my uncle in Virginia (we did win Virginia right?) Or all my other family members who are spread across the east coast that represented at the polling booths. Is there some kind of cliche I can insert here about families that vote together? Like a family that votes together don't go broke together...or something like that. If not, oh well...it was still a historic day for me personally.

Next, I gotta give some love to all my friends. From my friends that were with me (Heights Crew) when the announcement happened and understood why I could not stop crying. To my best friend in Chicago who was texting me from the rally. To my friends in Atlanta who were also feeling blessed despite Georgia electorate going the other way. To my facebook friends, the status message updates just say it all. To ALL my journo friends who kept the inbox over flowing. To Poppa K who was emailing me and by far he is the biggest Obama supporter I personally know.

I have to thank my American family. That's right, my fellow Americans. You helped to make Martin Luther King Jr's dream a reality. A dream deferred is now a dream realized. This was his dream and I am alive to experience it.

Last but not least I have to thank my ancestors. There are just so many people who I wish were alive to see this. My great grandmother who never talked about her family and there was a complete disconnect because she married a black man. My great grandfather, a self-educated business man, who never got to meet his full potential because of racism. My grandmother who experienced so much racism as a child and was the first person to talk to me about politics. My father who always said and believed some day there will be a black president.

Even now just thinking about how far black people have come, how far America has come, its an overwhelming joy. From 9/11/01 to Barack Obama in 08, who could have imagined this.

The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough

I read this article and I was so irritated by what it said. It's basically an article saying if you want to be married and have a family, settle. SETTLE!?!?!?

Settling is bullshit. I don't expect perfection. I have very realistic expectations of what I want out of a spouse...a life mate. Ultimately all I want is to be loved by that person and I shouldn't have to settle for him liking me but not loving me or me liking him but not loving him.

I really do want someone who loves me....I want someone who I am #1 with...someone who 100% wants to be with me and I 100% want to be with him. I shouldn't have to settle for the guy that is interested in me even if I'm not really feeling him.

I realize 30 is around the corner and like one of my closest friends that is turning 30 this year I'm starting to accept that maybe I won't get married and have kids. But I'd rather be single than settling. I still have hope. I still believe there is someone out there for me. Is getting married by 30 looking likely, no...but I'm not going to settle and marry anyone just to be married by 30.

This article was a jolt to my system. It came at a time when I was questioning a situation I was in. I had no choice but to acknowledge that I was settling for a situation I wasn't really happy with rather than having nothing. I was settling for the more than friends but less than being the girlfriend he truly loved and was committed too scenario. I had to choose to love myself enough and not continue to be in that situation. It's not easy. It's extremely hard to love someone and put time and energy in to making something work. And then to have to accept defeat...that your best wasn't good enough and that you couldn't make the situation work for both people.

He once said we would probably be better off apart. I hope he's right. But even if he's wrong...I'm not settling for less than what I want or less than what I feel I deserve. I deserve to be someone's girlfriend, straight up, real title, full commitment...not the chick that you've been dating and everyone knows you are together but it ain't really official. I've been that chick one too many times in my life and I don't like being her. Ultimately I deserve to be someone's wife. I'm a tenderoni, around the way, homey, lover, friend, ride or die chick. And a man that can appreciate all aspects of that about me is out there.

Miscommunication

I think one of my biggest hinderances in dating, besides my hectic schedule, is the way in which I communicate. Funny thing for a journalist to be saying. But it's true. Just like you can be sexually incapatible you can be incompatible in the way you communicate.

I communicate best through IM, email and text messages. The last relationships as well as guys I have dated I got to know in those ways. It works for me because it allows me to multitask. So if a guy is the type that likes to talk for hours on end on the phone we are immediately incompatible. Time spent talking on the phone we could be on a date.

I'm just too busy and have too many things to do to spend a large amount of time yapping on a phone. But I can talk on IM for HOURS because I'm doing 30 other things while IMing.

When it cames to dating I'm my own worst enemy...from the way I communicate to how much time I have to devote to dating/getting to know someone to the standards/expectations I have. But I haven't given up hope...I'm a Pisces...we love to love...my Mr. Right is out there and we are just waiting to stumble upon each other.

NYC Lease Renewal

I just went through my first rent renewal process and I couldn't have done it without the help of friends. So before I even tell the story I want to thank Poppa K, Skizzle and German Girl.

First the back story. When I moved to NYC in January of 2006 I had challenges many people do not have. Most people move to NYC after college, somewhere in their early twenties, and they don't have any or a lot of furniture. So they can just about pick any nice apt and furnish it once they move. I moved to NYC after owning a home in ATL. And even after selling off some of my furniture I still had a lot of stuff. So SPACE was a HUGE challenge for me. I won't do a full recap you can see the blog I wrote in 2006 on the search and when I actually found my apt.

Fastforward to January 2008 and it's time to renew my lease. Maybe I am naive but given the economy I was expecting my management company to offer me the same rent if I sign a two year lease or a slightly higher rent and of course a big increase if I only wanted a one year lease renewal. I was wrong on all fronts. The landlord wanted $175 more a month if I signed a two year lease and a $205 increase if I wanted a two year lease. First off, what happened to the incentive to stay. You would think the lower increase would be offered on the longer lease term. Second, $175 represents an 11% increase in rent. My first thought was, is that even legal. That's double the rate of inflation.

So I called the management company and they told me I needed to write a letter requesting a rent negotiation and to support my case. I did that but you know me, I always have a Plan B so I started apt searching. One Saturday I looked at 7 apts. They were all nice, newly renovated BUT they were all too small. They were all liveable and I would recommend them to anyone but they were too small for me.

Next I went to see a few brokers and they all told me the same thing. My building/complex is a rare gem given the amenities, size, cost and location. Let's start with size. I have a Junior 4 - 1 bedroom. I had no idea what that really meant. Basically I have a dining room area and a den/office area that most 1 bedrooms don't have. I'm like okay, so what's the big deal about that. According to these brokers the layout/size of a Junior 4 - 1 bedroom is so different from a standard 1 bedroom that I would need to find another Junior 4 or a 2 bedroom. I take for granted the amenities I have like doorman, elevator building, security guards, laundry in the building, parking in the back, dishwasher, microwave, air conditioners. I was considering moving to Brooklyn to Flatbush Gardens but no doorman, laundry was in a another building a block away, no dishwasher, no microwave, no air conditioners. You really can't beat Central Harlem. I live 2 blocks from the 2/3 trains. And to the east, 10 blocks away is Metro North, the 4, 5 and 6 trains. To the west about 5 blocks is the A, C and E trains. I'm in the middle of it all.

Last but not least, cost. One of my friends from college moved in to my apartment complex in November. He is paying $295 a month more than I pay in rent. If you go to the website for my complex they are charging almost market rate for apartments. A studio is $1,350, a 1 bedroom is $1,630, a 1 bedroom with terrace is $1,805, a Junior 4 is $1,920 and a 2 bedroom is $2,670. I can't believe it's that expensive in Harlem.

After doing some market research and looking at several apartments I just hoped and prayed my letter to management would work so I wouldn't have to move. I HATE moving and I LOVE my apartment. My letter was two pages long and included everything from the rate of inflation to reasons why they should continue to have me as a tenant to how renewing my lease at a lower rate was saving them money. The letter was GREAT and if anyone is going through a lease renewal negotiation, email me and I will send you a copy so you can adjust it for your needs. My letter was soooo good that I'm presenting at the next tenant's association meeting about how to negotiate a rent renewal.

I called on Friday and they said the decision letter was being mailed that afternoon and they couldn't tell me over the phone. Saturday when I got home from work the new paperwork was in the mail. They agreed to a $105 increase in rent (about 6% increase) a month if I signed a two year lease vs. the initial $205 increase in rent a month if I signed a two year lease. I signed, sent it back and it's all good. I'm staying in Harlem for another two years AND I can still stick to my new year's goals of downsizing on the side hustles and I'll still be able to afford my apt.

Special K Diet

For the last two weeks I have been on the Special K Diet. If you have never heard of the diet here's the website to design your own plan http://www.specialk.com/?id=challenge

Now I know you are thinking, why are you, of all people, trying to lose weight. The diet says you can lose up to 6 lbs in two weeks. But my goal wasn't to lose a certain amount of weight it was about fitting in to a pair of jeans. My girlfriend Brooke helped me to purge my closet Steve Gunn style. (Gotta watch Project Runway to know who he is.) And hidden in the back of my closet I had these size 1 Calvin Klein jeans. Brooke said, you will never fit in to those jeans. They went up my legs fine, the hard part was fastening them. So I said I would go on the Special K diet and I would be able to fit in to those jeans.

Basically the diet is you eat a bowl of Special K for breakfast, a bowl of Special K for lunch, have the Special K snacks or fruit, yogurt, etc. in between and you eat a healthy dinner. I had to slightly vary this up because of course I decided to start this diet in the middle of NYC Restaurant Week. There were days I would eat the cereal for breakfast, have a normal lunch and then eat the cereal for dinner.

BUT my problem was whatever that one normal meal was I would go overboard because I was soooooo hungry. Like one day for lunch I had a sandwich, apple, granola bar, yogurt, bag of potato chips, brownie, small pasta salad, small soup and a soda. Probably NOT what they had in mind when they said normal meal...but for me, and anyone who really knows me, that is a normal meal. Another day I had Wendy's: chicken blt salad with extra honey mustard dressing, baked potato with broccoli, bacon and cheese, chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce, a large Sprite and a large frosty. Again, probably not a normal meal but for me, I consider that a healthy meal. I probably shouldn't have gotten the extra dressing or the cheese on the potato.

Once restaurant week was over I got better about the diet. My next problem would be the snacks at work. It seems like there are always cookies, brownies, cupcakes, fudge...something so good but so bad if you are on a diet. Needless to say I cheated on the diet...a lot. But the one thing I didn't do was try on the jeans every day to see how I was doing. I just said to myself wait until the end, it will be worth it. But I had already noticed my other clothes fitting a little different. Other jeans I have weren't as tight as before and some of my dress pants and skirts for work were a little loose too.

But it's day 14, the day of judgment. I got up this morning and I looked at the jeans and I looked at my belly that still hasn't gone down from the fabulous dinner I had at Ruby Tuesday's with my Mom and Sister. I walked over to my mirror and tried the jeans on.

The legs were never an issue but I think they slipped on a little easier than they did two weeks ago. But the true test would be if I could fasten the jeans. And without having to lay on the bed or the floor they fastened. YEAH SPECIAL K!!!!

But the diet isn't over. I've decided that the diet wasn't so bad. I never had mood swings or nightmares about food or any of the things a lot of people experience when they are dieting so I'm going to keep going at least for another week. I guess when I run out of cereal and snacks I'll stop. Plus I'm going to New Orleans the end of this week for NBA All-Star and I plan on EATING...a lot. Gumbo, crawfish, beignets, po'boys...oh I can't wait.

I didn't step on a scale before or after the diet so I have no idea how much weight I lost and I really don't care. I don't think a pound or two up or down can really hurt anyone. I suggest this diet for anyone who doesn't mind eating a lot of cereal or drinking a lot of milk. Special K has lots of varieties to keep you from getting bored with the cereal. I also think this diet is good for someone not looking for huge or dramatic results. If you are just trying to lose a few pounds in two weeks, it works. I actually think if I hadn't overloaded during my one normal meal a day I probably would have lost a little more.

Ultimately I probably just need to join a gym and do some situps. A new gym is opening 1 subway stop away from me and they are only charging $20 a month membership. Given that my company will reiumburse me for half of the gym membership I'm considering joining. The deciding factor will be if they offer classes cause just working out on equipment doesn't keep me motivated. Getting back in shape is one of my goals for 2008 so I'm going to do my research on gyms before I join.

Mother & Daughters

My sister just turned 50. It's a huge accomplishment to live that long. I wanted to do something special for the occasion. So I bought my sister and mom tickets to see the Color Purple on Broadway before it ends it's run. But before the show I took my sister and mom to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner.



It was the first time in a long time that all three of us were together. My sister and I haven't always gotten along especially in the last few years. But since her move to Maryland she is a lot happier and I'm happy for her. She was the sister I remembered the one who was always laughing and making others laugh but at the same time you knew she wouldn't take no crap. Today was one of those days I will cherish. It's about making memories and this will be a good one.

New Year, New Job

When I said in my Goals for 2008 that I was planning on making major career moves in the new year I was very serious. Effective January 7, I will no longer be with Sports Illustrated. I'm staying within the Time Inc. company and moving over to InStyle.com as the Editorial Producer.

Below is the official announcement:

Please join me in welcoming Tiffany Black to InStyle.com as Editorial Producer starting January 7th. Tiffany is currently a producer at SI.com for the mySI product and manages NFL game day blogging. She was formerly a sports producer at the New York Times on the Web. Before coming to New York, Tiffany worked online for the Atlanta-Journal Constitution and the Philadelphia Inquirer. Tiffany is a graduate of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. She was born and raised in Hackensack, New Jersey and currently lives in Harlem. Tiffany will report to Kristen Beirne.

After more than a year of assisting me and Kristen, Nakisha Williams will now work for Tiffany as an Editorial Assistant helping her get up to speed and continuing her Product Finder and reporting responsibilities.

Lisa Tilson, whom we all know as one of our industrious interns, will replace Nakisha as the Editorial Assistant working for me and Kristen. She starts in her new role on January 7th. Prior to coming to InStyle.com, Lisa was an intern at MarthaStewart.com. She is a graduate of the University of Kansas where she worked on the Kansas Alumni Magazine and at the University Daily Kansan. She was also captain of the school’s swimming and diving teams.

Please do what you can to help Tiffany, Nakisha and Lisa transition to their new responsibilities.

Thanks.
Gail Glickman Horwood (my new boss)
Executive Director, InStyle.com


I expect more great things to come in 2008 :-P

Goals for 2008

As my copy editing teacher Raleigh Mann used to love to say, "Keep It Simple Stupid." (KISS). So I try to keep my goals/resolutions fairly simple and very attainable. Last year I really only had three major goals and I think I'm going to keep them on my list for this year and add a few more. But I think this year will be focused around three major themes: finances, career and health & fitness.

FINANCES
Under finances I have a few goals I would like to obtain:

1. Increase my 401K contributions
The first ten years of contributions to your 401K are so important in the long term so I would like to get up to putting in 10% of my salary versus just maxing out the company match contribution.

2. Rainy Day Fund
I unofficially have a financial adviser whom I call Poppa K. He's always getting on me to make sure I have an account that has at least 6 months of expenses in it because you just never know. This by far has been the hardest goal to reach but I understand the importance of it and I want to do it.

3. Pay Down Debt
The debt consolidation was the best thing I could have ever done in 2007. (Thanks Poppa K). You wouldn't believe how much easier and how much faster I see results in the reduction of my debt because I'm paying to one place instead of several. I just make one large payment and it has freed up some of my money. Now that I have consolidated my debt I want to put more towards paying it off sooner. I'd like to have it paid off by December 2008 but even if I don't hit this goal I know by 2009 it will be.

CAREER
I plan on making major career moves in the new year and to do that I need to do the following:

1. Enroll in management classes and training programs
I actually got this great idea from one of my mentors Sandra Long, Managing Editor at the Philadelphia Inquirer. (I have several great mentors) She suggested several classes and programs to build my skills and help me to obtain my professional goals.

2. Classes, classes and more classes
I work part-time at Mediabistro.com and one of the benefits of working there that I have never capitalized on is that I get to take classes and seminars for free. So I made a list of the classes I want to take through March and had my boss enroll me. I'm looking forward to the free professional development. I also want to take a writing class with Sue Shapiro at the New School in the Fall BUT I will only be able to do that if the next goal happens otherwise I won't have the time.

3. Take control of my workaholism
I actually tried to resign from one of my part-time jobs but they readjusted the job to better suit my needs so I'm staying BUT in 2008 I have to quit working so many additional jobs. This is a HUGE problem for me because I like my jobs, I enjoy working, it keeps me focused and balanced. The additional money has helped me to do things like buy windows for my Mom's house and pay off credit cards and just have fun in NYC. But I know I need to eventually quit some of my hustles so my goal is to quit by summer and hopefully in the fall launch my own company. That would put me at one full time job and one side hustle that is my own business.

4. Get Published
Several of the classes I'll be taking in 2008 through my part-time job are writing classes. So I would like to get at least one of the articles I write for these classes published. I'm targetting the pieces I write to either a women's magazine or the modern love column in the New York Times. Mia always has plenty to say about dating and relationships but is it compelling enough to get published in the New York Times?

HEALTH & FITNESS
Last but not least is health & fitness. First my two goals from last year go back on the list.

1. Get back in shape
My problem is that I work so much I don't leave a lot of time for exercise. But I know I need to either get back in to dance classes or join a gym and hire a personal trainer to keep me motivated and on target.

2. Keep on cooking
I have been purging my home for the new year and I finally put all the recipes I have saved from Essence magazine into a binder. So my goal is to try at least one recipe a month. Doesn't sound like a lot but even cooking once a month for me is a lot.

3. Read more books
For some this may not fall in to the health and fitness category BUT I have a hard time focusing. I always need to be doing 10 things at once. But reading requires undivided attention and thus it is a means for me to learn to relax more. This year I read 15 books so my goal for 2008 is to read 30 books. I'm already off to a good start thanks to the help of my girlfriends who started a book club. That's a guaranteed 12 books. And I have so many books on my bookshelves collecting dust. I also want to finish the Left Behind Series of books I started reading this year. So if I do that I'll be sure to hit 30. Being the over achiever I am I would say I want to read 30 by the summer but I'm going to cut myself some slack and just strive towards having 30 books read by the end of next year.

And there you have it...my goals for 2008. So as you can see I have a lot of things I want to achieve in 2008 but I think they are all very attainable and there is enough variety in the things I want to do that I can do more than one thing at one time and for me that is the key to reaching any goals I set for myself.

BUT I'm going to need your help. I need my friends to support me and push me. Every now and then ask if I have worked on any of my goals. People I care about and who I know care about me holding me accountable keeps me on target. I should probably print out this blog and hang it up on the fridge at home and on my bulletin board at work. This year I didn't revisit my goals but surprisingly I did work on all of them throughout the year.

What are your goals for the new year? What are some things you would like to accomplish in the first 3 months, 6 months and by the end of 2008?

Goals for 2007 Recap

It's that time of year when you take a look back and then plan for the future.

So in looking back I looked at the 3 goals I set for myself this year and how I did in achieving or not achieving them.

1. Pay off some credit cards
Every year I gain more ground with this goal. This year I decided to take out a debt consolidation loan and it has changed my life. I'm on track to be credit card debt free by September of 2009. But I'm an overachiever so I'm hoping to pay it off sooner than that.

2. Get back in shape
I didn't do as well as I hoped with this goal. I started taking salsa and hip hop classes in the beginning of 2007 but didn't continue with it throughout the year.

3. Keep on cooking
I still don't cook as often as I should or could. I realize my problem is that cooking requires focus and I'm a multi-tasker. It's very hard for me to do one thing at a time. I can't cook and watch TV or cook and talk on the phone because that's a recipe for disaster. I did burn the hell out of myself again this year, making cupcakes...I know who burns themselves making cupcakes. But I have perfected my gumbo, my cornish hens are always juicy and my yellow rice and peas never fail as a great side dish.

So overall I'm happy with how I progressed in 2007 but there is always room for improvement in 2008.

My 2008 Shopping List/Wish List

Dear Santa,

I have been a very very good girl this year. Ok, well maybe I haven't, but I still want the following:

- New Computer(s)
My desktop and laptop are on their last downloads.

- Fry Daddy
This is the best solution I can think of so I can fry food and not burn the hell out of myself. Reference burn marks on right wrist.

- Watch
I want to know what time it is.

- Earrings
It's been so long since I wore a pair of earrings that I need to get some earrings before the holes in my earlobes close.

- Sex and the City: The Complete Series (Collector's Giftset)
Back on the list again. This one has been on my list since the show ended.

- Sex and the City Essentials
Hasn't been on the list as long but I still want it.

- Wine
Wines of choice are: Rosa Regale, Vietti Cascinetta Moscato d'Asti 2004, Moscato d’asti - bricco del sole piedmont 2006 and 2005 Moscato Allegro.

- Harry Potter Boxset Books 1-7 (Hardcover)
Needs no explanation

- Victoria's Secret gift card
I can always find something at Vicky's

- FOOD
I ALWAYS want this

- TIVO with recordable DVR
I need it now more than ever since I work 3 jobs and miss most TV programming.

- Pearls
Once upon a time someone bought me a pearl necklace, bracelet and earring set and an evil, evil woman took those pearls and threw them off the side of a cruise boat. That was 2002, I haven't gotten a replacement since.

- African American History For Dummies
I find this book kind of funny especially since I was an Afam/Journalism major at UNC. But for some odd reason I really want this book in my collection.

I think this list will be a work in progress but I'm a simple girl and I don't ask or require much.

Giving Back

How much do you appreciate your parents? All I have is my Mom and I may cop an attitude with her every now and then but at the end of the day I would do anything for her.

I grew up in the projects but my Mom worked hard, kept a nice home and I never felt like I lived in the projects. It really is one thing to live in the projects and to feel like you are living in the projects. I never really wanted for anything. I didn't always get what I wanted but I got enough and luckily I was never a kid in to name brands and stuff so Mom didn't have to stress about saving for some Jordan's or stuff like that. (For the record, I have never owned a pair of Jordan sneakers).

So I'm grown now and what are you supposed to do when you grow up...take care of your parents. But I have had so much debt I just never felt like I was in a position to help her. I finally got my finances in order...much love to Poppa K for sharing his financial knowledge and helping me to get my debt under control. Thanks to him I was able to give my Mom the best Holiday Season ever.

I started off small...I bought her some things she wanted but didn't really need...a rice cooker, new comforter/sheet set, some gloves, a new pair of boots...and then I hit her with the BIG present. I scheduled a Home Depot window consultation. They came to the house and I bought her windows. Yes...WINDOWS. You would not believe how expensive windows are but it was necessary. And I was just happy that I was finally in a position to do so. So my Mom is having the best Holiday Season ever...she can't wait for the installation of her windows...and of course she got all teary about me spending so much money...but it's for a good cause...it's for my Mom...she sacrificed for me so it's just time I give back.

So before you buy some small token of love for your parent(s) just think about all they have done for you through the years. It's great to get them things they want but might not need. But it's an even better feeling to get them something they need but they just can't afford.

2007 Shopping List Recap

I was getting ready to make my 2008 Shopping List and I decided to look back at my 2007 list and see how I did. The funny thing is I didn't look back at my list all year and I still got quite a few things.

- Canon Power Shot Digital Camera (BOUGHT)
It took some coaxing from Unk T but I finally bought it and it arrived in May.

- Fry Daddy (NOPE)
I'll have to add this to my 2008 list.

- Watch (NOPE)
I still don't know what time it is.

- Earrings (NOPE)
Asked a certain person to get me some Harry Mason earrings while he was in San Francisco...his response, you don't wear earrings. Yeah, cause I don't have any. So this will go on the 2008 list.

- Printer/Scanner/Copier/Fax (BOUGHT)
I got this as a birthday present from G. Lee but sadly it's still in the box. I now realize I need a new computer as well.

- Sex and the City: The Complete Series (Collector's Giftset) (NOPE)
Back on the list again. This one has been on my list since the show ended.

- Sex and the City Essentials (NOPE)
Hasn't been on the list as long but it's going back on it.

- Wine/Wine Glasses/Wine Opener (PARTIAL)
Big Sister Gorgeous One bought me wine glasses and I got a nice wine opener from Crate & Barrel. Now I just need to get the wine.

- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6) (BOUGHT)
German Girl supported my Harry Potter addiction and got this for me last X-mas.

- Victoria's Secret gift card (NOPE)
This is an item that could and probably should be on my list every year. Can always find a good reason to buy something from Vicky's.

- Good Life Woman Gift Set by Davidoff for Woman (NOPE) CORRECTION: THERE WAS A SALE AT PERFUMANIA SO I BOUGHT MYSELF THIS, THIS PAST WEEKEND
I'm all out so I have to find this fragrance. Back on the list it goes.

- FOOD (KINDA)
This should probably be #1 on my list.

- TIVO with recordable DVR (NOPE)
Back on the list and I need it now more than ever since I work 3 jobs and miss most TV programming.

I know, doesn't seem like I got a lot on my list but what I got I greatly appreciated.

My Coke Addiction

My name is...well you know my name...and I'm addicted to Coke...Coke Reward Points.

As I have previously blogged (click on the My Coke Rewards label) I developed an early addiction to My Coke Rewards points back in early 2006. I was working nights and weekends at the New York Times on the Web and I would drink a bottle or more of Coke a night to get through my shifts. And I decided to capitalize on my addiction/spending.

By July 2006 I was in full blown, almost out of control addiction. But I just couldn't resist the rewards....free Blockbuster movie rentals, Delta SkyMiles...I even got a Carolina basketball that proudly sits on my desk.

By September 2006 I thought I had kicked the habit...but really I hadn't. The craving for Coke Reward Points was always there but I resisted...never gave in to it. I still collected the points but not as aggressively as I once had.

And then last night...I fell off the wagon.

I had a little time to spare between production so I decided to add some points to my account. I always have Coke caps sitting on my desk. Now every time I would accumulate 335 points I would redeem them for 850 Delta Sky Miles. But last night to my chagrin they no longer offer the 850 mile prize. The only Delta Sky Miles prize now is 1180 points for 3000 miles. 1180 points?!?!?!? Do you know how long it will take me to accumulate that. And then it hit me....I just had to go on Ebay and buy points...and oh did I buy. I spent enough money to reward myself with 9,000 miles. I'm even closer to that free plane ticket.

The craving for points and for Delta Miles has now subsided. I think I have my addiction back under control. Pray for me...or better yet, email me your Coke Rewards codes

Feeling Thankful

It's not Thanksgiving yet but I'm feeling really thankful. I know I tend to complain a lot, especially about my lack of a love life, but it's only because I have been blessed in SOOOOO many ways and want to share my world with someone special. But this blog I'm writing for me...a reminder for those days when I'm feeling a little low...I can look at this and be reminded of all the things I'm thankful for.

1. To be alive. Every day is another chance.

2. For my Mom. As I get older I appreciate her more and more.

3. For my family. We may be slightly dysfunctional (even though my Mom would never admit that) but at the end of the day they are who they are and I gotta love them for that.

4. For my friends/extended family. If I call you my friend you are apart of my extended family. I could list all the names but I don't want to forget any one because everyone of you is significant to me.

5. For my house. I haven't lived in ATL in almost 2 years but my house is still one of my greatest achievements. It's a reminder that I have made it out of the projects. And I'm really excited about the opportunity to possibly buy again.

6. My apt in NYC. I can't even front, I do have an incredible place. And I complain about how much I pay in rent but I love where I live and there is no price tag on peace of mind and comfort.

7. My career. I have been so fortunate in my career. It just keeps getting better and better.

8. My side hustles. There is one thing I'm always good at...working...and I find the most interesting side hustles to have a little extra change in my pocket at the end of the day. My hustles are just all apart of the experience I call my life.

9. My travels. Y'all joke me that no one travels as much as I do but I can't front, I average a trip a month and I'm thankful for that. All the places I've been and all the places I will go.

10. My God. HE should really be #1. HE is the source of my strength. HE keeps me going when I don't think I can go on. HE keeps me believing in love even at my loneliest times. HE keeps opening doors for me when I think there are none left to be open. And although I don't wear my faith on my sleeve or seem to be the most devout I know who my God is and I know I am because HE is.

R.I.P. McDonald's

Every now and then I get a McDonald's craving. And when I do it's usually for french fries with an orange drink, a strawberry shake, one of those clearly microwaved burgers or my favorite...the McGriddle. That mouthwatering sandwich that turns our childhood Saturday morning treat of a hotcakes and sausage into a handy dandy morning favorite.

Why I have these cravings...I never know. I think they must have put something in our Happy Meals as a child to keep us addicted until death do us and Micky D's part. So on this rainy morning I was having visions of a hot and sweet McGriddle. I even found a buy one get one free McGriddle coupon on the seat of the subway. This had to be a sign. My mouth is watering like Homer Simpson the entire subway ride. I'm checking the time to see if I should run to McDonald's before I drop my stuff off at my desk or get them before I head to SI...I couldn't wait any longer, I headed straight for McDonalds.

As I'm riding down the escalator visions of McGriddles were dancing in my head. There are two entrances to McDonalds and I see the first door is not open and the usual McDonald's signage is not up. I assume that some construction work must be going on at that entrance and I'll go to the other one. I walk around the corner and go to the other entrance...it's also closed and there is a security guard standing there. I ask, "Is McDonald's closed for repairs?" This other lady who I hadn't noticed was standing there answers, "No, it's closed for good." But I just walked by here yesterday on my way to the subway and I know it was open.

"For good?," I say and turn back to the guard. The guard, in his thick Hispanic accent explains that McDonald's is indeed closed for good because the rent went up. The lady jumps in again, clearly distraught, "I have been coming to this McDonald's every day for 20 years and they doubled the rent and they had to close." She was clearly more upset than me although my stomach was grumbling. I look at my phone and I don't have enough time to run to the next closest McDonald's and still make our daily morning meeting. So the next best thing is this shop next to McDonald's but I was so disappointed in my eggs and bacon on a roll. It wasn't bad but it wasn't a McGriddle.

So I'm pouring out some of my Hi-C Orange drink in memory of the McDonald's on the lower level of my building that has satisfied every one of my McFood cravings.

20 Dates for under $20

I know I haven't blogged in a while but I've been busy. No, not busy having ginormous amounts of fun. Busy working and trying to hang out when I'm not working. But this post comes by way of an email...another reminder to keep the faith and not lose your wallet in this crazy game called dating:

1. Find the best happy hour in town. Look through your newspaper or search online for local restaurants and bars with happy hours. Most places offer half-price food and drink specials, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than $20.

2. Go to a museum. Most museums either have free admission or offer free entry on certain days of the month.

3. Visit your local zoo. Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than $10. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic while you're there.

4. Go on a romantic hike. Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with a bottle of champagne, glasses and fresh strawberries.

5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or beach. Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids.

6. Beat the heat with an ice cream date. Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching.

7. Hit the dollar movie theater. Lots of cities have discount movie theaters showing second-run features. Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.

8. Take a downtown walking tour. Discover things and places you never knew existed. While you're there, pick up a free visitors guide for more date ideas.

9. Plan a cheap picnic. Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own backyard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of $5 wine.

10. Take a blanket to the beach. Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese, then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on a blanket.

11. Stroll through the botanical gardens. Spend the day “walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests” walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests, for less than $10 a ticket.

12. Be a kid again. Go bowling, play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag.

13. Build a bonfire. All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity to make 'smores.

14. Rent something. Go roller- or ice-skating, rent a two-seater bike and pedal through the park, or paddle a boat on a pond.

15. Paint pottery together. Lots of studios let you get creative for around $6 an hour.

16. Pitch a tent. Park fees are usually less than $10, which leaves money for food and firewood. Go camping and roast hot dogs as you gaze at the stars.

17. Go wine tasting. Most wineries charge around $5 for a tasting of five different wines -- plus, “you'll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date” you'll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date.

18. Take a scenic drive. Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe.

19. Explore local galleries and artists. Many cities have art walks one night a month during the summer, with the bonus of a free glass of wine.

20. Rack 'em up at your local pool joint. With pool games costing less than $2, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer.

So I Think I Can Dance

I'm not normally home on Wednesday nights. But for once I don't have to work tonight but sadly I'm sick. So as I'm flipping through the channels, besides noticing that there isn't anything on TV so I really haven't been missing anything while I've been at work, I also see MY DANCE TEACHERS. I was so excited to see Tony and Melanie, my latin dance instructors. Tony choreographed one of the dances for the couples and Melanie acted as his assistant BUT one of the finalists got sick so Melanie actually had to fill in. Tony and Melanie are both champion ballroom dancers. So given that I have incredible instructors I now KNOW that I can dance. ;-P

Teach Me How To Love

How do you define love? If you look the word up in the dictionary there is over 25 different explanations for it. I don't think there is one right or wrong definition. The dictionary just proves that love is defined and applied differently based on the individual. Whenever I question what love is or need to be reminded of the kind of love I want to give and receive I turn to my faith.

According to 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and 13:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

To me, this is the definition of a perfect love. I am not perfect so I do not seek perfection I just strive to be better.

Salsa Anyone?

Have to give y'all an update on my hip hop classes...they made my knees hurt.

Nah, I enjoyed taking the classes. I didn't enjoy getting up early on Sunday mornings after staying out late the night before BUT once I got going in class I was good. I'm thinking about taking more classes this summer but later in the day on Sundays. But I'm not really sure I want to commit to 8 Sundays of which I'll know for sure I'll miss 2 of them. So I guess I'll wait until September to re-enroll.

On to salsa...I have been taking salsa lessons off and on since 2002. By now I should probably face my fear and enroll in an intermediate class. I just think everyone teaches it differently so I'm not sure the same terms apply across the board. I actually met someone at one of my speed dating events who is taking lessons and is trying to convince me to go out salsa dancing.

I don't know what it is. I have no fears about hip hop dancing at all. And I always find a way to incorporate what I learn in class to what I do in the club. But with salsa I fear not being good enough. Getting on the dance floor and forgetting the moves or in my mind confusing salsa with cha cha, merengue or whatever other dances my various instructors have intermingled.

Sounds like I need to take that guy up on his offer and face my fear.

A Mother's Lifetime

I didn't realize all the things that I have been able to do in my short life time that my Mom has never experienced.

My Mom is the hardest yet the easiest person to get a present for. It's hard because any time you ask her what she wants she either doesn't want anything or wants something very simple. Like for Christmas all she wanted was a small AM/FM radio so she could listen to her soap operas while at work.

So this year, as every other year, I struggled with what to get her for Mother's Day. I could give her flowers...again...but flowers are so temporary. She loves them when she gets them but I think I have bought my mother enough flowers from 1-800-Flowers for her to have quite an impressive vase collection.

Skizzle suggested I cook for her. I love my Mom too much to do that. Anyone that knows my cooking abilities knows why I say that. But just taking my Mom out for a meal I didn't feel really did her justice. Plus my Mom is the type to say why go out to eat when I have food here and can cook.


I just couldn't figure out what to get her. And I have a pretty good reputation of being a good gifter...I always get the right thing or something really thoughtful that is just the right thing. For days I wracked my brain with what to do. And then it all came to me at once. My Mom loves fruit. She makes a smoothie every morning. But I didn't want to get her a regular fruit basket. So I bought her an edible arrangement.

And I always go home to get my nails done so I thought a manicure and pedicure for my Mom would be a nice addition. But little did I know my mother had never had a professional pedicure or manicure in her life. LIFE...do you understand the concept? In 67 years she had NEVER EVER EVER had something as simple as a professional pedicure and manicure. I just couldn't believe it.

I can't even describe her joy at getting a simple manicure and pedicure. She said ultimately all she wanted for Mother's Day was to spend the day with her daughter. (Why the heck she would want to spend a day with me as opposed to one of my other brothers and sisters is beyond me.) She got more than she bargained for.

But then I thought about all the things I have done, the places I have been, etc. that my Mom has never experienced. My Mom has never been on a plane so she has never been to most of the places I have been. My Mom has never bought a house...she inherited my grandparent's home. My Mom bought her first car two years ago. She always had cars but she never actually bought herself one, they were always used cars purchased from friends or family but never one straight from the dealership. My mom has never been on a cruise. She's a Knicks fan but has never been to a game at Madison Square Garden. There are just so many things my Mother has never experienced (too many things to list them all) and that I take for granted.

My Mother is a reminder of how good God has been to me. I have never had a lot but God has given me so much. Parents always say they want their kids to have more than they had and that has definitely happened for me.

Summa, Summa, Summertime

I work hard (too hard) but I play even harder (or at least I try to). So I finally have secured my summer plans.

Memorial Day weekend - ATL for Smurfest. It's an annual party my ATL friends have and I haven't missed one yet. (knock on wood)

Fourth of July - July 4-8 Mz. B, Mocha and I are heading to Chicago for the Taste. Hopefully some of my girls from Carolina will be there too.

NABJ - I'm going back to Vegas...Vegas...Vegas...I'm going back to Vegas...and I'm excited. I never get tired of Vegas there is always something I haven't done before and there are some things I like to do every time I go. But it will be fun in the desert sun at the beginning of August. If anyone wants to come I got a good convention rate on a room at Bally's.

Labor Day - Mz. B and I are going to be adventurous. We are going on a White Water Rafting trip in Tennessee.

Although I have the major holidays on lock there is still room to do other stuff. I'm hoping to go to Great Adventure, to make a few trips to the beach (Jones, Coney Island, Atlantic City, Jersey Shore, Miami, Myrtle Beach, Virginia Beach, Bahamas...you get the idea...a beach), and whatever other random fun presents itself....baseball games, parties, cookouts, festivals, mini road trips...whatever...I'm down for it all.

Must Have Something in my Roots

My name is Mia and I am a workaholic.

Several people in my family suffer from "Workaholism." Workaholism is the compulsion to work a lot and/or hold several jobs, positions, hustles whether you need to or not.

It originates with my father. I was really young when my Dad was alive so I don't remember all of his hustles but I do remember one of them being a tow truck driver. Daddy always did whatever he had to legally do to keep us above water. But workaholism is not necessarily genetic because my siblings and I don't have the same Dad yet they are clearly workaholics too.

My oldest brother might be the worst offender. He is a regional sales manager for TWO companies. And how he does it amazes me. He works out of the house and has 2 company cars, 3 company computers and just 1 cell phone (cause he said keeping track of 2 would be too much). In addition to 2 full time hustles he also has 2 part time hustles. He drives nurses around (home nursing service) and has a business with one of his friends where he cleans offices. And like that isn't enough to occupy his time he also coaches kids in basketball all year long.

My next brother just has a full-time job and one part-time hustle. He has always been the one in our family known as being a "Jew." No offense to Jews but if anyone can make a dollar out of fifteen cents, it's this brother. His ridiculous methods of cheapness has been fodder for family and friends for years.

And then there is me. All my life I have watched the people in my family hustle and the hustle bug finally bit me in high school. In addition to school and all those extracurriculars I worked part-time at a law firm and I hustled condoms at school. That's right...condoms. Back in my high school days people were too "scared" to go out and buy condoms. But I had a friend that worked at CVS and he would steal or get a discount on large quantities of condoms. He was my supplier. I would sell the condoms at school. My best days were Fridays. Everyone wanted condoms for the weekend. It was so ridiculous...all they had to do was go buy them themselves...but whatever...helped to pay my pager bill.

Growing up I always told myself I'm going to go to college so I can have just one job to pay the bills and not have to hustle. In college there were times where I had FOUR jobs. After college I can only think of a few years where I didn't hold down a full-time job and at least one hustle. Then I moved back to NYC. Why oh why did I do that? NYC is the hustler capital. There are so many opportunities here it's hard to not fall in to some kind of hustle.

When I moved back last year I was at the New York Times for about 3 months before I acquired a hustle...interning for Forbes magazine. That hustle came to an end and I was feening for my next hustle like a crackhead looking for their next hit. I switched up jobs completely and told myself, no more hustles. But in a few short months I had found my next hustle...hosting speed dating events.

Fast forward to today and I just acquired another hustle. I'll be working part-time for a company ALL journalists should know...mediabistro.com.

I suffer from workaholism not because I'm greedy. My workaholism is a by-product of debt. I just don't want to be in debt and hustling gets me extra money to pay off debt. My workaholism is also out of necessity. You can't imagine what it is like to have a mortgage in Atlanta and an apt in NYC. The housing market is so bad I just can't unload the house. And it's hard to keep a tenant in my place when this is a buyer's market. So my options are to either pay the mortgage every month or jack up my credit. I'd rather work 12 jobs and never sleep than jack up my credit because credit is easy to mess up and hard as hell to fix.

I have a financial goal in mind and as long as I keep my eyes on the prize and stay focused on my focus my workaholism will only be used for good and not evil purposes.

Heart of the Matter

If I had $100 for every time someone asked my why I was single I could pay off my student loans. But seriously I had a day where 5 totally unrelated people asked me some form of the same question. I'll go with the "cute" version..."How could your pretty tail be lonely?" EASILY!

Normally when I'm asked whatever version of the same question I have to refrain from rolling my eyes and sighing in frustration. But given the person that asked me hadn't talked to me in awhile I decided to not skim over an answer. And of course he asked a two part question, "What do you want in a man?" If I had $100 for every time someone asked me that question I could pay off all my credit cards.

I told him that he knows me and the kind of person that I am. I don't require a lot in the form of a man buying me things. But from a man what I do require is invaluable and once given can't be gained back. He said, "Virginity?" I died laughing at that one. I said, "No...time, attention, trust, emotional support, unconditional love and ultimately your heart. All concepts that are apparently too mature for the boys I meet. I'm ready to share my world not just my bed."

His response was, "Wow, you are growing up. I know that quality people are hard to find but they are out there. Just don't lower the bar. Trust me, it's better to wait for the right person then to get caught up and realize you were wrong."

But then he pissed me off. "You have grown a lot but you don't know what you want. You are still a baby. What you said is a good start but then you gotta deal with specifics."

Why did he say that? I have plenty of specifics: grounded, financial responsible, emotionally stable, driven, passionate, able to balance competing forces like work, family, friends and a relationship, belief in a higher power, compatible sex drive, similar values, similar interests, ready to grow with someone and I could go on and on.

After that all he could say was, "Wow, I am convinced." I know why I am single...blogged about that before. I know what I want...blogged about that before. I've been through enough hardships, heartbreaks, kissed enough toads, etc. to know who I am and what I want. I'm just tired of waiting for him to find me.

Turkey Bowler

Last night I went bowling with some of my coworkers and got my first Turkey...incredible...I know...unbelievable...I know...can I do it again...who knows. But I'm going to a singles bowling event on Thursday so I'll get to test my luck in more ways than one ;)

Something To Be Thankful For

Thanks Nike for so eloquently concluding the fiasco that has been Imus, Rutgers and the whole "nappy headed ho" thing:

Thank you, ignorance.

Thank you for starting the conversation.

Thank you for making an entire nation listen to the Rutgers team's story. And for making us wonder what other great stories we've missed.

Thank you for reminding us to think before we speak.

Thank you for showing us how strong and poised 18- and 20-year-old women can be.

Thank you for reminding a sports nation that another basketball tournament goes on in March.

Thank you for showing us that sport includes more than the time spent on the court.

Thank you for unintentionally moving women's sport forward.

And thank you for making all of us realize that we still have a long way to go.

Next season starts 11.16.07


And in the words of Forest Gump, "And that's all I have to say about that."

What Happened to Dating?

I once posted an ad on Craig's List asking this very question. And I know I have blogged in the past on dating ideas. Apparently what has happened to dating is that people have gotten lazy and have lost creativity...they don't think outside of the box.

So here are some date ideas and some are actually free or cheap:

- Free movie screening or matinee (leaves the rest of the day to do something else)

- Every place has after work drink specials

- Most jobs give employees discounts to things around the city like museums

- Dinner, drinks and games at Dave & Busters and not expensive if you do the Power Combo...it comes with a $10 game card

- You can get half priced tickets to Broadway shows or go to an off Broadway show or even go to a community theater

- Walk across the BK bridge and talk and get to know each other while gazing at the beautiful skyline that is NYC

- Go bowling or play pool

- Take a salsa class together... A lot of places will offer the first trial class free

- Roam around a book store or a library

- Hit up a Starbucks or better yet a not-so-name brand coffee shop

- Share your MP3 collection with each other

- Roam around a part of town you have never roamed before... You never know where you could end up or what you might find, including about each other

- Summer is almost here and there will be PLENTY of street festivals

- Carnivals are another staple of summer

- Hit the beach...Jones Beach or Coney Island are not that far

- Go cart racing is always fun

- Share a hotdog as you walk around Central Park...An impromptu picnic would be an even nicer touch.

- Horse and carriage ride...every gir's dream

- Workout together. I avoid the gym because I don't know how to use the equipment but if someone offered to show me I would go.

- Make plans to cook something together. Even something as simple as baking a cake or cookies.

- Play miniature golf

- Watch the sunrise or sunset together

- Read a book aloud together. I prefer a Zane short story or even some poetry.

- Buy the ingredients to make an ice cream sundae, and create it together. Or if that is too much work, find the nearest Mr. Softee truck.

- Go to a comedy club. Everyone likes to laugh.

- Visit a museum

- Ascend to the top of the Rock or the Empire State building

- Go sightseeing...It's not just exclusive to tourists

- Take me out to the ballgame...Buy me an italian sausage, a soda and a carvel sundae in a Yankee cup

- Rent canoes and paddle around the nearest lake. I always wanted to rent a paddle boat on the Potamic

- Go to the zoo

- Visit the botanical gardens

- Play a board game

- Teach me how to play chess

- Drive some place close that you have never visited before

- Visit a bed and breakfast for a nice overnight getaway

- Go to a strip club together (not recommended for a first date)

I know I'm not the only one with ideas. Come on people....dating ideas? Now, if I can just find some dates to do all the things I have thought of.

Liar, Liar...Pants on Fire

I can deal with a lot of things. Lying is not one of them.

I had an ex that would lie to me about little, stupid, insignificant shit. And when I would catch him in these little "white lies" he never had a good reason for lying. And that would just piss me off to no end. Cause if you will lie to me about the little things you will lie to me about the big things.

I had another ex that was bold with the lying. This dude would look me in the eye and lie to my face. To me, that is the equivalent of someone spitting in my face. It's one thing (and still not the right thing) to lie to me on IM, email, text message, phone...whatever...but to look me directly in my face and lie to me is beyond disrespectful.

Too many people talk about keeping it real and always being honest. But that's some BS...cause if put in a situation where lying is an easy out most people would just choose to lie.

I don't know how many times I have to blog this, text this, chat this, discuss this if I tell you to be honest with me, not to lie to me, DON'T DO IT! I'm tired of people lying to me to supposedly protect my feelings. More BS. You ain't protecting my feelings you are looking out for your own ass. Let me worry about my feelings. Cause when I find out the truth and anyone who knows me knows I ALWAYS find out the truth it's going to piss me off even more. If you had told me from jump, I could have just thanked you for your honesty and walked away.

I had another dude that I was casually seeing. He later admitted there was more to the situation than he had initially told me. I was mad, don't get me wrong, but because he was honest with me I wished him the best and kept it moving. No drama, no arguing, no tears. He admitted to me something he should have made clear from jump but that was neither here nor there because at least he was now giving me necessary information so I could decide how to proceed.

I cannot make the right decision if I'm not being told the truth. If a person gets in to a situation that requires them to lie to me about it then they shouldn't have been in that situation in the first place. But don't lie to avoid the consequences. If you were bold enough to do what you did irregardless of possible negative outcomes, then face what's coming. Or at least give me the chance to walk away without feeling like you completely disrespected me.

I think this quote sums it up for me, "It is better to be told a hurtful truth than to be told a comforting lie."